Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The last few moments of the first decade of the 21st century.

Was a decade that you can be proud of?

Was 2009 a good year to you?

What did it teach you, what did it make you grateful for? What could you quite happily stuck back up the backside of 2009?

What are you looking forward to in 2010?

One thing I am looking forward to is quite silly, but still. Being about to say TwentyTen, rather than the mouthful that is TwoThousandAndNine.

2009 in all honesty, has been a bit of a pig of a year in many respects. Globally, locally, and personally. Lots of it has been happening to other people, affecting me indirectly, but the stress levels have been fucking high.

Specifics are boring, so I won't go into detail, but things are in motion for some kind of resolution which is good. The waiting isn't though.

My health took a bit of a battering this year. I don't do stress well, I internalise it, and I get fat and rashy. This is going to stop, as I KNOW that I must be healthy for my sake as much as anyone elses. Am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, so it is definately time to get off my lazy bum and do something about it.

Hopefully 2010 will be the year of Good Change, the changes we want, rather than the ones that get thrust upon us and we just have to deal with as well as possible. (2009 was made of Bad Change or Stagnation. Not a good mixture.)

So yeah, goodbye 2009, you did suck at times, so don't let the door hit you on the way out, and welcome 2010. Let's kick some arse together!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

My New Year Resolution...

I am going to try and do something different this year. It is only a 3-week resolution. I am going to be vegan for 21 days. On my 101/1001 list, I stated that I would try for a week, well I decided to up the anti, and follow this programme.

I will try and blog my progress, and it will be interesting to see what changes it makes. Will I become more intuned, spiritual, etc, etc...

What I won't do, is turn into one of those holier-than-thou Veganites who tries to make everyone else feel bad about what they eat.

But it is something I have wanted to try for many years now, so I am going to give it a go.

Wish me luck!


Monday, December 7, 2009

What happens when we sanitise all that scares us?


Or Twiglet as some of my friends and I like to call it. A strange phenomenum indeed. An asexual, moralistic, non-sensual vampire. All that makes a vampire a vampire is taken away and what are we left with? Edward Cullen? Really?

Or are we willingly wrapping up wolves in sheepskin that we have given them? Are we glossing over the overt sexuality and violence of a vampire, because we don't like the fact we find it attractive?

Pubescent girls and older women? What do they have in common? I mean I can fully appreciate that Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are nice to look at. (Well, sorta, add 10 years on both, and I'd like them more)

Can I be provocative and suggest that the similarities between the TwilightTweens/Teens and the TwilightMoms are that both are often at stages in their lives where circumstances have put them into positions they aren't really comfortable with. A young teen is restricted by her age and her financial dependance. Her sexuality is under constraints from her family and her society. Ummmm, hate to say this, but you could also say that about a lot of older women!

But make a sexual predator somehow safe and acceptable, then all that hormonal emotion can be concentrated on the fantasy of Edward Cullen. The young girls really don't know what he like, so feel safe, and the older women do know what he is like, but also know that he has been somewhat castrated, and is again, safe.

Are we so afraid of sex, that our only openly acceptable fantasy is a vampire stalker who will love us forever, but manipulates our sexuality to gain power over us?

Monday, November 23, 2009

Climate Change

This isn't a big rant about stupid people and the denial of climate change, as that would just go on for too long.

However, I thought I would share this with you. Write a letter to your MP about Bangladesh and the effect Climate Change is having on the country - via FACEBOOK

I have done it, and if others could too, it would be fantastic. If you add a personal message to the C&P'd text, then it will get past their C&P filter. It is UK orientated, but it wouldn't take a lot to change to work for whatever country you come from.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Official Children in Need song 2009

This is fantastic! Although slightly disturbing that I can pretty much name every single character! Not that I watch a lot of kids' tv!!! Honest!!

Friday, November 20, 2009


No words. Just WOW!

Those Pesky Vampires.

You would think that the Vatican would have better things to worry about. Or rather SHOULD have better things to worry about.

