Hysterical Jugglings

101/1001 Days Countdown.

2012-01-25T20:23:00.002Z

It ends on Saturday 28th April 2012.

I have done 25% of the list. Not entirely sure whether I feel like a failure or not. I am quite pleased I have at least got some of it done.

I have three months and three days left to get the rest done. Perhaps will be making a new list soon with some of the same stuff on it again.

Identity

2011-12-12T17:52:00.003Z

What defines a person's identity? Is identity a social construct or self-defined boxes that we create for ourselves?

Is it what other people think of you? Is it the image that you have in your head about yourself? A mixture of the two, or something entirely different?

We think we have a certain amount of control over our identities, but really are we just constrained with what society expects of us, or what our family and friends want from us?

When you meet people for the first time can you ever be truly authentic in how you put yourself across, or do you just be yourself, warts and all? Do you put yourself forward as something that you aren't and then revert to true type after a certain amount of time?

I will admit identity is something that I think about a lot. Possibly because I am aware that I perhaps have more than one identity and will only let certain trusted friends into what might be considered to be the real me. Does that mean that the me that goes around on a daily basis is false, or just a more subdued version of me? Hopefully it is just a more subdued version of me. Diluted for generic public consumption.

However is holding back being authentic and genuine? Can aspects of a subdued personality actually do you a disservice when people take you at face value and make no attempt to get to know you any further than that? However if that is the case, then surely that is the issue of the person making the assumptions rather than the person who withholds some of themselves?

What reasons could there be for withholding the real you from whomever you met?
The simplest reasons I can imagine would be shyness and self-preservation. True friendship is earnt and while you can see the potential for possible true friends quite early in a relationship, I think we all have had experience of someone showing their not so pleasant true colours later on, and getting our fingers burnt (or hearts broken).

I think at the end of the day, I can't really be anyone that I am not, and although I might show different facets of myself to different people in different situations, they are still only parts of the one whole. And it takes a very special person who I will allow to see the whole Me.

Empty Head by Owen (age 10yrs and 4 months)

2011-12-01T18:13:00.004Z

Empty Head

An idea came
Flew into my head
So huge
So terrifying
An idea came
Its emerald green eyes paralysing its prey
Its thrashing wings creating whirlwinds in the sky
Its roar echoes through the planet
Its burning scarlet scales
Contrast with its golden glistening horns
A silver tipped tail slashes the air
Poisonous bloodstained fangs sink into the earth
Static claws illuminate the clouds
An idea came
I wanted it to stay
Its fiery breath burns me
Its icy spit freezes me
It flew away to oblivion
It was gone.

Whoops.

2011-11-23T16:38:00.003Z

Umm, yeah. No excuse really for ignoring the blog, just haven't really thought about it much to update here.

Not sure where I want to take this blog. Personal updates of "I took the kids to school, did housework, blah blah blah" don't make for a particularly interesting read (or that great for me to write either.)

However I don't want to stop writing about stuff that I feel passionately about, angry about or just generally WTF about. Do I use prompts to help me get the creative juices following? Do I pimp myself out on other blogs I read to try and get more inspiration there? (If you are following me, then ideas of what to write about would be greatly appreciated.)

It isn't like I don't have enough time to get on here, but that may be part of the problem. Too much free time. Often it is when I am busy that I think of wicked things to write about, but by the time I sit down to write about it, I forget what I thought of.

So, do I write about politics? Our fucked up society? The state of the planet? Sex? Religion? Steps reforming?

Universe! Send me some ideas!!

Quiet of late...

2011-09-16T00:12:00.002+01:00

but I do think I have a bloody good excuse, what with moving to the bottom of the planet and all that! :D

Yep, we are in the Back of Beyond now, and it's rather windy, chilly and not many penguins yet. Other than that, all is pretty good (other than the missing people like crazy part).

There is a blog of our adventures out there if you can be bothered. Twinned With Whitby if you fancy a read. I shall be keeping this blog though for my normal ramblings and musings.

So hope you stick around.

Generation X,Y and Z. The End Of Days...

2011-08-10T19:49:00.003+01:00

Society has become obsessed with Consuming. Your own personal worth is dictated by the things that you have. Not what you know, or what you do, but what you have. We must all Live to Work, to create money to get the stuff we want, and to make ever increasing profit. If you don't have things, or show off the things that you have, then you have no social status or standing amongst your peers.

If you have children, you must give them stuff to show them how much you love them and how important they are. The more expensive the better. It doesn't matter that you may put yourself in debt, your children will just see that as a sign of how important and loved they are. Things equal attention, affection and love.

We are told on a daily basis that we must consume more, have more, we need more, we are lacking without, in fact we are worse than that, we are somehow less, meaningless, not worthy if we do not have the things we are told we want.

We watch governments, professional politicians taking money away from us, with no return. We see big business evading taxes, putting prices up and making profit off of us. We see the banks, taking money from us, then us again through the government bailouts and then again through government taxes with no return.

We live in a society based on Greed. So why are we surprised when people who see these big businesses, government, banks and professional politicians taking from us indiscriminately, start to do it themselves?

Why is it right for them and wrong for the others? The answer is that it isn't right for ANYONE to take from others. Whether it be a politician fiddling his/her expenses, big business evading taxes and profiteering from us, or masked looters smashing in windows of JD Sports. IT IS ALL FUCKING WRONG!!!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Spookiness Abounds...

2011-07-13T11:46:00.005+01:00

My Bestie from Uni and I went to see this; Ghost Stories at the Duke of York theatre on Monday evening.

It has been hyped to be one of the scariest things you will ever see, and that audiences have been hysterical about it. So Louise and I were looking forward to have the absolute crap scared out of us. We got to the theatre a little early, and got the drinks in. The theatre had been decked out like an abandoned building with yellow Police Only tape strewn about, random numbers scrawled on the walls and spooky noises throughout.

We sat in the bar for about 15 minutes, sharing our own scary stories and basically winding ourselves up before going in for the show itself.

We had Stall seats right at the end of the row, three rows from the front(!), so I made Louise sit on the outside, so if anything jumped out of the door next to us, then It would get her first! :P (I am such a nice friend.)

I can't really tell you much about the play itself (spoilers, darling). The premise of it being a lecture on the paranormal was cool, even to the point where the Lecturer's thesis was one I thought "ooh, I wouldn't mind doing that." The three stories/examples that were used through the show were creepily done, even if I have read way too much on ghosts and urban myths so recognised a great deal of the ideas/inspiration about the stories. But as discussed with Louise afterwards, using stories that people (the audience) are kind of familiar with is a very good way of engaging them.

The whole set up was geared to make you uneasy, (strange noises, weird lights and blasting the really cold air conditioning up high, I recommend take a cardie or jumper,) and it works well. You do need to go with the frame of mind as you do when venturing onto a ghost train. You want to be scared, in a safe way and have fun doing it. So on that level, I do think that Ghost Stories was a success. Yes, it was a little predictable, but ghost stories usually are.

All in all, 7/10. I thoroughly enjoyed it, was a little bit frightened while it was going on, but not so much I couldn't sleep that night. (Especially in a strange old spooky hotel.)

Dance of the SugarPlum Fairy

2011-07-08T14:42:00.002+01:00

We haven't had any cuteness for some time now,

2011-07-05T19:38:00.002+01:00

so here is some.

see more dog and puppy pictures

and...

see more dog and puppy pictures

THE ONLY WITCH IN THE VILLAGE!!!

2011-06-28T14:11:00.002+01:00

I am moving overseas at the end of August. Exciting but eversoslightly terrifying as well. It has literally been on the cards for years, just have never been completely sure what the Big Change that was promised would actually be. (Was really really hoping it wasn't another baby as I so don't want/need to be doing that again.)

So yeah, when Hubs got a job on the other side of the world, I Knew that this was it. A chance to leave behind all the crap of the UK and start again.

It is rather overwhelming when I think of it too much and I wonder what it will be like. The seasons are opposite to here, so we will be moving into the Spring Equinox energy when we get there. It gives us the opportunity to move away from the Christianised version of the Sabbats, since Easter will be at the Autumn Equinox, and Christmas will be in the middle of the Summer. (Which undoubtedly will mess with my tiny little mind a lot.)

The one thing is does mean that although Christmas may be happening in the Summer, we can still have our Winter Solstice celebrations (Yule) and make a big deal out of it, which will help to alleviate some of the confusion that the kids may have. (Yes, Pagans get to have two Crimbos!)

What I have wondered though, is will I be the only Witchy type Pagan out there? I have been told that there is someone out there, (described as a White Witchy type, which makes my hackles rise, but may just be a Non-Pagan's description of them.) Whether or not they will have anything in common with me, remains to be seen, but it would be nice to think that we might do.

However, if we don't, so be it. I shall cope. It will be interesting to see what happens to my Witchcraft and stuff when I have more time and space to get on and do it. Who knows, I might even set up my own Trad! :P

Sorta Rape, Not Real Rape... (Warning...possible triggers.)

2011-05-25T12:37:00.004+01:00

There has been a lot in the press this week stemming from comments made by a couple of Conservative MPs (and one MEP.)

Firstly Nadine Dorries introduced the Bill, that if passed would mean that girls between the ages of 11-15 would have lessons in sexual abstinance. Just girls, mind you. Not boys... Guardian article on the Bill

Then in a television interview, she came out with, I quote;
“If a stronger ‘just say no’ message was given to children, there might be an impact on sex abuse. A lot of girls, when abuse takes place, don’t realise until later that that was wrong because sex is so common in society."

Later that same week, Ken Clarke came out with comments that could be construed as meaning that some rapes are somehow less than other. He did try to clarify what he meant, but still managed to show his little understanding of what he was talking about in the first place. Ken Clark Clarifies?

He was then defended by the MEP, Roger Helmer, who definitely feels some rape is worse than other rape. "Women share some of the responsibilty"

Let's just say it's been a bad week for Tory politicians opening their mouths without thought, but also a bad week for us all when we look at these views in a broader perspective.

Nadine Dorries...WTF? Seriously? My mind cannot comprehend that a modern woman would come out with this claptrap. But when you take on board her religious and political beliefs (Fundie and very RightWing) it all becomes clear. I really don't even have to pull her ideas apart to show how ridiculous they are. But unfortunately, there are those that while agree that her Bill for single sex abstinance education is ridiculous fail to see how those ideas translate into the comments that her male colleagues make later in the week.

If we are teaching young girls that they must hold ALL sexual responsibility, as women, they STILL must hold that responsibility at all times, and if they are raped, then somehow it must be their fault. Your clothing, your attitude, your whereabouts, your alcohol consumption are all questioned in an attempt to show how a woman's actions contribute to her rape. And if you happen to be raped by someone you know (the majority of all rapes) then all of that, AND your sexual history is taken into account.

Dorries' comments that “If a stronger ‘just say no’ message was given to children, there might be an impact on sex abuse. A lot of girls, when abuse takes place, don’t realise until later that that was wrong because sex is so common in society."

Because when a sexual predator is about to abuse someone, saying no always stops them...What? You mean it doesn't?

Abuse isn't about sex. Like rape, abuse is about POWER! The power of one person over another!

I know I will be preaching to the converted here, but rape and abuse is about violent power over another. It isn't just about sex, or sexual gratification, it has a whole load of other nasties wrapped up along with it.

But the bottom line is, if a woman or man says they don't want to have sex at ANY point of the act, they have that right, and whoever they are with MUST STOP NO MATTER WHAT!

It infantalises and demeans men when the notion that they are somehow incapable of stopping having sex at any given moment is put forward as an excuse, and that when they have an erection or intercourse, that their minds switch off entirely and they become little more than drooling sexual automatons.

On a very personal note, I will share some of my more nasty sexual experiences...(Possible Trigger Alert)

The first time I had sex. I was sixteen, a bit of a social klutz, and generally a bit of a emo teenage mess. I was unsure if I wanted to do anything, but found myself led along and plied with alcohol, so when I really did want to stop, it didn't happen. I "changed my mind" at the last moment, so I know that I fall into that catagory of "it's not proper rape", but imho he had the power, he didn't stop when I wanted him to, and while I don't feel I have any long lasting damage from the event, it still means the first time I had sex is not something I feel fondly about.

