Dance of the SugarPlum Fairy

I will post something serious soon, I promise...

But not yet.



I don't know who this is, or what he is saying, but Josie and I love it. It's the bouncing snowball from Finland as far as we are concerned. I am posting it here, as I have to play it every day for Josie...*sigh*

This is me. Age 9. About the same age as my son is now. The hair is blonde, not grey, although my mother says I was 40 from the age of 4, my hair didn't show it. :P

I was a pretty little thing, although I didn't really feel it. Once again, hindsight is 20:20 and I was quite a sad little thing too. There were (are) father issues. Not anything too serious in some ways, but serious enough to have a lasting effect.

I can see both my son and daughter in this picture. My son seems to have inherited my somewhat melancholy nature. I want to shield them both from the harshness that can be our world, but I don't want to smother them in cotton wool and leave them vulnerable to the reality of life.

I try to show them what is good in the world too. My daughter is shouting "Spring is coming, Spring is coming" as we point to the buds and blossoms forming on the trees.

I want them to be happier than I was as a child. It is a work in progress.

Really snoresome update.

Couldn't think of a title, and general update is really boring. So random keys it is.

Since the last time I have updated, there hasn't been that much news. Am slowly, slowly getting the garden sorted, even if the slugs and snails have eaten one of my corguette plants. (Gits) Will send Hubs out for a crappy beer or something, and hopefully drown the buggers. So far I have french beans, runner beans, petit pois, corguettes, pumpkins, peppers, chillis, strawberries, raspberries, an apple tree, a pear tree (although those I don't think I will get any fruit from yet). I also have oregano, thyme, lovage, basil, parsley, chives, chamomile, lavender, rosemary and dill growing in various pots.

I need to clear up around the pond, and see if I can resurrect it. It would be lovely to have an actual pond, rather than the stagnant swamp I have at the mo. It has a buddlia at the back of it that I planted last year which is growing well, and I have some broken clay pots at the back as DIY toadhomes.

Other than that, the lawn is awful, with bare patches. But I will get there eventually.


Kiddywinks are well, Hubs is doing okay at work. They really do like him there which is always a bonus. However, we have come to the decision that we HAVE to be moving next year. It will either be because the maternity leave that Hubs is covering will finish and the woman will come back, which will be the end of the Christmas term. Or preferably, Hubs will take his current year 10s through year 11, and we will be moving in the summer hols. We still really have NO idea where, but we will just have to see where the jobs come up. Obviously we have preferences, but it is really just a case of wait and see.

Hubs' dad is still suffering, but he is off to his consultant tomorrow, so hopefully they will be able to offer him something that helps.


I was down in Cornwall the last weekend of May. It was lovely down there, just wish I could drive (and had a car) so could have got around more. However it was very peaceful, the B&B was nice, and we are hoping to get down there again for the Summer hols. My friend's wedding was lovely, but it was a bit weird not having Hubs and the kids there.

This weekend just gone, we went to the Colchester Mediaeval Faire (Oysterfaire) it was nice, but I think DD got a bit hot and tired, so was grumpier than I appreciated. The stuff there was really nice, and I could have bought lots of things, but since we really don't need any of it, have nowhere to put any of it, there was no real point. (Boooo) However we did get DS a Robin Hood outfit (it looks really cool) and DD had a Fair Maiden's headpiece thing. Didn't get anything for myself. Which was disappointing. However some of the stalls are online, so I will be perusing those while Hubs is in the mood for spending money! :D

Perhaps at some point I will have some interesting and outstanding news...This isn't one of them.

"Daughter" by Nicole Blackman

Photo by me - DO NOT NICK!

"Daughter"
A poem by Nicole Blackman
One day I'll give birth to a tiny baby girl
and when she's born she'll scream and I'll make sure
she never stops.

I will kiss her before I lay her down
and will tell her a story so she knows
how it is and how it must be for her to survive.

I'll tell her about the power of water
the seduction of paper
the promise of gasoline
and the hope of blood.

I'll teach her to shave her eyebrows and
mark her skin.

I'll teach her that her body is
her greatest work of art.

I'll tell her to light things on fire
and keep them burning.

I'll teach her that the fire will not consume her,
that she must take it and use it.

I'll tell her to be tri-sexual, to try anything
to sleep with, fight with, pray with anyone,
just as long as she feels something.

I'll help her do her best work when it rains.
I'll tell her to reinvent herself every 28 days.
I'll teach her to develop all her selves,
the courageous ones,
the smart ones,
the dreaming ones
the fast ones.

I'll teach her that she has an army inside her
that can save her life.

I'll tell her to say Fuck like other people say The
and when people are shocked
to ask them why they so fear a small quartet
of letters.

I'll make sure she always carries a pen
so she can take down the evidence.
If she has no paper, I'll teach her to
write everything down on her tongue
write it on her thighs.

I'll help her to see that she will not find God
or salvation in a dark brick building
built by dead men.

I'll explain to her that it's better to regret the things
she has done than the things she hasn't.

I'll teach her to write her manifestos
on cocktail napkins.
I'll say she should make men lick her enterprise.

I'll teach her to talk hard.
I'll tell her that her skin is the
most beautiful dress she will ever wear.

I'll tell her that people must earn the right
to use her nickname,
that forced intimacy is san ugly thing.

I'll make her understand that she is worth more
with her clothes on.

I'll tell her that when the words finally flow too fast
and she has no use for a pen
that she must quit her job
run out of the house in her bathrobe,
leaving the door open.
I'll teach her to follow the words.

I'll tell her to stand up
and head for the door
after she makes love.
When he asks her to
stay she'll say
she's got to
go.

I'll tell her that when she first bleeds
when she is a woman,
to go up to the roof at midnight,
reach her hands up to the sky and scream.

I'll teach her to be whole, to be holy,
to be so much that she doesn't even
need me anymore.
I'll tell her to go quickly and never come back.
I will make her stronger than me.

I'll say to her never forget what they did to you
and never let them know you remember.

Never forget what they did to you
and never let them know you remember.

Poem by Nicole Blackman
Photo by me, DO NOT NICK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!