I certainly don't think that sparkly vamps are much of a threat to Catholism. I would suggest that outdated dogma and hypocrasy are much bigger threats.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The 11th Day of the 11th Month

At the Cenotaph - S Sassoon

I saw the Prince of Darkness, with his Staff,
Standing bare-headed by the Cenotaph:
Unostentatious and respectful, there
He stood, and offered up the following prayer.
“Make them forget, O Lord, what this Memorial
Means; their discredited ideas revive;
Breed new belief that War is purgatorial
Proof of the pride and power of being alive;
Men’s biologic urge to readjust
The Map of Europe, Lord of Hosts, increase;
Lift up their hearts in large destructive lust;
And crown their heads with blind vindictive Peace.”
The Prince of Darkness to the Cenotaph
Bowed. As he walked away I heard him laugh.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

"The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion"

"Abortion is a highly personal decision that many women are sure they'll never have to think about until they're suddenly faced with an unexpected pregnancy. But this can happen to anyone, including women who are strongly anti-choice. So what does an anti-choice woman do when she experiences an unwanted pregnancy herself? Often, she will grin and bear it, so to speak, but frequently, she opts for the solution she would deny to other women -- abortion.
In the spring of 2000, I collected the following anecdotes directly from abortion doctors and other clinic staff in North America, Australia, and Europe. The stories are presented in the providers' own words, with minor editing for grammar, clarity, and brevity. Names have been omitted to protect privacy."
"The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion"
When the Anti-Choice Choose

By Joyce Arthur Copyright © September, 2000

A friend of mine posted this on her LJ. I thought I would share it here too. So much for Galatians 5:14 For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." But then, this isn't often one of God's laws that people like these women actually follow. Hypocrites Much?

Monday, November 9, 2009

A Poem by me.

You Leave Me

You came, a wind that knocked me off my feet.
Feathers ruffled, emotions stirred,
You gave me a look that unlocked my spirit.
A friendship formed, secrets were shared and my life brightened.
Now you leave me alone.

Lives go on, they always must.
You go to start anew
My jealousy is not of reason.
A new beginning, a life completely fresh.
You leave me alone.

I had you in my heart for a year
Will you still be there forever?
A pain that aches, that I cannot share
No one to tell, not even you.
You leave me alone.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


"When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure." - Peter Marshall


D = Divine

I = Incorrigible

V = Vivacious

A = Alive

Bouncing Ferrets!

Words of Waffle

In my heart and soul lives and loves a dragon.
My dragon roars loudly.
Who is my dragon?
Is she me, is she free?

Everything must be perfect.

Why I am?

Monday, November 2, 2009

Full Moon

The full moon shines down upon my skin,
I lift my face up to Her.
A cry starts to form in my throat.
My heart aches,
And I must howl at the moon...

Saturday, October 31, 2009

To the Beloved Departed

Muriel Austin - Died April 2008
"Bubble" Ward - In this reality from Jan 07 - March 07
Michael Austin - Died January 2001
Joseph Austin - Died August 1998

Colin Harrison - Died 27th October 2009
Keith Fuller - Died July 2009



Pixie, kobold, elf, and sprite
All are on their rounds to-night,-
In the wan moon's silver ray
Thrives their helter-skelter play.

Fond of cellar, barn,or stack,
True unto the almanac,
They present to credulous eyes
Strange hobgoblin mysteries.

Cabbage-stomps-straws wet with dew-
Apple-skins, and chestnuts too,
And a mirror for some lass,
Show what wonders come to pass.

Doors they move, and gates they hide,
Mischiefs that on moon-beams ride
Are their deeds, and, by their spells,
Love records its oracles.

Don't we all, of long ago,
By the ruddy fireplace glow,
In the kitchen and the hall,
Those queer, coofllke pranks recall?

Eery shadows were they then-
But to-night they come again;
Were we once more but sixteen,
Precious would be Halloween.

-Joel Benton


Brighid of the Triple Flame

Image from HERE

Friday, October 23, 2009

How to be authentic.

How do you know when you are living your life authenticly? Can you really live authentically in this world, twentyfourseven? If authenticity is about living truthfully, what happens when some of those truths that we have to live with aren't particularly positive?

Are you living authentically if your life is full of compromise? Is compromise a bad thing? What if living authentically means radically changing the status quo of your life?

What happens when you feel you don't know what to do to live authentically in the first place?

Authentic Self

Feels optimistic
Is honest and open
Commits but is flexible
Thinks for themself
Goes with the flow, open to change
Wants to do their best
Knows when to apologize
Knows how to accept and receive
Listens to feelings
Takes responsibility
Acts when appropriate
Makes healthy choices
Knows when to stop and re-evaluate
Knows how to ask for help
Feels happy a lot of the time
Is tuned into a larger field of intelligence

The thing is when I look at that list, I would say (I hope) that I am most of those things most of the time. So does that mean I am authentic most of the time. If that is the case, then why don't I feel it. Is this just the "other" bit of most of the time?

Sell the Vatican.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I am back!