I once met someone and went on a few dates with him. He was quite a bit older than me (at Uni while I was still at school.) He was nice enough, and then one Saturday morning, I met him at his digs thinking we were going to go out. As I turned up, his housemates were leaving. He was still in a dressing gown. To cut a long story short, I spent most my time trying to fend off his advances, to stop him trying to "persuade" me to go upstairs with me, and it ended with me managing to get out of the house. (Thank the Gods it wasn't locked.) and ran to a friend's house around the corner. At her house, I managed to rearrange my clothes and refasten my bra that he had managed to undo. Was this a sexual assault? Probably. Did I tell anyone other than my friends? No. Did I think I was an idiot for getting myself into that situation? Yes. However, I didn't ask for any of it, I wasn't expecting it, and why should he have thought he could get into knickers just because he felt like it.

On more than one occasion, I have had my hand forced down someone's trousers to get them off. Even to the point, that the young man in question didn't want me, he wanted my friend, but when I went out of the party to tell him that, he felt he would make do with me instead...

I have lost count of the times I have had my breasts groped and poked by men thinking that because I have spoken to them, maybe even kissed them, that I was "up for it".

It doesn't happen anymore. I am older and wiser and know how not to get myself into those situations. (Or as some arse would say, I am fatter and uglier now...a whole different issue in itself).

I never reported or told anyone (who could/would do anything about them) about these incidents, but I can guarantee that every woman out there probably has similar tales. Does this mean we were all asking for it?

I will post something serious soon, I promise...

2011-05-20T16:50:00.001+01:00

But not yet.

I don't know who this is, or what he is saying, but Josie and I love it. It's the bouncing snowball from Finland as far as we are concerned. I am posting it here, as I have to play it every day for Josie...*sigh*

Things I will miss and won't miss...

2011-05-12T13:05:00.001+01:00

When we move to the Falkland Islands, life is going to be very different. Not bad, just not what I am used to. I am a little bit apprehensive about this, but I hope it will be the impetus to get off my fat arse and do some things I really want to do.

THINGS I WILL MISS IN THE UK, and Cheshunt

Friends and Family (goes without saying, really!)
Hertford Farmers' Market
Trees
My herb garden
The local flora and fauna
Cinema
Restaurant Curry
New books

THINGS I WON'T MISS (at all!)
Crime
Pollution
Bad attitudes
Adverts
Christmas hype in the shops 3 months before the actual event.
Apathy
Politics

(MORE TO BE ADDED WHEN I THINK OF THEM)

Eating Daisies.

2011-05-11T12:34:00.002+01:00

At the moment, I need to keep reminding myself that my emotional response to things is out of proportion to the actual reality of the situation. I am indeed overreacting.

There is a course starting in September just up the road from me, run by Sensory Solutions. It is a year long herbal apprenticeship (not cheap, but worth the money) and if I was in the country I would be all over it like an overenthusiastic labrador! But I ain't.

Now what I will be doing is wicked and amazing and a chance of a lifetime, and it isn't like I don't want to go. I just think it's fecking typical that this kinda thing crops up now when I won't be here.

And like I said, I am disportionately disappointed about it. Not entirely sure whether this disappointment is from the fact I have finally found a course that I want to, or that I should have been doing this type of work on my own and just got on with it. Is my procrastination kicking me up the arse again?

The thing is, yes, I could have probably done it on my own, but it is nice to speak to like-minded people that don't think you are bonkers and can help you out if the need arises.

And finally, Daisies taste of Happy and Rocket(Arugula)

Tattoos I want...

2011-04-26T17:53:00.004+01:00

And probably will never have the guts to do! ;)

A combination of Celtic knot-work with Indian Henna style patterns.
A Mouse
A circle of holly leaves and oak leaves, with berries and acorns.
A triple moon
A dragon.

From my more Witchy Blog

2011-03-31T13:05:00.003+01:00

This is a post from one of my other blogs, which is more Witchcraft and Spirituality based.

Magick in the Back of Beyond

I would have just crossposted it, but my highlighting thingey isn't working, which is a pain in the bum.

Blasts from my past.

2011-03-28T17:27:00.002+01:00

Nothing like the songs of your teenage years to bring back those old memories. :D

Pet Shop Boys - It's A Sin.

2011-03-28T17:23:00.000+01:00

Alice Cooper - Poison

2011-03-28T17:07:00.001+01:00

Europe - Carrie

2011-03-28T16:51:00.004+01:00

Oh, the hair, the cigarette lighters waved in the air until we burnt our fingers, the bad leather, the bad denim. Memories... :D

Billie Holiday - They Can't Take That Away From Me.

2011-03-25T16:49:00.002Z

10 Steps To A More Balanced Life | The Beauty Bean

2011-03-25T14:07:00.000Z

10 Steps To A More Balanced Life | The Beauty Bean

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

2011-03-25T11:46:00.001Z

HE GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Borrowed" from Existing's Tricky.

2011-03-22T18:00:00.003Z

FROM HERE, Existing's Tricky

I would suggest that you check out Shanna's actual blog, since it is interesting, but also because this post has lots of interesting clickylinky bits in it, that I can't transfer over. (My laptop has given up on the highlighting thing which is rather frustrating.)

100 Tips to Heal the Body, Mind and Spirit
In honor of my 100th post (woohoo!!!) I have put together a list of healing tips for body, mind and soul:

1. Drink Green Smoothies Daily
2. Laugh for at least a minute each day
3. Bounce on a rebounder
4. Spend time with animals; experience puppy love
5. Soak up the sun; Vitamin D gives us pep and healthy skin!
6. Keep your mind active by doing puzzles
7. Practice Yoga
8. Say affirmations in the mirror daily
9. Tell yourself "I love you" every time you look in a mirror
10. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
11. Get a series of colonics annually
12. Do enemas weekly
13. The Violet Flame
14. Ressonance Repatterning
15. Journal Daily
16. Meditate at least 15 minutes each day
17. Experience Vipssana
18. Get a massage
19. Eat lots of Superfoods
20.Practice Gratitude daily

21. Create your own Quantum Shift statement and focus on it
22. Practice Reiki or schedule a session
23. Go on a 7 day Sugar Cleanse
24. Send Love Letters to your family and friends
25. Wear a sleep mask at night
26. Go Vegan for 30 Days
27. Cultivate your friendships
28. Use a Skin Brush daily before showering
29. Use a Neti Pot to clear your nostrils
30. Go Barefoot as often as possible
31. Practice the Healing Codes
32. Take a detox bath
33. Experience tuning fork sound therapy
34. Write a letter to the Universe
35. Climb your way to more positive thoughts daily
36. Buy Crazy Sexy Diet and do the 21 Day Adventure Cleanse
37. Practice Forgiveness daily
38. Take time to cry it out
39. Practice deep breathing techniques
40. Do Donna Eden's 5-Minute Daily Energy Routine

41. Practice the Script, a spiritual healing prayer
42. Check your PH daily
43. Mentally bless people who annoy you
44. Release your romantic illusions
45. Add Cinnamon to your meals
46. Create a Vision Board
47. Do these healing workbook exercises
48. Eliminate coffee from your diet
49. Do a parasite cleanse
50. Do a gall bladder cleanse
51. Detox with an infra-red sauna
52. Pray
53. Go to YouTube and listen to channelings from Bashar
54. Practice the Law of Attraction
55. Read these books
56. Stop gossiping
57. Make only positive posts online
58. Take your vitamins
59. Drink green, red and yerba mate teas
60. Write your New Moon Abundance Checks

61. Get Reconnected
62. Practice Ho'oponopono
63. Raise your vibrations with Vibes Up
64. Declutter your space
65. Use the mirroring exercise when people ruffle your feathers
66. Use Oracle Cards as guides
67. Put in your favorite CD and shake your booty!
68. Serve Others
69. Get in balance
70. Read Eat, Pray, Love
71. Erase the word "should" from your vocabulary
72. Subscribe to "The Daily Love" a beautiful daily e-newsletter
73. Eat lots of carrots
74. Get a Zapper
75. Get a tongue scrapper
76. Take off your bra as often as possible, they constrict your lymph nodes
77. Use Tooth Soap to heal your cavities and create healthy teeth
78. Write yourself a love letter
79. Use flower essences
80. Read Marianna Williamson's "A Reflection on a Course of Miracles"

81. Take yourself on a date
82. Use coconut oil on your skin after showering
83. Stand naked in the mirror and tell each and every body part, organ, cell "I Love You"
84. Cut out carbs for a week
85. Cut out processed foods permanently
86. Eliminate soda pop from your diet
87. Take the "No TV for 30 Days" challenge
88. Take time to feel your feelings
89. Go to the Farmer's Market
90. Go on a Media Diet
91. Learn how to say "NO" with grace
92. Do some Spiritual House Cleaning
93. Drink lots of water
94. Take Probiotics
95. Chew your meals mindfully
96. Give yourself hugs
97. Practice visualization techniques
98. Stretch every morning when you get up
99. Learn the Tibetan Rejuvenation Rites
100. Love Yourself

2011-03-21T18:39:00.003Z

This is me. Age 9. About the same age as my son is now. The hair is blonde, not grey, although my mother says I was 40 from the age of 4, my hair didn't show it. :P

I was a pretty little thing, although I didn't really feel it. Once again, hindsight is 20:20 and I was quite a sad little thing too. There were (are) father issues. Not anything too serious in some ways, but serious enough to have a lasting effect.

I can see both my son and daughter in this picture. My son seems to have inherited my somewhat melancholy nature. I want to shield them both from the harshness that can be our world, but I don't want to smother them in cotton wool and leave them vulnerable to the reality of life.

I try to show them what is good in the world too. My daughter is shouting "Spring is coming, Spring is coming" as we point to the buds and blossoms forming on the trees.

I want them to be happier than I was as a child. It is a work in progress.

One Step Closer

2011-03-18T13:25:00.002Z

To what could be the biggest change in our lives...

Eeeek!

Neil has had his interview for an overseas job, which he feels went well. We will find out in the next week or so whether he has it or not.

This is very exciting, and we are trying not to pin our hopes on it too much. (Although that is probably too late now. :P

The Pierces - You''ll Be Mine

2011-03-15T11:01:00.003Z

Any song that has the line "Prick your finger on a spinning wheel" is good for me. And I love the video as I am actually a total Fluffy! :P

I am not very cool! :P

2011-03-10T10:39:00.003Z

This just proves it.

Am listening to the guilty pleasure that is slightly naff music that I really like.

Bryan Adams - Run To You. I was only 10 when this song came out, but I have always liked it. And he was one of my first crushes. (Bless!)

Old post.

2011-03-08T12:05:00.002Z

Thought I would bring an old post to the surface.

Here it is,

Jump!

Touch me.

2011-03-03T19:27:00.004Z

The softest, slightest, gentlest touch from the tips of your fingers.
Your hand tightly, firmly holding my wrists together
As your other closes the steel cuffs.
The opposites of sensation.
Is all I want from you.

Secret.

2011-03-03T10:22:00.002Z

I have a guilty little secret,
One I cannot share.
A dirty little secret
That only I can bear.

My secret makes me naughty,
A giggle and a look.
I was caught in an instant,
Sinker, line and hook.

What is my little secret?
Well, that I cannot tell.
One mistaken whispered word,
And I am off to hell!

:P

I know you love me.

2011-02-15T11:36:00.000Z

I know you love me, but,
Sometimes you need to hold my hand.
Sometimes you need to throw caution to the wind
And whisk me away from reality.

I know you love me, but
Sometimes my quietness is actually just loneliness,
Sometimes the words spoken are shadowed by the words
Left unsaid.

I know you love me, but
Sometimes I need to feel more from you
Sometimes I need the passion, the fireworks and the drama
That makes us feel alive.

I know you love me, but
It just doesn’t feel like it anymore.

Children in the Marital Bed.

2011-02-09T14:27:00.003Z

If you are a parent, at some point or another you will have had one of your children sleep in bed with you. It isn't the exactly the biggest parenting issue in the world. However, today it was decided (on telly) that it was a Bad Thing.