I have a laptop that works again! Can't think of anything to write about, but at least I can when I do!! :P

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Because we haven't had the cutes for a while...

cute pictures of puppies with captions
see more dog and puppy pictures

I love Technology

I miss my laptop. I miss having a decent pc in the house. We have at the moment, what I call Frankenstein's Computer. It is a machine created out of all the bits of previous pcs that my husband has never got rid of since he is a hoarder, and "they might be useful one day". I will give him his due, he was sort of right this time, as we do have a prehistoric monster in the corner of our bedroom that we can just about download our emails from. But that's pretty much it. At the moment, I am using my mum's work laptop, as she has lent it to us, for Neil to do some online applications.

Anyway, this got me thinking about the strange reaction technology can get within the Pagan world. There seems to be a lot of harking back to the "good old days", when we didn't have the technology we have now. I find this strange, since most of our standard of living comes from the way we use technology.

I think a lot of pagans consider appreciating technology in the same light as enjoying materialism. While we don't need to have the latest plasma screen tv, i-Pod, mobile (cell) phone, etc, etc...we do however have a need for the technology that makes solar panels, creates clean energy, builds our homes in sustainable ways, etc, etc...

I was walking around Gloucester Cathedral last weekend. Walking over the graves of our ancestors. I was grateful for living in this turn of the century, not the last, or further back. Reading the epitaphs of young women who have died in childbirth is quite chilling. I KNOW that if I had been around in the past, if either my son and I had survived his birth, I would have lost him at 4 months. And both my daughter and I certainly would have died during her birth. That's what technology has done for us.

Perhaps I am being melodramatic, but we do seem to take a lot for granted in this century. Wishing for simpler times may not be quite the same thing, but it depends on what is meant by simpler times.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Oh Yeah!

And btw, if the man in my life decided that I was the one that had to pick up his socks and generally run his life for him? After a month of not having anything that he has used cleaned or put away unless he does it, I am sure he would get the hint.

Fay Weldon

To be honest, I am tempted to just dismiss this latest hoo-hah over Fay Weldon's comments this week, and blame on the fact that she is an old dear, and therefore may be becoming prone to making comments that are blatently full of shit. I won't though. I suppose if you have ever considered Fay Weldon to be a feminist, then it is a blow to read one of your icons come out with such a crock.

But the worse thing about it all is this insistance on telling how useless the poor men are. You know, women need to look after them, and change their opinions to make sure they don't threaten their poor minds and egos. I am completely willing to accept that men and women are wired differently. But you know what, everyone is wired differently from everyone else. It has fuck all to do with gender. Gender is a really easy box to put people into, "well, they don't do tidying because they are a man." Nooo, they don't do tidying because they either hate it, or they are lazy fuckers.

If both of you are working, then both of you clean the house. If both of you are working, then both of you cook. If both of you are working, then IT IS AN EQUAL FUCKING RELATIONSHIP WHERE BOTH OF YOU PULL YOUR OWN WEIGHT!

Now, I am a full-time mum at the moment. My husband works hard, but he acknowledges that SO DO I! Looking after children is knackering. Caring for anyone takes time, effort and it is worth something. More than it gets at the moment. Our jobs are different, but one isn't more important than the other. And it certainly doesn't mean that my husband doesn't do anything around the house or with the children. And if I worked fulltime, then he would do more, not less.

Some men would probably live in a hovel if they could get away with it. Some women probably would. But usually someone who lives on their own can cope with the idea of housework. Why does that change for a man as soon as a woman is on the scene. In fact, I would be interested to know what the dynamics are with gay couples get together? Or is it still that old chestnut of gay men aren't the same because they are gay? That argument gets very old very quickly.

So, yes Fay. Quite frankly, I think you are talking out of your arse!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Just Too Much.

What do you do when it all just gets too much? When you are having a major "stop the planet, I wanna get off" moment? What do you do when the patriarchal bullshit, ecological ignorance, and general "don't give a shit" attitude of your peers gets to a level that you just don't want to deal with it anymore?

Honestly? You shout and swear a lot. And you keep doing what you are doing. How can you do anything else?

I am having a real STP,IWGO! moment right now. However, I can't just stop, I have to keep getting up, living life, and generally getting on with what I get on with.

Oh well...

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Quiet of late.

I haven't really posted much here of late. Visiting friends and then a bout of Swine Flu combined with my laptop going POP!FIZZ! has meant that I don't get onto a pc that much.

I have started my 101/1001. Nothing major done yet, just simple things like buying myself flowers. Neil has put in his official grievance with work, and it is now just a a case of waiting to see what they do next. (A long and complicated story that I may one day get into.)

The summer school holidays have been dull and dreary so far. We don't look like we are getting away at all, as we can't go abroad (no current passports) and the weather is being too crap for going anywhere in the UK.