What gets me though, it wasn't a Bad Thing because of the disturbed sleep and uncomfortableness, etc, etc. It was a Bad Thing because it impacts on your relationship... Poor old Daddy feels left out, and that he is being usurped from his rightful place in his marital bed and he can't have sex in it, so Mummy can't love him anymore and that's bad and it's all the fault of the child sleeping in the bed with them...

Umm. No.

If you do have a child in bed with you, then work out what the reason is for that. Are they ill? Having nightmares? Or are you just too tired to put them back into their own bed? Remember that as that child grows up, they aren't going to be wanting to sleep in the bed with you so why worry about the odd night when they are little. If it is every night, then perhaps there is an issue there, but quite frankly having a kid in the bed every night is a symptom of a problem, not the actual problem...

Mummy doesn't want to have sex with Daddy? That isn't because there is a kid in bed with you. That's a bigger issue, and you are blaming a symptom rather than the problem. If Mummy wants to have sex with Daddy, she will find a way to have sex with Daddy! (NEWSFLASH!!! You don't have to have sex just in the bed!)

Sometimes Mummy doesn't want to have sex with Daddy cos she is too damn knackered and bed is mainly for sleeping in!! If it is purely just tiredness, this is pretty easily remedied with, guess what? SLEEP!! How about getting someone else to look after the kids every now and again, and letting Mum have some peace and quiet? Not exactly rocket science. And if she still doesn't want to have sex, then make the effort to find out why? Is that too much to ask?

This is another way men are made out to be little more than infants. When in fact, they are Grown Ups too. Makes me soooo cross when the act of Parenting is set up as somehow damaging to Relationships. It isn't. So get over it!

The Black Imp.

2011-02-07T11:15:00.005Z

At least Don Quixote had his windmills.
You mindlessly tilt at nothing.
Your words and actions don’t match up
And your pain and misery spreads like the plague.
Angrily shouting about Honour and Truth
Yet your Honour has gone
And your Truth has slipped you by.

Man of substance
Your portrayal is flawed.
The Black Imp of Deceit sits at your feet
A constant companion.
You don’t even notice him.
Your Gods are watching even if you don’t care.
They notice as you break your vows.

Payback is a Bitch.
SHE is merciless and unyielding.
SHE has no care for your feelings or motives,
SHE sees only cold naked fear and truth.
SHE will hold you up
Weigh your soul.
And find you lacking.

They Watch.

2011-02-07T10:49:00.003Z

She sat in the circle. Alone and vulnerable, with only a line of salt to protect her. Her only light a single candle. They looked at her from the outside. They couldn’t reach her without breaching the circle.
They knew what she was getting herself into, but they could not warn her. They knew nothing would be the same once again. They hoped it would not burn her soul too much.
Placed in front of the woman was a goblet. Dark liquid filled its bowl. They watched her mutter some strange incantation and lift the vessel to her mouth. She drank it down. Her eyes opened and her Universe shattered into sharp pieces.

Bitch.

2011-02-01T13:14:00.001Z

Yes. Yes I am.

Today I need to play this song loudly.

Bitch - Meredith Brooks

Loyalty

2011-01-25T14:23:00.003Z

I am probably a bit too loyal.

If I have made the decision to be your friend, then it takes an awful lot for me to end that friendship. Only when I have had my heart pulled out and trampled on will I walk away. And even then, under some circumstances I will let them back in if they had a good enough reason for being so horrid in the first place.

So it is really really hard for me to deal with a friend who says they are my friend, want to continue to be my friend, but make bugger all effort in actually BEING a friend. I give them so much slack, but it hurts when I feel like they don't care.

I have other friends who are equally elusive, but I know their reasons for it. Work is often hectic and unpredictable, or just time-consuming. Some live miles away, so we don't get together often. I don't have an issue with that. I don't live a life where I can just drop everything for a beer or coffee, so I do understand.

What I don't understand is, just not giving a shit about me any more, when they say they are my friend. No returning calls, replying to emails or texts, yet then ringing me randomly for a long chat and being the lovely person they can be.

So, when is it time to say enough is enough?

Overemotional?

2011-01-24T11:13:00.004Z

When people meet me for the first time, and possibly for a few more times, they seem to get the impression that I am a hard-nosed cow. And tbh, I probably am. It takes a long time for me to be completely open with someone, and sometimes it doesn't happen at all. It wasn't always like that. Too often I would meet someone that I felt had a certain kindred spirit quality about them, and I would burn too hot, reveal too much, and get my fingers burnt.

I could be too enthusiastic, too full on, and too much. No one seemed to be able to cope with the unabashed me. So the walls went up. And up and up.

The problem with these Great Walls of Hysterical Juggling means that all the emotion and feeling that would spew forth with abandon is kept in, safe and quiet to the outside, yet constantly bubbling away like a great big Cauldron of Power. Occasionally it erupts and can be a force for good or for evil depending on the situation.

I need to be able to dismantle these walls, but rein the emotional abundance in. I know there is nothing wrong with emotion, but mine have always seem to frighten people. They just don't GET it, they don't GET me.

However, I am very much getting to the stage in life where I don't care about that anymore.

Does it matter that I cry at mushy films, at poetry, at music, in empathy to someone on the telly, in real life etc?

Does it matter that I have to turn off the news because I become overwhelmed by the sadness, trauma, hatred that we are constantly bombarded with?

Is it wrong that the more I hear about the state of the world and what the "governments" of the world are doing to it, and I want to scream in their faces "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

Is it wrong to want to teach my children survivalist skills, because I am coming to the conclusion that they, or their children are going to need them?

Am I the only one that wants to wear pink leopard spotted high heels, dance on tables, drunk on red wine, kissing strangers and jumping in fountains?

Am I the only one that wants to run through the woods at night, and skinnydip in the moonlight?

Am I the only one that looks at a life that isn't bad in any way, but it isn't the life that they ever expected...?

I couldn't help myself

2011-01-20T17:24:00.000Z

see more Lol Celebs

It's A Trap.

2011-01-14T17:33:00.005Z

Magaly from Pagan Culture is trying out a new challenge, getting her readers to write pagan styley fiction in less that 113 words. This blatantly isn't 113 words, but I thought I would share it anyway. (It isn't that Pagan either, more Urban Fantasy!) :P

It’s A Trap!

The bar isn't too busy. Enough people to make a pleasant evening, but not too many that you feel cramped and in danger of having one’s drink spilt. I walk to the bar, and smile at my favourite bartender.

I sit on a barstool, and he pours me a large glass of red wine. He knows me well so I know that I will not be harassed by unwanted attention whilst I sit there. I am wearing the classic little black dress, ala Audrey Hepburn, stockings and killer high heels. I have made some heads turn as I walked through the bar. That is how it should be, but other than that, it really doesn’t interest me.

I look at around the place, its décor is very modern, lots of mirrors and crystal, which makes for a charmingly glittery effect. There are tables lining most of the walls, with dividers providing some semblance of privacy. Plush black velvet and leather seats are filled with young beautiful people vying with each other for attention and adoration. In the corner of the bar, there is an old school Wurlitzer jukebox. At the moment it is playing The Eagles, Hotel California. Oddly fitting for this particular time and place.

I continue to sit at the bar. Occasionally I turn to watch who is entering through the doors. I am not looking for anyone in particular, but I will know him when he walks in. I have to sweetly discourage many men and a few women, who approach me for my attention. Sometimes not so sweetly, but my barman will come to my rescue if he thinks I need it. I don’t need it. But still…

Ah, there he is. He has just walked in with a group of whom I assume are his friends. They glance my way. Then look for a little longer, the men with undisguised interest, the women with undisguised envy. He smiles shyly at me, using his boyish good looks to his advantage. It works, he is adorable, so I repay him with a slight raising of my glass and small smile.

The jukebox has now started playing Soft Cell’s Tainted Love. This makes me smile more.

This new group of young people surround the pool table in the far end of the bar. It is opposite to me, so I can watch them without distraction. They know I am watching them, I see the dirty looks from the young women and the sniggers from the young men. After half an hour of watching them attempt to play pool, with the ubiquitous immature flirting from the young women, I see my boyish one pull out his wallet to head toward the bar. To me. One of the young women, the blonde one who seems to think that he is interested in her follows like a little puppy. It saddens me slightly to see a woman to act like this, but she will learn as we all do at some point.

I slowly drain the last of my wine, as he arrives at the bar. He pushes through, and manages to secure a place about arms length away from me. His puppy tries to get as close to him as she possibly can. She glares at me over his arms as he orders his and his friends’ drinks. The barman clears away my empty wineglass, and as the young man notices, he turns to me and offers to buy me another. Of course I accept graciously, and when he asks if I would like to join him and his friends, well, it would be rude not to say yes…

I carry my glass over to the pool table, the barman looks at me with a question in his eyes, but it does not reach his mouth. As I walk, the jukebox starts to play Kylie and Nick Cave’s Where The Wild Roses Grow.

The boys of the group start to snigger as I join them. It becomes very apparent that whatever age they are, they are still just boys. I watch them play pool for a while. The brunette girl attempts to engage me in conversation, and she is a lovely young thing, so I play nicely and answer her questions. The blonde one just sits as far away from me without leaving the group flinging her sulky dirty looks at me at any given moment.

One of the young men approaches me laughing and asks me if I would like to play a game of pool. I smile and ask him, what if I am a hustler? I could take you for everything you have? He goes to walk away, thinking I won’t take him up on his offer. However, I follow him to the table and take the cue from his hands.

After beating him by making it look like a fluke, they push their star player to the table. This would be James, my boy full of innocent charm. He blushes as he comes towards me. I promise him I will be gentle with him. For now. And then I wipe the table with him barely getting a shot in.

At this the ice is well and truly broken, and I spend the rest of the evening in their pleasant, but exuberant company.

As the night goes on, the ambience of the bar changes. The lights go down, and the place becomes more intimate and perhaps a little more dangerous. The clientele becomes edgier and hard, but my little group of children are too busy playing to notice. The brunette girl goes home with one of the lads who I presume is her boyfriend, and I see that the little sulky blonde one has given up on my boy and is trying her luck at the bar with my favourite bartender.

This leaves me with my boy. The remainder of his friends see that he is otherwise occupied and go home. The boy and I talk about anything and everything. His delightful chatter rains down on my ears and I smile at him as he talks.

I look at my watch as my instincts tell me that it is approaching closing time. I look at the bar, and can no longer see the blonde girl. I presume that she has left.

The boy asks me if I wish to continue the night with him. I tell him that I had already made my decision about that when he walked into the bar. He picks up my coat and helps me into it, surprising me a little with such gentlemanly manners. He finishes his drink, takes me hand and leads me out of the doorway.

The bar is set back somewhat from the main road, and the approach leading to it is insufficiently lit for safety. My young man uses this to his advantage to pull me close to him as we walk along the pavement.

There is a small alleyway to the side. He pulls me in, and looks down at me, smiling with that well known look in his eye. I raise my head to his, and feel his exploring lips and then tongue touch my mouth. I place my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me, feeling his body next to mine. He hungrily kisses down my jaw line, and to my neck. I respond in kind and run my fingers through his hair.

I reach his neck, and start to kiss it as fervently as he has just kissed mine. I hear his moan of pleasure as I nip him gently with my teeth. He doesn’t notice when the nips become sharper and deeper, and I hear his breath shudder as I start to take his blood. I hear music playing from the jukebox. It is the last song of the night. The lyrics of Queen’s Who Wants To Live Forever has always haunted me…

Song lyrics that accompany this story.

Hotel California" by The Eagles Ó The Eagles

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain,
'Please bring me my wine'
He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine'
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the night man,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!'

Soft Cell – Tainted Love Ó Marc Almond

Sometimes I feel I've got to

Run away I've got to

Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

(chorus)
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Oh...tainted love
Tainted love

Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want IT any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
And you’ll think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way

(chorus...)

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Tainted love, tainted love (x2)
Touch me baby, tainted love (x2)
Tainted love (x3)

Nick Cave and Kylie Minogue – Where The Wild Roses Grow Ó Nick Cave & Kylie

CHORUS:

They call me The Wild Rose
But my name was Elisa Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Elisa Day

From the first day I saw her I knew she was the one
As she stared in my eyes and smiled
For her lips were the colour of the roses
They grew down the river, all bloody and wild

When he knocked on my door and entered the room
My trembling subsided in his sure embrace
He would be my first man, and with a careful hand
He wiped the tears that ran down my face

CHORUS

On the second day I brought her a flower
She was more beautiful than any woman I'd seen
I said, 'Do you know where the wild roses grow
So sweet and scarlet and free?'

On the second day he came with a single rose
Said: 'Will you give me your loss and your sorrow?'
I nodded my head, as I laid on the bed
He said, 'If I show you the roses will you follow?'

CHORUS

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me with a rock in his fist

On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow
And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief
As I kissed her goodbye, I said, 'All beauty must die'
And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth

CHORUS

Queen – Who Wants To Live Forever

Words and music by Brian May

There's no time for us
There's no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away
From us

Who wants to live forever
Who wants to live forever....?

There's no chance for us
Its all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us

Who wants to live forever
Who wants to live forever?

Who dares to love forever?
When love must die

But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever
And we can love forever
Forever is our today
Who wants to live forever
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today

Who waits forever anyway?

101/1001 Days Countdown.

2011-01-14T17:02:00.001Z

Approximately 1 year and 3 months left to go...

Hmmmmm...

I need to pull my finger out.

New Job

2011-01-14T14:42:00.000Z

No. I haven't got one. But the time is fast approaching when I am going to have to seriously start thinking about it. I am in the process of trying to open some more doors for myself on that front, (maths GCSE in June, which could lead onto PGCE etc.) But that is only one path, and as per usual, I am having my doubts about whether that is the path for me.

I really dislike being pushed into doing stuff, and people assuming that I am going to do this, that and the other. I do feel a little bit like that at the moment. So many expectations of me to become a teacher, because apparently I would be good at it. But then I see the political nonsense that my mum and Neil have to deal with and it just makes me want to run away screaming.

I really don't know what else to do though. I am too bloody worthy for my own good sometimes, as I want to do something useful and interesting.

Blah.

Crossposted from another of my blogs.

2011-01-11T18:26:00.003Z

Magaly from Pagan Culture wrote an interesting blogpost about Dark Magick. It reminded me of a post I wrote in response to something a few months back. I don't believe in black or white magick. Magick in itself is completely amoral. It is the intent of the magickian that "colours" it. I could send out the most "loving gift" with the intent of completely messing up someone's life. (Think of the gift of Fertility. To someone who really doesn't want to have that kind of responsibilty.) Or I could use some really hardcore scary hexing to get rid of the cancer of a loved one...

Some crap happened to us a while ago. Nothing really that serious, just nasty. I posted about it elsewhere, and had a comment about how I shouldn't do anything about it, that Karma would sort it out, etc, etc... Then on another forum I am on, said poster asked a community we are on. "Is there a place for retaliation magic in Goddess Spirituality?

Nemesis, Erinyes, Durga, Kali, The Morrighan, Arianrhod all suggest to me that there is a place for this kind of magick and I personally think it is quite blinkered to feel that there aren't times and situations when action and response is required that perhaps isn't as "nice" as people would like it to be. The idea that this propagates misery, Badness, and all things horrible is very simplistic and doesn't take into account that sometimes Not Nice things should to be done. There is a reason why Revenge Is Best Served Cold. It means that it should be thought through, all pros and cons considered, all repercussions and consequences realised and then the decision is made whether to follow through.

I can do it, and I will do it if I have to.

I agree with a lot of what The Witch of Forest Grove has to say about it.

A Meme that is doing the rounds.

2011-01-10T17:23:00.002Z

B A S I C S //

Do you have a magical/Pagan name? Yes, although I don't tend to use it that often.

What does it mean? Something personal.

How did you find Paganism? Always into the weird and wonderful, but started getting more serious in my teens, visiting sacred sites and the like. Realised that it was a label that I could work with, even if it wasn't completely accurate.

How long have you been practicing? About 20 odd years now. Which is a long time considering.

Solitary or group practitioner? Over the years, a bit of both.

What is your path? Mine.

Are you out of the broom closet? Half and half. Most people know, I don't lie about it, but a select few people (family members) don't know, as they don't need to know.

D E I T Y //

Who is your patron God? Don't really have one. The God I associate the most with would be Cernunnous.

Who is your patron Goddess? Again, if I was to have them, they would be Brigid and Blodeuwedd

What Gods do you worship? I don't worship any Gods. I revere and respect Them and the relationships with them.

Do you fear darkly aspected Gods/Goddess, or rather respect them? Umm, well since I am not going to piss them off, why do I need to be scared of them.

Do you worship the Christian God? No. Why would I want to do that? :P

Do you ever worship animals? No. I respect them and their sacredness, but not worship.

Or plants? Ditto

N A T U R E //

Do you regularly commune with nature? I try to, but probably not as much as I would like and should. (Other than being part of it, iykwim.)

Ever walked barefoot in the woods? Yes.

Taken a camping trip just to talk to nature? Yes.

Describe the moment you felt closest to Mother Earth? Probably on holiday in Cornwall or Wales in the beaches.

Do you have a familiar? No. I would be willing to have an Animal partner that wished to join me in my Workings, (which is probably what most people consider to be a familiar) but the actual meaning of a Familiar is a spirit you have conjured up to aid you, and it can inhabit the body of an animal that you have used for that purpose. Not really very nice.

Have you ever called upon the powers of an animal in ritual? No, actually I don't think I have.

Or a plant? Yes.

Do you hug trees? Yes.

Give them gifts? Yes.

What is your favourite flower to work with? I don't really have a favourite. It would all depend on what I was doing, and why I was doing it. I do however have a softspot for tulips.

What is your favourite tree to work with? I do like Oak a lot.

W H E E L . O F . T H E . Y E A R //

What is your favourite holiday? I don't really have one. I do like Samhain and Yule though.

What is your least favourite holiday? Probably Midsummer. I never seem to get organised to do anything for it.

Have you ever held a ritual on a holiday? Yes.

Ever taken a day off work to celebrate a Pagan holiday? Nope.

Do you celebrate Yule on the 21 rather than the 25? Of course.

Have you ever felt the veil thin? Yes.

Ever danced the Maypole? No.

Know what the Maypole symbolizes? Yes.

How do you usually celebrate the Pagan holidays? I always acknowledge them, but I don't make enough of a big deal out of them as I should. It is something I am working on.

D I V I N A T I O N //

Do you use Tarot? Yes.

Do you use runes? No, but I do want to learn them. (And now I have the tools to make my own!)

Do you use a pendulum? Yes. One of the easiest forms of divination that there is. I have been doing it since I was about 12, as I remember doing it in the girls changing room at my Lower School.

Do you use dowsing rods? No, I have a pair, but haven't tried them yet.

Do you use astrology? Sort of. I use Natal charts and the like, but the daily horoscopes are a load of old hokum.

Any other form of divination? Oracle cards. And I would like to make Witch Stones.

S P E L L S //

What was the first spell you did? I actually can't remember that.

What was the latest? Probably one to do with Neil's work.

Ever done a love spell? Yes.

A job spell? Yes.

A healing spell? Yes.

What was the most powerful spell you’ve ever performed? Powerful is a loaded word, but the one with the most drastic results, was one for a friend who was being sexually harassed and bullied in a very nasty way. Perpetrator lost their job, and got deported...!

What deities do you usually call on? Umm, depends on what I am doing.

C R Y P T O Z O O L O G Y //

Do you believe in Vampires? Not in the literal "I vant to suck your blood" sense.

Werewolves? Nope.

Shapeshifters? Meh.

Elves? Yes, in the sense they are a type of Fae.

Faeries? Yes.

Dragons? Yes.

Nymphs? Dunno.

Sprites? Type of Fae.

Mermaids? Type of Fae.

Sirens? Dunno.

Satyrs? Dunno.

Ever “seen” any of the above? Yes.

Ever talked to any of the above? Yes.

Ever used any of the above in magic? Nope.

Do you have one of them as a personal guardian? No.

R A N D O M //

Do you see a rabbit, a man or a woman in the moon? Umm, none of those.

Own a cat? Own? No, I have a cat who shares my home with me.

When you meditate, what does your happy place look like? A woodland glade with pool.

Do you work with Chakras? Not as much as I should

Do you believe in past lives? Yes.

If so, describe a few of them... Apparently I was a Tavern Wench waiting for my long lost Love to come home from sea. And the other I was a Priestess on a Matrifocal, Polyamorous island. (I like that one!)

Do you believe in soul mates? Yes. I think you can have lots.

Do you have a spirit guide? Don't know. I haven't really ever investigated.

Is it always love and light? Yes. And darkness, and chocolate.

Typical Hysterical Jugglings and Waffle

2011-01-06T21:54:00.003Z

I want to be Vegan. I am pretty much Vegetarian most of the time (although I had some major slippage over the holidays, but am getting back on track now.) I don't eat dairy whatever, as it does Bad Things to me, so when combined with the veggism, I am about 65% on the way to being fully vegan, since I don't eat that many eggs.

Why I would like to be Vegan.

I think it is an ethical thing to do. The meat and dairy/egg industry is not nice in any way, shape or form. By abstaining from their products, I am no longer condoning an industry that has a devastating environmental effect on our world. Neither am I part of a business that sees animals/meat as a commodity to be bought and sold, and treated as a Thing rather than a Living Being.

It seems to be a healthier option for me. I take care over what I eat, and I plan and create interesting menus. If the added bonus that it helps me lose weight, then cool bananas as well.

However, I have several dilemmas that I am working through. As a Witch, I am very aware that Death is an integral part of Life, and that I, as a human being cannot survive in this world without something sacrificing its life for me. Whether that be plant or animal. Seeing the world as all interlinked and all Life being part of each other, on a spiritual level, how can I rationalise one form of Life over another?

On an environmental level, agriculture is not always the best use for land. Although we have taken raising animals for meat to an obscene extreme, there is an argument that says we need a certain amount of animals on the land to maintain the natural environment. Think sheep grazing on lowlands, they eat the grass that if left to its own devices would decimate the local flora. They are a part of the "circle of life" and to remove them from the ecosystem (which is the ultimate conclusion to veganism) then that ecosystem is destroyed.

What do I do with all my old animal products? Make up and toiletries with honey in them. Leather shoes, bags, boots, coats, etc... Wool? The list goes on and on.

I am not a WhiteLighter Witch. I am a Sweat, Spit, Blood and Shit kinda Witch. I am not scared of getting my hands dirty when I need to. So where does this leave Veganism?

New Year Blogpost

2011-01-04T11:35:00.004Z

It has to be done really. Even if I don't have masses to say at the moment. Crimble and my birthday were a plague ridden washout. It could have been lovely, since my BF came over with her zillions of children on Crimble Eve Eve, but Hubs and I came down with plague. I think they had a good time, but I was too sick to be as involved as I wanted to be. When my parents got back from their week away on Boxing Day I was very relieved as it meant my mum could take over being hostess with the mostest.

We were meant to be going to a NYE party, but although we were better (antibiotics ftw) we weren't back to normal, and I think the trip in and out of central London would have killed us. So instead Neil watched Van Helsing, and I went to bed at 10pm and completely bypassed NY. Whoop...I am so hardcore...

NYs Resolutions have been made, but they aren't very exciting. The main one being as normal, to get healthy. We eat too much takeaway (takeout) because of lack of organisation, energy and time. It isn't good for us, and makes for some very bad eating habits.

I need to get more Witchy, and do Stuff. I have been a bit of an ArmChair Pagan of late, which I don't want to be.

I need to get on with more of my 1001/101 list. I am slowly getting through it, but it is still definitely a work in progress.

There is other stuff going on in my head, but I am still processing it through. I am aware that a lot of it is probably PreMenstral Navel Gazing, but we shall see how it goes.

I want...I want...I want...

2010-12-03T17:07:00.003Z

These shoes are Made Of Awesome...

Hot Pink Leopard Spotted High Heeled Mary Janes!

Very impractical for a marriedmumof2, but I don't GIVVASHIT! (Sorry) I loves them!

And if we had the spare monies, I would so get them!