Hopefully I will get more in the flow so to speak and post more.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Words fail me...

On how disturbing and disgusting I find this.

These little girls are wearing more make-up than I do. I am a 35 year old woman.

Where are their (usually) mothers' brains at? What sick need do these women have to make their daughters look like this?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

My Biggest Flaw


I seem to find lots of ways to not get on with what I need to get on with. For a start, I could be doing housework, as my daughter is napping. What am I doing? Blogging. About procrastinating. Yeah...

It's one of the reasons why I started the 101/1001 thing. Listing all the things I want to achieve makes them more real and I am more likely to actually do them.

But why do I procrastinate so much? I think a lot of it may be boredom if I am honest. I am not one of these Domestic Goddesses that loves housework. Much rather be a Domestic Slut! (Slut in the sense of messy and not very houseproud, not the sexualised version. See here, Domestic Sluttery) I loathe housework, it never ends. As soon as I get anything put away and tidy, it gets pulled out, used and left. So yes. Boredom is a major factor.

I suppose I can give myself credit that I don't tend to procrastinate about the Big Things. If something of importance has to be done, I usually get on and do it. Which is odd. If I do the biggies, why do the little things get ignored?

Perhaps some of it is Fear. Am I scared of going the whole hog on certain areas of my life because I am unsure of the outcomes or that I might not manage it? I do know I certainly hate failure. And having cocked up things like driving tests more than once, twice...(cough, and the rest!) I do not have any inclination of doing it again! Like my Maths GCSE. I don't have a grade sufficient to go into Teacher Training. I know I should just do it again, and then at least it opens up the option of TT in the future, but how will I feel if I fail it again?

Another factor to consider is Confusion. I really don't know what I am doing or where I am going at the moment. Some of that is because of an outside influence that I have no mundane control over, (however magick is being flung in it's direction to sort it out!) It does mean that we are stuck in this situation until it is sorted out. So even if I had any big plans they would be put in on hold.

I want to have some big plans though. I want to know that I have a future doing what I enjoy, is worthwhile, and while it doesn't have to make loads of money, a comfortable income would be appreciated. But when you just don't have a Scooby as to what you want to do, it makes it difficult to plan things.

So how do I sort this out? Any ideas? :P

Boredom is only sorted by doing Not Boring things. Housework is never going to be interesting to me. Could I hire a cleaner? Not really. Get the family to help. LOL! Yeah. Working Hubs tries to help, but is at work lots. DS is nearly 8, and DD is 1 and a half. Not really going to happen. DS does help to a point, but then makes mess elsewhere.

Fear. If I stopped failing at things, then I might not be so afraid of failure. Self defeating I am aware, but it doesn't change that feeling. Maybe do some tasks that I won't fail at? Aiming to do that with the 101/1001 list. I know that no-one thinks bad of me if I don't always succeed, but my Capricorn self has a really really hard time accepting it.

Confusion. I really really need a plan. I think that has to be my priority.

Well, that's it folks. Any advice on stopping procrastination would be appreciated, but be nice, since telling me to get off my lazy arse won't really help me much. (I say it to myself enough.)

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Torchwood - Children of Earth (MAJOR EPISODE 5 SPOLIERS)

Am I part of a small minority that didn't think that CofE was crap?

Traumatic, depressing, horrific, but not crap. (Major spoilers for Episode 5 to follow.)

Jack isn't the Doctor, he is only a man. He doesn't have the intelligence, the experience or the technological knowhow to defeat his enemies. Sometimes he has to use what he has available, even if it devastates him in the process.

And now matter how much it makes us cry, and how much we don't like it, nice people die. In horrible ways. In the very first episode of Torchwood it was stated that the average life expectancy of a Torchwood field officer isn't very long. They don't have the Doctor to protect them. So they die.

It was ADULT sci-fi at its best. Disturbing and thoughtprovoking. Which is what it was meant to do. If it upset you. It worked. If it made you cry. It worked. If it made you feel slightly ashamed of yourself. It worked. That's what decent BBC Drama should do.

The only parts of the series and episode 5 that I had issues with were these; I don't believe that the British military would have followed those orders. Those mums watching their kids being taken away would have ripped those soldiers heads off. And once the children saw how upset their parents and teachers were, would not have walked out so calmly. It would have been mass panic at the outset. And an AMERICAN GENERAL walking into the cabinet and taking over. It wouln't happen.

But Frobisher killing his family and then himself. Yes.

Jack sacrificing his grandson to save millions. Yes.

Torchwood as a series is for Grown Ups. Adult TV isn't just about sex and swearing. Its about getting us out of comfort zones, making us look at our demons and making us THINK.