Remembrance Day

2010-11-11T11:15:00.003Z

I once got slammed down in a forum for pondering over the significance and symbolism of the date chosen to be Remembrance Day. Okay, I know that the bods of the armed forces of the time wouldn't have considered the relevance of the season, but I personally feel that the link between Remembrance Day, Bonfire Night, with Samhain etc is there, and is why we hold onto these festivals. Call it genetic collective memory or call it Bollocks, but to me, it is so poignant that we remember our lost dead at the time of year where we remember our dead.I once got slammed down in a forum for pondering over the significance and symbolism of the date chosen to be Rem

embrance Day. Okay, I know that the bods of the armed forces of the time wouldn't have considered the relevance of the season, but I personally feel that the link between Remembrance Day, Bonfire Night, with Samhain etc is there, and is why we hold onto these festivals. Call it genetic collective memory or call it Bollocks, but to me, it is so poignant that we remember our lost dead at the time of year where we remember our dead. once got slammed down in a forum for pondering over the significance and symbolism of the date chosen to be Remembrance Day. Okay, I know that the bods of the armed forces of the time wouldn't have considered the relevance of the season, but I personally feel that the link between Remembrance Day, Bonfire Night, with Samhain etc is there, and is why we hold onto these festivals. Call it genetic collective memory or call it Bollocks, but to me, it is so poignant that we remember our lost dead at the time of year where we remember our dead.

Bracken the Labrador (22/03/1997 - 03/11/2010)

2010-11-04T13:09:00.001Z

My mum and dad had to put my old dog to sleep yesterday. I am very sad, even though it was relatively expected. He was such a loved member of our family. My kids loved him, my husband loved him. I remember picking him up from the breeders as a 9 week old puppy. He was all squidgy and full of beans, running around like a loon in my little courtyard, until he just plonked himself next to me and fell into blissful puppy sleep.

He would eat my shoes. One pair of uncomfortable sandals that I wasn't too upset about, but then my fave pair of sexy date ankle boots. And I truly mean eat them. Not just chew them up into bits, these shoes were gone.

When we first brought my son home from the hospital, he loudly woofed at my husband when he went to pick him up. Bracken obviously felt that only my mum and I were allowed to touch this new "puppy".

If you left food anywhere near him, he would try and nab it.

He wasn't allowed to sit on the sofa, and was too big to do it anyway. But it didn't stop him occasionally sneaking up onto my mum's lap until she was swamped by this massive dog grinning like mad. Sometimes when we would stay over and sleep on the sofabed in the living room. At some point in the night he would realise we were still there, and shove his way into the room and lie down next to the bed. In the morning we would be woken by a cold wet nose stuck in our faces and treated to a smellydogbreath lick! Sometimes I would let him into the sofabed, and he would wiggle with glee until my mum would come in and look at him pretending to be cross with him and he would wiggle more and wag his tail like mad at her.

He was so full of love and mischief and I really miss him.

(Picture isn't actually Bracken, but looks a hell of a lot like him)

Divination

2010-10-18T19:06:00.001+01:00

From The Gaian Tarot

http://disenchantedenchantress.dreamwidth.org/24512.html

Blodeuwedd

2010-10-12T20:52:00.001+01:00

Blodeuwedd's Song

Rowan Fairgrove

On the wing once again on the Path of Stars
The Old Man raging full and great.
He can't believe that he's not in charge;
That I control my wings and fate.

At the time of the taking of the King
'Tis I who hold the Spear of Light.
My hand is sure though my heart's breaking.
I know my destiny is right.

The constant in this world is change,
The cycle of the moon and womb.
But men will build and defy and rage
Refusing to embrace their doom.

As Woman and as Owl and Queen,
As Priestess of the night and stars,
They curse me where my shadow's seen
But my dance goes on across the years.

Blodeuwedd

2010-10-04T19:39:00.004+01:00

She seems to be popping up all over the place at the moment. And I have always had a soft spot for her ever since my first Goddess Conference. (I attempted to dress up as Her at the Ball.) I always felt that there was more to Her story than just the cliched betrayer she is portrayed to be.

BLODEUWEDD

Within the Celtic Tradition, storytelling has long been a favored occupation and, generally speaking, the longer and more intricate the story, the more revered the legend and the teller. Long held as the embodiment of most ancient Welsh legends is the Mabinogion. The story of Branwen is contained therein, as is the legend of Blodeuwedd. In order to offer some sort of clarity to these legends it is necessary to give you some background in the history of the Celts and, therefore, shed some light on the intricacies of the stories. The Celts, historically, were matrilineal; you were born to your mother’s line, not your father’s. Kingship, therefore, landed upon the son of the king’s sister and not upon the offspring of the king and the queen. Very often, too, the queens were the actual power, with her spouse being a Duke of War, rather than a true king. In order to be a king, one had to marry the land in order to demonstrate his devotion to the sovereignty. Often, this marriage was symbolic and accomplished by the practice of the Great Rite between the proposed king and a priestess of the Goddess. The commission of this act would ensure the king’s love for the land and a lifelong desire to defend her as he would his wife. It is also important to note that there is no Goddess of Love, such as Ishtar, Aphrodite and Venus in other cultures, but there were, throughout the legends, Maiden Goddesses made of flowers or fruit. The most important aspect of the Goddess is triune in nature - the Maiden, the Mother and the Crone - and most legends involve three Goddesses representing these three aspects.

The Legend of Blodeuwedd is also the story of Llew’s struggle for his kingship which was averted and made more difficult by the Goddess Arianrhod who tried Her best to prevent Llew, Her son, his birth-right due to the shame brought upon Her by his companions. (Another story which will be told later.) In short, Arianrhod stated that he would not receive a name, unless it be from Her; he would not receive his arms, unless it be from Her; and, he could never marry a mortal woman. Thus, he could not become king unless it be through Her auspices. In order to assure that Llew would survive long enough to attain his kingship, some magick was given to him in the form of the circumstances of his death. As has been typical of the Celts, his death could only be accomplished through a set of very unlikely and almost preposterous circumstances. He could not be killed indoors or out, on horse or on foot, and the spearhead capable of killing him had to be cast during a sacred period of time. Arianrhod was tricked into giving Llew his name and his arms but the larger problem of having a wife, which would assert his right to the land, was accomplished through the magick of his cousins, Math and Gwydion, who created Blodeuwedd from the flowers of the Oak, Broom and Meadowsweet. Due to the nature of Her Birth, Blodeuwedd - whose name means either ‘Flower Face’ or the ancient name for the Owl - and represents the Earth in full bloom. Through their marriage, Llew’s requirement of marrying the land and thus, his Sovereignty is completed. One day, Llew goes hunting, leaving Blodeuwedd alone with Her ladies in the castle. A young huntsman, Gronw, later seeks shelter and he and Blodeuwedd experience love at first sight. Wanting nothing more than to be together, Gronw persuades Blodeuwedd to discover the improbable circumstances surrounding Llew’s death, an act he would help to accomplish. The plan made, Gronw departs from Blodeuwedd and they remain separate for a long period of time, during which Blodeuwedd feigns anxiety concerning Llew’s death. Eventually, Her pleading persuades Llew to demonstrate these very circumstances in order to allay Her fears by showing Her his death could not be easily accomplished. They prepare a bath on a riverbank, covering it with a thatched roof, being neither indoors nor out. As Llew stands with one foot upon the edge of the tub and the other upon the back of a goat, Gronw throws the specially-made spear, hitting Llew in the side. Llew immediately turns into an eagle and flies off, later discovered and nursed back to health by his cousins, Math and Gwydion. When the two lovers are found, Gronw is killed and Blodeuwedd turned into an owl.

Due to the very circumstances of Her Birth, the actions of Blodeuwedd may be seen in a more sympathetic light. She was created from the flowers of a very powerful Tree - the Oak - and from flowers of an explicitly healing nature,in order to give power to Llew and to be able to continually heal and renew him. She is never asked whether She loves him or desires to marry him. She was created for his purposes, solely to assure his right to rule the land. Her Own desires are impossible to achieve while Llew lives and She is often seen as the epitome of non-assertive femininity, fickleness and the faithless wife, using the passion of two men for Her to seal the doom of both. In truth, Her supposed treachery creates the very conditions to enable Llew to experience the ritual death and rebirth commonly required of the Druidic priesthood, thus ensuring his kingship. Blodeuwedd is seen as a part of his hard and difficult destiny. Throughout Celtic legend, otherworldly women are created and utilized to represent the Land, which is definitely feminine in nature. Owl, the totemic representation of Blodeuwedd, signifies the complete transformation of the initiate as represented by Llew‚s virtual death and subsequent healing. She is signified by the Empress card of the Tarot. She is a Goddess of emotions, representing the matrix that reforms transpersonal and universal energies into well-defined life force. She is also the Maiden Goddess of initiation ceremonies and is known as the Ninefold Goddess of the Western Isles of Paradise. Flowers, the wisdom of innocence, Lunar Mysteries and initiation are Her provinces.

Winter Cymraes
©1994

Blodeuwedd Rising (Song for Hazel)

Summer 2007

by Jacqui Woodward Smith

Blodeuwedd, Magdalene of Springtime
Sweet flower face with wings of snow
You are the gateway to the seasons
Fierce in passion, eyes aglow

And You will rise in fearless beauty
Afraid of You, they change Your face
But we remember Your true nature;
Reclaim Your love, Reclaim Your place

Defiled and changed and called a whore
If whore You are then so am I
As whore I'll be Your temple priestess
And You will give me wings to fly

Reclaim the whore and rise in beauty
With Goddess spirit deep within
Knowing our own Goddess nature
How dare they name our passion sin!

No one can shackle or control You
Owl of Secrets, flying free
No chains to bind Your hungry spirit
With You beside, no chains on me

And we will rise in raging beauty
To be what we've been all along
When we can stand alone as equals
We will sing Blodeuwedd's song

They left us here in silent fury
Thought that they had won the game
But as we reclaim our ancient birthright
Blodeuwedd will rise again

And we will rise in naked beauty
Revealing all we have to give
Loving in the ways we choose to
Deciding how we want to live

They try to make us pretty blossoms
Deny our claws, deny our power
But we must claim our truth and freedom
To choose the owl, to choose the flower

And we will rise in powerful beauty
Surrender to Blodeuwedd's cry
She draws us to the path of moonlight
On owl wings we must learn to fly

No one has the right to harm us
To name and shame, abuse and scar us
Call us hag and call us bitch.
Reclaim the owl, reclaim the witch!

And we will rise in all our beauty
For we have heard Flower Face's call
Our bodies glowing with our passion
Both owls and flowers, Priestesses all!

©Jacqui Woodward Smith

Not sure where the image of Blodeuwedd is from. But it's lovely.

From The Wild Hunt blog.

2010-10-04T10:48:00.001+01:00

Empowering A Culture of Suicide and Self-Hate.

What would YOU call it then?

2010-10-03T16:35:00.003+01:00

If an object or body part is inserted into a woman's vagina without her permission, what would you call it?

Rape?

What if she was giving birth at the time?

Would you still call it rape?

What WOULD you call it then? Please remember that rape isn't about sex, it's about power, the power over someone else.

(And yes, I am sure that it would horrify those medics involved to think that they may be participating in something as abhorrent as rape, but seriously people, when (why) do a woman's rights to say yes or no to something end when she is pregnant/giving birth?)

WTF?

2010-09-24T13:14:00.003+01:00

In the USA, a woman is executed, although she didn't actually murder anyone...

I appreciate that I won't know all the details in this matter, but essentially it is reported that Teresa Lewis has been executed for her part in the murder of her husband and stepson. However she didn't actually kill them. And the TWO MEN that did got life imprisonment...

I am not saying she shouldn't have been punished for her part in this awful event. But SHE DIDN'T PULL THE TRIGGER. SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE!

She had a limited mental capacity, one of the men in his suicide note wrote that HE instigated it all, and she didn't kill anyone.

But she has been executed all the same...

Why?

I Can't Git No Satisfaction...

2010-09-06T13:22:00.003+01:00

When are we truly satisfied with our lot?

I can look at my life, and quite frankly I KNOW I have a lot that others don't have, and I am truly grateful for it. But there is this persistent niggle of dissatisfaction. It isn't really that I want what other people have, as on a material level I really don't care about those things. But there is something I don't have, and I want it.

Is the problem that I don't really know what it is though? Is it because I am unsatisfied with who I am? Do I really not like myself that much? (I don't think that is true. I mean, we all have those moments, but deep down, I think I am pretty alright actually.)

Is it because there are things that I thought I would achieved in my life by now, and I haven't? Perhaps, but there are things I have achieved that I would have never imagined doing, so it isn't just that.

I have now come back to this post a day later, and re-reading I do wonder what my problem is? I do have a tendency to pick at things that shouldn't be picked at, and then wonder why it is all coming apart. But there is something going on in my head that I need to get through. So please bear with me, while I sort it out..

Frozen Lyrics

2010-08-30T23:04:00.001+01:00

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken
When your heart's not open

Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

Now there's no point in placing the blame
And you should know I suffer the same
If I lose you
My heart will be broken

Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen
When your heart's not open

Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

If I could melt your heart

Madonna - Frozen

2010-08-28T15:59:00.001+01:00

I had forgotten how much I like this video.

Holiday part 2

2010-08-26T15:34:00.002+01:00

We spent Sunday afternoon on the beach as the weather was nice. Owen and Josie had great fun paddling and making sandcastles. Well, I made the sandcastles and Josie the Destroyer stomped all over them! Neil and Owen went rockpooling and found a crab. (Photos are on FB).

Some sadness though, as apparently there was a beached whale at the beach as we left. I have looked it up to see what the news said about it, but if it was the news I found, I won't repeat it as it didn't end well, and was very sad. Fortunately the kids didn't notice, so it didn't put a downer on their day.

Met up with my friends who I was handfasting the next day, and drove to the beach where the ritual was to be. We chose a lovely spot in some sand dunes, sheltered from the elements and very pretty.

The next day was a bit of a rush getting ready and back down to the beach. It was a lovely sunny but rather windy day, so we were without candles.

The ritual itself is as follows,

THE RITUAL

I cast this circle to create sacred space
For the Handfasting of ........... and .............
I banish all that is unwanted and impure
That only those with Love in the hearts and soul may enter

CALL THE QUARTERS
I call the Spirits of the North
To join us to celebrate and bless this Union
Between ............ and ............
May you bring your Groundedness and Fertility to this couple.

I call the Spirits of the East
To join us to celebrate and bless this Union
Between .......... and ..........
May you bring your Powers of Clear Communication to this couple.

I call the Spirits of the South
To join us to celebrate and bless this Union
Between .......... and .........
May you bring your Passion and Vitality to this couple.

I call the Spirits of the West
To join us to celebrate and bless this Union
Between .......... and .........
May you bring Intuition and Friendship to this couple.

INVITE AND CALL THE PTBs
I call on you
Sacred Creatrix,
She who birthed the Universe
She whose love is eternal and has no limits
Maiden, Lover, Mother, Queen and Crone
Be with us now, and bless us all,
As we celebrate the Union of ............ and ..........

I call on you.
The Horned Lover,
He who gives us our purpose of Being and Lust for Life.
He who ignites us all.
Youth, Lover, Father, Consort and Sage
Be with us now, and bless us all.
As we celebrate the Union of ........... and .........

ADDRESS THE GROUP.
We have gathered today to witness and celebrate the Handfasting of .......... and ....... A handfasting is an ancient celebration of Union in front of family, friends and the Powers That Be. Unlike a marriage, there is no formal script or rules to follow, but it is a Sacred Agreement made between consenting adults who wish to commit their lives to each other.

Their hands are bound together as a symbol of their Union. It is a Union of Trust, Love, Lust and Friendship. (The key ingredients to a good relationship.) It is a bond that is placed with Love and Choice and represents Two Lives Living As One.

CALL .............. AND .......... TO THE CIRCLE

.................. and .............
You have come to proclaim your Love and Intention to create a Sacred Union in front of your Family, your Friends and most importantly your Gods. Do you enter with Love in your Hearts and Free Will in your Soul?

ADDRESS EVERYONE
............. and ........... have invited us to share their Handfasting. I ask you to stand as we ask each Element for their blessing on this Union.

WALK TO THE NORTHERN ELEMENT.
They ask,
“Will your Love survive the times of stillness and restriction?”
........ reply,
“Yes”
They say.
Then accept the blessing of the Element of Earth in this place of Winter. May your Union be strong and fruitful.

WALK TO THE EASTERN ELEMENT
They ask,
“Will your Love survive the clear light of day?”
.......reply,
“Yes”
They say,
“Then accept this blessing of the Element of Air in this place of Spring. May your marriage be blessed by the light of every new dawn.”

WALK TO THE SOUTHERN ELEMENT
They ask,
“Will your Love survive the harsh fires of Change?”
.......reply,
“Yes”
They say,
“Then accept this blessing of the Element of Fire in this place of Summer. May your home be filled with Warmth.”

WALK TO THE WESTERN ELEMENT (?)
They ask,
“Will your Love survive the ebb and flow of feeling?
.........reply,
“Yes”
They say,
“Then accept this blessing of the Element of Water in this place of Autumn . May your marriage be filled with Understanding and Support.”

WALK BACK TO THE CENTRE.

.............. and ............., the Elements have blessed you and your marriage. Now, in front of the Universe and all that dwells within and without, you are about to join your love, lives and souls together in Sacred Union.

Are you both willing to do this?

(YES)

(This is where the couple say their vows to each other.)

I use this cord as a symbol of your Blessed Union.
It holds you tightly but freely, supporting but not restricting.
As you both hold each other.

GODDESS, I ask you to bless your children,
who have come here to show and celebrate their commitment to each other.
May their love grow and be an example of True Love to us all.
Bless them with your bounty,
Bless them with your fruitfulness,
Show them your love through their love for each other and to their children.
BLESSED BE.

HORNED ONE, I ask you to bless your children,
As they come before you to share their love and commitment to each other.
May their Passion for each other never fade.
Bless them with your Energy
Bless them with your Passion and Vitality
Show them your Love through their love for each other and to their children.
BLESSED BE.

EXCHANGE RINGS, EAT AND DRINK OF SAME CAKE AND GLASS.
F&F TO HAVE A TOAST AT SOME TIME.

I declare that ........... and .......... are joined in Marriage.
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years,
May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth.

As a symbol of the start of their new lives together, ........... and .......... shall now jump over the Broomstick and enter into that new world as One.

JUMP OVER BROOMSTICK.

You are now HUSBAND AND WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Toast again to ........... and .........

I ask that we depart from this place with the love and joy that this Union has created, and celebrate all of the love that we have in our lives. Remember that we love, and are loved, and this is truly what is celebrated today…..

We now give thanks and bide farewell to the Elements and PTBs that have honoured with their presence during this rite.

Beloved Lady, and Blessed Lord.
We thank you both for your presence and blessings of this Union
We bide you farewell with Love and Honour in our hearts for you always.
Be with us always and forever.
Blessed Be.

Elements and Spirits of the West
We thank you for your presence and your blessing.
We bid you farewell with Love and Honour in our hearts
Blessed Be.

Elements and Spirits of the South
We thank you for your presence and your blessing.
We bid you farewell with Love and Honour in our hearts
Blessed Be.

Elements and Spirits of the East
We thank you for your presence and your blessing.
We bid you farewell with Love and Honour in our hearts
Blessed Be.

Elements and Spirits of the North.
We thank you for your presence and your blessing.
We bid you farewell with Love and Honour in our hearts
Blessed Be.

I close this circle
May the love and blessings it enclosed be spread around us all.
BLESSED BE TO ONE AND ALL.

We spent the rest of the day on the beach with my friends and their extended family. The children had a great time playing together, and Neil got a bit toasted by the Sun. We got home about 7/8pm ish and pretty much all fell into bed.

Back from Kernow (Cornwall)

2010-08-22T18:04:00.003+01:00

We are back from our week alway in Cornwall. It was a lovely week, although rain and PMT did put a bit of a cloud over the latter end of the week. But only a little one. We stayed on a proper Cornish working farm, in what we think were converted stone Workers' Cottages. Very nice when it was dry, but once it started raining, they got damper and damper. They had 2 mental dogs, a border collie called Bess, and a 10 week old spaniel that hadn't been named yet!

The journey down was an absolute nightmare, and I am really glad that we made the decision to break the journey into two, by staying at a hotel in Ilchester, near Yeovil, Somerset. (In fact if you go to their website, that table is where we ate! :P) What should have been a 3 hour journey took 6 hours, and then the second half of the journey which was meant to be about 2 and a half hours took another 6 hours. To say I was sick of that car by the time we got there was an understatement to say the least.

However the sunshine made up for it, and we spent a few lovely days on the beach catching up with my college friend and her extended family. I did her and her man's handfasting which was a success (phew!) and everyone seemed enjoy and appreciate it, and ignore the few fumbles!

Unfortunately as I said, the weather turned, and I got cold and tired. We visited a couple of places that were meant to be good for bad weather but basically they were pants. A "Cornish Cider Barn" was nothing more than a glorified off license, and Roskilly's ice cream farm probably would have been better in the sunshine.

Read a lot. My mum splurged out on The Morganville Vampires series, and they made for an enjoyable takeyourbrainout read.

But now we are back home. Tired and a bit achey from all the travelling. Will possibly update a bit more later.

Serious Slumpage.

2010-08-04T17:43:00.002+01:00

I am now entering the comedown stage of the awesomeness that was Sonisphere. You know, the bit where you realise that all that anticipation and enjoyment is now over and done with and we are back to mundane reality.

I know that I am going to Cornwall in a couple of weeks, but if I am honest, it doesn't have the same level of excitement that Sonisphere had.

So yeah, crappy mood has descended upon me. I know the reasons why. I just wish the emotional response to it all wasn't so clichéd. (It doesn't help that I am unlikely to see the friend that we went with for a really long time again, and I miss them lots when I don't see them.)

Back. Tired. Happy.

2010-08-03T16:07:00.002+01:00

WOW!

Sonisphere was truly MAGNIFICENT!

But you don't want to know what colour the bath water was once I got out of it when we were back home! :P

My inner RawkChick is sated for the time being.

However, one or two things from my 101/1001 list have been accomplished. :D

95) Go to a concert of someone familiar SONISPHERE
96) Go to a concert of someone completely random SONISPHERE

Seriously exciting!

2010-07-22T16:05:00.005+01:00

I am going to be doing the Handfasting of my bestest friend evah, and her lovely man

IN LESS THAN FOUR WEEKS!

Fortunately I had a suspicion that I would be asked, so have been sorting it out in my head already.

But the thing that seems to be the most pressing at the moment is, WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?

(I have my priorities straight, oh yes I do!)

Annie Lennox - Love Song for a Vampire.

2010-07-21T18:27:00.003+01:00

On the 1st of August it will be our TWELFTH wedding anniversary!

This was/is our wedding song.

I iz a Rawk Chick!

2010-07-20T13:41:00.005+01:00

In little over a week, I am off to THIS. I am so looking forward to it and rocking out all over the place. I haven't seriously had a Great Big Let It All Out moment, let alone weekend for SUCH A LONG TIME.

I will confess I am quite the control freak sometimes. Well, actually a lot of the time. Partly because I am a parent of young children, and you HAVE to be in control the whole damn time with them as it's your job. But even when I don't have to be, I still rein myself in a lot.

I am not sure why though. Is it because I know that if I let go then it might get a bit scary and wild? I keep lots of stuff tightly held up inside, because I don't want to scare people. I am a bit of a nutcase. Not in a psychotic way, just my view of life is often very different from other people. People share things with me, often expecting me to be appalled and shocked, and I am like, "whatever floats your boat". The real exception to that stuff that hurts other people. That ain't on. (And I mean hurt people in a malicious or illegal way, BDSM doesn't faze me whatsoever.)

Sometimes I do feel really confined into a little box of my own making. It isn't a horrible box that I need to escape from, just sometimes I need to get out and stretch myself and run around like a loon.

(More to come later. Maybe.)

Awesome Bloggings

2010-07-12T20:54:00.003+01:00

T. Thorn Coyle says Wise and Good Things. (As per usual!)

T. Thorn Coyle is a respected teacher and author of Kissing the Limitless and Evolutionary Witchcraft and hosts the popular Elemental Castings podcast series. Founder and head of Solar Cross Temple and Morningstar Mystery School, she has a spiritual direction and mind/body coaching practice that reaches people internationally.

Past entries.

2010-07-09T19:35:00.003+01:00

Anyone fancy reading through my past entries and a) telling me what a fantabulous and witty writer I truly am, and b) just commenting on things you might find interesting?

Pweety pweeeze wif sugah on top.

This isn't just a blatant "validate me" cry (well, it is a bit!) but when I updated my blog to the Intense Debate comments doobrywotsit, I lost all the comments I had.

Or would it be easier if I just posted some links of old entries of ones that I think people might find Interesting Thought-provoking, Funny, Insert Appropriate Adjective Of Your Choice?

Oh Muse, where art thou?

2010-07-06T18:10:00.004+01:00

I want to be an Artist.
I want to be Artistic.
It just isn't happening.

When I was at school, I loved art. (I still love art.) My art teacher was lovely and encouraging and all those good things that teachers should be. However when I reached GCSE age, I had a new teacher. He was not lovely and encouraging. He had his set favourites in his class, and I blatantly wasn't one of them. He absolutely sucked the joy out of me.

It has taken me literally years to recover. However, my problem is that the years of inactivity have taken its toll and I am quite frankly crap now. I tried drawing when I went away for the wedding a few weeks back, and actually got a bit upset about how rubbish I am now.

Now I know that I do have a bit of talent, buried somewhere. I can look back at my artwork from my school days, and see the talent there. But how do I get it back again?

(I know the answer, I just need to work through it and JUST DO IT!)

Your Inner Kiddo.

2010-07-04T17:02:00.002+01:00

Taken from here.

This is such a good idea. Too often we say things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to anyone else because it would be too mean. Why?

Watch this Vlog from Kris Carr of Crazy Sexy Life.

A-Z of why these cuts are mad

2010-06-28T12:39:00.005+01:00

We are going to hammered with some serious cuts to public spending. Basically the government is using our tax money to pay back our tax money that was used to bail out the banks when they screwed us over so monumentally. So we are having our money taken from us, to pay back the money that was taken from us...

INFORMATION FROM HERE...

a) the biggest waste in our economy is unemployment not spending
b) we’ve lower debt:GDP than most EU/G8 nations
c) the money is owed to us
d) the payoff on public services’s > our loan interest
e) Italy’s credit rating is far below ours but they only pay slightly more interest
f) where else will bond markets lend?
g) how can we have export led growth as the EU collapses
h) why is growth meant to be led by the banks?
i) raising the personal allowance gives more to the rich than the poor
j) VAT is the most regressive tax
k) what happened to green investment?
l) WTF is this I hear about first children only?
m) scrapping child trust funds while promising cuts to inheritance tax is fair?
n) cutting jobs hits the poor first (are you listening @guardian?)
o) we still remember you cut uni places – crushing a generation’s hopes
p) universities have the biggest jobs multiplier of anything, so cutting their funding is the thing most likely to cause a double dip
q) Tories have always opposed proper funding for public services
r) the long term economic costs of the human strife of austerity are huge
r) the deficit has already naturally dropped by more than Osborne said he wanted it to this year, & will half by 2015
s) taxes on the top take fewer jobs away
t) it took decades to build the public services he wants to ruin
u) the economists against this tend to be those who predicted this mess
v) what’s the point of a triple A rating if you can’t borrow in a 100 year recession?
w) our loans are very long term
x) we have big assets
y) the richest 1000 people have seen their wealth increase by 30% in a year – half the value of the deficit
z) Osborne is trying to save the economy by destroying the economy. That’s as crazy as it sounds. That is all

1st anniversary of 101 Things In 1001 Days.

2010-06-26T21:51:00.004+01:00

How is it going?

OUCH.

101 Things In 1001 Days

I have done SIX things. That is quite slack. That's just under 6%.

4) Investigate laser eye treatment. DONE - CAN'T HAVE IT, EYES TOO WONKY
7) Buy myself a decent pair of trainers. DONE - Bought MBTs
31) Start/join a Goddess group - DOING
59) Go to a Farmer's Market DONE - new one to go every other month at least
93) Go vegetarian for a month - DONE, AND STILL DOING
94) Go vegan for a week - DONE

I have one year and 9months to go. I SHALL GET OFF MY ARSE AND DO IT!

New Background

2010-06-22T16:35:00.002+01:00

I hope you like it. (You being the 3 people that read this blog! :P)

Make A Radical Change

2010-06-20T16:25:00.001+01:00

“Make a radical change in your lifestyle & begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances & yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, & conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, & hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new & different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security & adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning & its incredible beauty.” — Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild.

Oh yeah. And there's this too.

2010-06-17T16:30:00.000+01:00

OIL SPILLS IN NIGERIA

Uncomfortable posting.

2010-06-17T16:14:00.002+01:00

But I am gonna have to say this.

The oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico is a tragic, awful, indescribable horror. And BP should be held accountable, should be making more effort to clear up this catastrophic mess. We all, as citizens of this planet should be doing all we can to help out.

The US government is right in saying that BP should be held accountable and set money aside to deal with this.

However.

I have one word to say.

Bhopal.

That said, I don't blame the US people that a US company caused such devastation on foreign soil.

A Welcome Feel Good Post

2010-06-15T18:03:00.000+01:00

From coldblooded, unfeeling reptiles...

Really snoresome update.

2010-06-07T17:35:00.003+01:00

Couldn't think of a title, and general update is really boring. So random keys it is.

Since the last time I have updated, there hasn't been that much news. Am slowly, slowly getting the garden sorted, even if the slugs and snails have eaten one of my corguette plants. (Gits) Will send Hubs out for a crappy beer or something, and hopefully drown the buggers. So far I have french beans, runner beans, petit pois, corguettes, pumpkins, peppers, chillis, strawberries, raspberries, an apple tree, a pear tree (although those I don't think I will get any fruit from yet). I also have oregano, thyme, lovage, basil, parsley, chives, chamomile, lavender, rosemary and dill growing in various pots.

I need to clear up around the pond, and see if I can resurrect it. It would be lovely to have an actual pond, rather than the stagnant swamp I have at the mo. It has a buddlia at the back of it that I planted last year which is growing well, and I have some broken clay pots at the back as DIY toadhomes.

Other than that, the lawn is awful, with bare patches. But I will get there eventually.

Kiddywinks are well, Hubs is doing okay at work. They really do like him there which is always a bonus. However, we have come to the decision that we HAVE to be moving next year. It will either be because the maternity leave that Hubs is covering will finish and the woman will come back, which will be the end of the Christmas term. Or preferably, Hubs will take his current year 10s through year 11, and we will be moving in the summer hols. We still really have NO idea where, but we will just have to see where the jobs come up. Obviously we have preferences, but it is really just a case of wait and see.

Hubs' dad is still suffering, but he is off to his consultant tomorrow, so hopefully they will be able to offer him something that helps.

I was down in Cornwall the last weekend of May. It was lovely down there, just wish I could drive (and had a car) so could have got around more. However it was very peaceful, the B&B was nice, and we are hoping to get down there again for the Summer hols. My friend's wedding was lovely, but it was a bit weird not having Hubs and the kids there.

This weekend just gone, we went to the Colchester Mediaeval Faire (Oysterfaire) it was nice, but I think DD got a bit hot and tired, so was grumpier than I appreciated. The stuff there was really nice, and I could have bought lots of things, but since we really don't need any of it, have nowhere to put any of it, there was no real point. (Boooo) However we did get DS a Robin Hood outfit (it looks really cool) and DD had a Fair Maiden's headpiece thing. Didn't get anything for myself. Which was disappointing. However some of the stalls are online, so I will be perusing those while Hubs is in the mood for spending money! :D

Perhaps at some point I will have some interesting and outstanding news...This isn't one of them.

Many of Horror - Biffy Clyro

2010-06-07T17:31:00.002+01:00

Recommended by a friend. And posted as I am such a sucker for the slightly twisted mushy rock ballads.

Eye candy.

2010-05-21T13:20:00.002+01:00

see more Lol Celebs

Good news. (Hubs' dad)

2010-05-15T14:40:00.002+01:00

It's not cancer. Apparently they found nothing suspicious in the MRI or Cat scan. After lots more prodding and poking they have decided that it is radiation burning from the radiotherapy he had for the prostate cancer.*

So yes, while this is horrid, painful and life-limiting, it isn't life-threatening.

Thank you Universe, for listening to me and not hitting us with this.

*Scroll down if you want the painful details.*

The insides of his rectum and colon are burnt and raw. So you can imagine the pain he is in. But at least it won't kill him.

Because it's been a while.

2010-05-13T13:25:00.003+01:00

moar funny pictures

Walk on by, nothing to see here...

2010-05-11T14:26:00.001+01:00

I don't really know where to start, so if this sounds like whinging mindless drivel, then you'd be right. It is. My mood hasn't really been that great for a while really. Knowing the reasons why doesn't make it any easier to deal with. There are a number of things going on in my life which I don't really want or need, but they are there all the same.

I am just so tired, fed up, cross, and generally not "at one with the world". And FinL's new cancer diagnosis is possibly the last straw. Once again, I have to be strong and supportive, and be there for Hubs. And you know what my reaction to that is right now? Well, it isn't great. It basically seems to boil down to, "FFS! Again?

I am the one constantly cheerleading from the homefront, telling everyone that things will get better, we will be alright, our situation will sort itself out, and you know what, it's hard fucking work being Pollyanna all the time, especially when it isn't particularly natural to you.

I am naturally a pessimistic moany old Bitch. I can't do nice all the time. But that's all I am doing at the moment. The only people I socialise with are my family, and quite frankly a lot of time, they are the people I have issues with. Unfair perhaps, but still true.

I am supporting Hubs because of his family's health (and the impact it could have on his). I have been supporting through the utter shit that his old school caused him, and will support him if this contract does end in December. I am supporting my mum, since my dad is being his normal ignorant, arrogant arsey self, her work is being shit, and generally she isn't particularly happy either at the moment. But since she is going through all of that, there is no way I can burden any of my crap on her, and quite frankly even if I did, there isn't anything she could do or say about it, so what's the point?

My brother is trying to get his act together in some aspects and not so much on others. The fact he is nearly 26, jobless, girlfriendless and quite honestly has no life means that he is a bundle of joy to be around at the moment as well.

I have gotten so good at pretending everything is alright, that everyone believes me when I say I am fine.

I am not fine. I haven't been for a while now.

ConDemned

2010-05-10T15:59:00.004+01:00

It looks like the Liberal Democrats are going to make a coalition government with the Conservatives. My title for my previous post seems very apt. We are being Hung Out To Dry.

I can't imagine that there is a Liberal Democrat out there at grassroots level who actually wants this to happen. The only good thing that could possibly come out of this, is that the Tories will make a complete pigs ear out of it, and will be voted out again within a year. However, as much as that would be a good thing to happen, in the meantime the damage would have already been done. Both to this country and to the Liberal Democrats.

I CANNOT see how a Liberal Democrat can get into bed with a Conservative. Their political views are just so different from each other.

HUNG OUT TO DRY?

2010-05-07T11:16:00.003+01:00

Okay, that was a pretty useless attempt at humour, but I actually don't know what to say, the United Kingdom has a Hung Parliment! BLOODY HELL! This is when no political party has an outright majority of seats to create a governnment. What usually happens is that an agreement is made with 2 parties to unite and create a coalition.

Basically, this means that the Liberal Democrats with either break a deal with the Conservatives, OR Labour to create a government...

I have no IDEA what this means for the UK.

The UK General Election

2010-05-04T13:52:00.002+01:00

is 2 days away. I have absolutely no enthusiasm for it. That doesn't mean that I won't be voting, I definite will be. Unfortunately I have no enthusiam for who I will be voting for. It will be a tactical vote, made to help stop unwanted candidates from getting in.

What this election has done, is opened my eyes up to see there are things that I had previously realised, but have really become obvious in the last few months. I have always known that I must be wired differently for the majority of other people, but politics is the one area where that difference becomes very apparent.

My politics are Green, and I cannot get my head around the fact that there are people out there that don't believe in Climate Change, don't realise that the Environmental issues are probably going to be the most important factors for EVERYONE in the next 100 years. I don't understand those that think the Economy can grow and grow, and we became richer and richer, consume more and more, and it not have any kind of impact? What planet are these people living on?

I am sick of short-term knee-jerk politics where politicians and big business look only to line their own pockets and never see further into the future to see what impact their policies have on our lives.

I do not understand people who blame economic downturns on a particular type of people. We are not in a recession because we have too many immigrants, or because the politicians took liberties with their finances, we are in the shits because the b(w)ankers took the royal piss out of us all, took our money, lost it, and then expected us to give them more of it, without ever giving it back. Yes, politics should be clean and transparent, but you know what? So should fucking Banking! Give us our money back, you shitheads!

(My inner conspiracy theorist found it very interesting that the politicans' finances fraud neatly replaced the banking fiasco story. You know, the one where the banks lost BILLIONS of our money, compared to the politicians' smaller amount. Now I am not saying that the politicians shouldn't have been brought to book about what they did, but in the big picture, why wasn't more done about the b(w)ankers?)

I read the Green Party's Manifesto. It makes sense to me. But I wonder how many people out there have actually read the manifesto of the political party they are going to vote for.

Am I really so weird that I try to make informed decisions about things in my life? Am I really so odd that I can see the bigger picture and want to do something about it? Why am I wired so differently from so many other people?

*People I am friends with tend to also see the big picture and care about stuff, which is probably why I am friends with them in the first place. Just a shame most of them are only on the interwebz*

Day I don't bloody know.

2010-04-18T15:37:00.002+01:00

I think it's day 13, but the diet has slid into nonexistance if I am truly honest. This cold is now the Evil Cold, and is hanging around for much too long. Especially since we are having some lovely weather at the moment, and I am not enjoying it as much as I should be.

Missed out on a friend's 40th birthday celebration last night, which annoyed me, but I am just not well enough. Hopefully it will be kicked to the kerb soon, as I am beyond fed up with it now.

ION, I am off to SONISPHERE at the end of July. Should be good, however I will obviously have to just suck up the blatent sexism that goes on at these things. Such a shame as I really like the music, but the misogynistic bullshit that goes along with it is just fucked up.

Day 8.

2010-04-13T20:38:00.002+01:00

The diet isn't going too well at the moment. I have the mother of all colds. It isn't detoxing, since the kids have had it as well, and they aren't doing the diet (obviously). But what this means is my energy levels are severely lacking at the moment.

Other than that, Hubs is coming around to the healthy eating marlarky, (although his first attempt at a Green Smoothie did leave something to be desired.)

ION, have bought 2 hanging baskets for strawberries and tumbling tomatoes, and 2 pots of grow your own salads. Hopefully I should feel well enough to get out in the garden to do some stuff out there. I have just watched Grow Your Own Drugs and it has made me want a chamomile seat. However, Hubs has said we don't really have room, so might have to wait until the next house! (Booooo, but he has a point.)

But if anyone out there feels like sending me some anti-germ vibes, it would be much appreciated.

Day 1.

2010-04-05T14:52:00.002+01:00

I have started a 28 day Adventure Cleanse Tune up. I am getting my ACT together!! It is low fat, high fibre, vegan wholefood, detox which Neil and I will be doing for the next 4 weeks. This is day one.

So far, so good. Weeing a lot, and not hungry with all the veggies that are being eaten, so this is a good start. I am hoping that any detox side effects will be minimal. (Although this week I have my period, so mood swings may be related to that.)

I have done 10 mins on the Wii, gone on a bike ride, and am about to go for a walk. There will be more Wii this evening I imagine.

I am trying to work out what to have for dinner though.

Woot! I got Chos'Ed!

2010-03-24T12:50:00.007Z

Seriously I am that pathetic, it has made my day! Am not entirely sure what I have been chosen for, but hey, its the choosing that counts.

So first off, thanks, Magaly from Pagan Culture, I have never been chosen for nuffink before! ;)

"Here are the rules of the beautiful blogger award:
1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
4. Contact the bloggers you’ve picked and let them know about the award.

1) Did that bit

2) Seven things about me;
- I am going to get all my hair cut off tomorrow and dyed wacky colours. (Yes, I am *cough* 36 years old, but I am tired of looking like a frumpy cow.)
- When I was a wee girl I wanted to be a policewoman.
- I can make my arms look like they are on the wrong way round.
- I am addicted to the internet.
- I AM going to sort out my garden this year and make it both beautiful and practical. (Much like me! :P)
- I want to go to more foreign countries, but can't justify the environmental impact.
- Have recently realised that I have been Pagan for about 20 years. Which makes me feel both really old, and that I should know more Stuff! :D

3) The blogs that I have chosen are:
Bohemian Shadows New
Another blog of the same above person, Holistic Mum
The Compost Bin Not New

Ummm, now I am going to be a bit crap, as I haven't really looked at any new blogs for a while, but I promise to have a poke around and see what I can come up with. :D

Gratefulness

2010-03-19T13:36:00.000Z

I think I need to write this list and get it out that I am grateful for a lot of things. Yes, things are a bit shit at the moment, but I have to keep things into perspective, because if I don't, I will go stark raving bonkers and really, not in a good way.

* I am grateful to my parents, particularly my mum for bringing me up to be the strong woman I am now.
* I am grateful to my parents for having me and keeping me in the first place.
* I am grateful for my husband and his love for me.
* I am grateful for the blessed beings of my children in my life. The joy they bring me is beyond compare.
* I am grateful that although we aren't rich in material things, we have enough to live in relative comfort.
* I am grateful that we have a roof over our heads, even if it is cramped and messy.
* I am grateful for my mind.
* I am grateful for my female body.
* I am grateful for the friends in my life that mean so much to me.
* I am grateful for the magick in my life.

I am also grateful for...
music, chocolate, vampire fiction, fantasy fiction, dogs, cats, babies, red, pink, purple, sparkles, glitter, fairies, paint, computers, internet, candles, fire, dragons, art, cakes, raspberries, kisses, long hot undisturbed baths, comfy shoes, sexy shoes, comfy bras and knickers, sexy bras and knickers. David Tennant, scifi, Dr Who. BBC, beer, wine, vodka (but not all at once) cooking, drawing, flowers, trees, bushes, muppets, freedom, reading, tattoos...

One of the worst weeks.

2010-03-10T10:54:00.002Z

Neil didn't get the job he applied for. The job that would have transformed our lives. Not because he wasn't good enough, or didn't have the right skills. But because the previous person decided that they didn't want to leave the job, so the job advertised doesn't exist anymore.

Am royally hacked off.

"WE GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS PLACE!"

2010-03-09T11:04:00.002Z

Last night was a traumatic one. In more ways than one.

There was a Murder-Suicide upstairs in the flat directly above us. I heard it happen although at the time I didn't realise what I had heard. We think that the Husband killed his Wife and then turned the gun on himself. Or it could have been the other way round, but we don't know right now. What we do know is that the man and the woman are dead from gunshot wounds to the head.

This afternoon we heard noises that we didn't think much of, since they are always noisy and argumentative. This evening all hell breaks loose with members of the family kicking the door in (which was locked) and the screaming that commenced. We concentrated on keeping the kids away from the door, and I got my other neighbour's 10 year old lad in as well, as his mum had rung an ambulance, and was trying to give CPR on the ambulance service operator's instructions. Even though she could tell that they were dead.

We have just given our limited statements to the police. And we are now off to bed.

I don't want to be living here anymore. Seriously

Waiting

2010-03-04T12:45:00.002Z

Waiting. I seem to spend a lot of my time waiting. Waiting for people to ring, text me, turn up, but at the moment we are waiting for what could possibly one of the most important decisions in our lives so far.

We are waiting to see if Neil has been successful in getting a job. Now that doesn't sound particularly unusual, but this job happens to be on the other side of the world. We will find out if he has it some point next week. Next week isn't that far away, but it feels like an eternity.

I hate waiting.

Hehehe

2010-02-25T12:55:00.000Z

I promise I will try and post something worthwhile up soon. But I can't help myself with this one.

see more Lol Celebs

For my husband (and it made me chuckle!)

2010-02-18T14:14:00.000Z

see more Lol Celebs

Jump! By Me (so be nice!)

2010-02-08T20:54:00.001Z

“Just hold my hand and jump” the boy with the bright blue eyes said to me. “Trust me, I won’t let you go.” We run together, heading towards the cliff top. Our bare feet crush the salty grass that grows along the edge. My heart is beating in my mouth; I look at him, this fire-red haired boy, grinning as we head towards the sea.
The edge of the cliff gets closer and closer. Panic starts to rise in my stomach; I slow down involuntarily. My companion looks at me, pulling harder. His brilliant white smile doesn’t calm me down, but I realise the inevitability of our actions. I know I am going to follow him. That I will jump. I always jump. Suddenly, we are at the edge, there is nowhere to stop, nowhere to turn around, the only place to go is forwards, always forwards. Together we jump. All around us is silent, I can hear nothing but the pounding of my heart as transformed we fly for those seconds before nature takes its course and we plummet forever downwards.
The Sylphs dance around our bodies as we free-fall to the sea. Will the Undines be so welcoming when we meet them? We hit the water. Holding our breath as the salty brine covers our heads. We are still holding hands as we plunge further down. Disorientated, all that I am I have forgotten. All I know is this moment, this one instant of time and space. I open my eyes; all around me are bubbles of air in the green/blue expanse. I see him swimming next to me, still smiling. He seems so at ease in the water, like a true natural spirit. He looks up to the brighter water above us and we swim to the surface.
Breaking through, I breathe again noisily. I cannot describe the exhilaration that fills my body. I scream his name, he laughs at me and kisses me.
“When can we do this again?” I ask.

Now We Are Free

2010-02-04T13:52:00.002Z

And as Hecate says, What If Relationship Is The Point?

A whole different kind of CUTE!

2010-02-02T19:59:00.000Z

see more Lol Celebs

Being A Weirdo.

2010-01-27T13:22:00.003Z

I am proud to say that I have been a Weirdo my entire life! (As in an odd, eccentric, or unconventional person, not a scary psycho!)

I have my moments of wanting to fit in with the normal people, but often I find that the normal people aren't very accomodating. Normal people like everyone to be the same, have the same views, ideas and beliefs, and they don't think very highly of those that dare to be different.

I can't help being different. I have always danced to my own tune, and my children do too. Unfortunately for my son, he goes to school with all the normal people's children who are all learning to be normal too. So he is feeling it a bit at the moment, on the one hand wanting to fit in, but on the other knowing that he really doesn't in his heart.

I find that the internet has opened the door to those who don't think, do or feel that same as the majority of other people. It ranges from just us types that are just apart from the mainstream to those that are completely out there. (No offense, but Otherkin Na'vi? WTF?)

Being weird in my books usually makes you a more thoughtful person. Not necessarily a clever person, but one that at least takes the time to think things through before making a judgement or decision. A weirdo is not a Daily Mail reader. (And if they are, it is usually for the WTF quality.) A weirdo knows how to think outside the box. A weirdo doesn't want or need to be validated by meaningless standards.

Being a weirdo is cool

Being Vegan...

2010-01-19T12:11:00.002Z

I am coming up to the end of my 21 days of being vegan. I would say I have been about 75% successful. I certainly have been vegetarian the entire time, and plan to continue. The veganism has been harder work simply because there have been occasions where I haven't checked the labels properly, and there have been those "extra" ingredients. (And once I completely fell off the vegan wagon with a veggie pizza!) However, I did do 7 days of veganism, so have completed that part of my 101/1001 days.

Another problem I have found is that I can't just afford to replace stuff that we already have, so it is a case of use it all up first, and then get a vegan subsitute. Eating out can problematic as most restaurants can just about cope with the idea of vegetarianism, but veganism just blows their minds. As for having dinner at other peoples' then I think it will depend on who they are, some will cope better with veganism than others.

Hubs isn't completely sure about the veganism. He is supportive up to a point, I just think he feels it is a bit weird. The kids like some of the stuff, and it does mean that the whole family is eating more vegetables.

It is a work in progress. The vegetarianism is just a given now, but I will have to try harder with the veganism.