So yeah, its shit and sad that Ianto died. It is horrific that Jack had to do that to his family. And it is really uncomfortable to easily able to envisage our current government doing EXACTLY the same thing "for the good of the people".

But I don't ever remember being told that Torchwood would have a Happy Ever After...

Friday, July 10, 2009

101 Things To Do In 1001 Days -- Starts Sat 1st Aug 2009

Therefore will finish...

Saturday 28th April 2012

Where have all the Grown Ups gone?

There is a side effect of our Youth obsessed culture that doesn't seem to be talked about much. But a number of events that have happened in the past few months have made me realise that most adults are so by chronological age, rather than maturity. There seem to be more and more examples of people that just need to grow the fuck up.

I don't mean that everyone should be sensible all the time, boring and unable to kick loose, but overall there are too many people I know who range in age from 25 to 60+, for all intents and purposes meant to be Grown Ups, who behave like immature adolescents.

I am really very tired of adults whinging about how crap their lives are, and how mean everyone is to them, and how the world owes them something. Too many people have Redwood size chips on their shoulders that they won't take responsibilty for.

I am the first to admit there are occasions where I drink too much, muck around and generally behave in a manner "unbecoming of a lady my age"!! But I don't do it often, I don't see it as a right and I certainly don't do it in front of my children.

In the workplace, bullying is rife. It is either ignored, condoned or encouraged. Therefore, because bullying is so commonplace, it is easy to slip into a victim mentality that isn't healthy. Now, don't get me wrong, being bullied is shit whoever you are. But recently I have experienced grown women pulling the "I am being bullied" card, because they aren't getting their own way. It seems to be so easy to pull out these labels and hide behind them, rather than actually working the situation out, even if it is hard work.

In every walk of life I am seeing it. Everything is always someone's fault. Why have we lost the ability to take responsibilty for our own lives? WE can't be looked after for ever.

The scariest part of it all is our future. What happens to children when their parents don't act like Grown Ups?

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Fitting In

Human beings are social animals. We like to be part of a group. Ideally this would be a group of like-minded, friendly peers of our own choosing. Eventually if we are lucky, we have established a group like this (of varying sizes) by our adulthood.

However, for some reason society insists on throwing our children into large groups where the only thing in common is the year of their birth. Group dynamics and social status are set by who you are friends with and what your interests are. Often however, there is one child, for whatever reason doesn't quite fit in.

This would be my son. He is nearly 8 years old. The youngest of his year. I feel guilty as I know that it is somewhat my fault. We don't socialise with the other parents, other than superficial chitchat outside the classroom, but then we have very little in common with them. The area where we live, success is based on what car you drive, how big your house is, how much stuff you have. And in those terms, we are not successful. We don't drive, we live in a too small maisonette, and we don't do stuff. We are a bit weird, a bit radical, a bit different. Those aren't good things to a child.

It has come to a head this year when my son's best friend left school without a word. Owen came back from his holidays and his friend just wasn't there anymore. And the worst thing, he didn't even bother saying goodbye. (His mum has my contact details. There was no excuse to do that to a child.) But having his buddy gone has meant that his position in the class has changed. He is bestfriendless, and it hurts. The other kids seem to now barely tolerate him. He isn't allowed to join in games, he is told he is "rubbish", and that "boys with O in their names and who wear glasses can't join in..." Talking to the teacher hasn't really gone anywhere. We had assurances that things would be kept an eye on, and that support would be given. I mean, adults miss their friends, and this is an eight year old! However, I don't really think the support has been given to him.

I honestly don't know what to do. While I understand what is going on, the repercussions for us are that we have a miserably and stroppy child who argues and sulks over the slightest incident at home, because he is unhappy at school. I can't condone the bad behaviour, but I hate telling him off constantly for rudeness and inconsideration. It is upsetting as I feel so useless.

I know kids can be cruel. However, now having children of my own, I know that some of that cruelity is based on parental response. If your kids see you taking the piss out of other people they aren't going to think twice about doing it themselves. If you make a huge deal about your plasmascreen tv, then someone that doesn't have one must be weird.

We need to change our materialism, thatcherite/blairite, dogeatdog attitude, yet I look at the majority of the children around here, and it isn't happening.

This depressing post was brought to you by fed-upness irritation, and hopelessness.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Dressing The Bride - Geraldine Charles

Sure, ‘twas as though the granite bones
And flesh of earthen Mother,
Rose up, said, “Well, I’ve a will to be wed
To my white and golden lover
My white, my gold-haired lover.

“He’s a son of the sun and a son of my own
So the sun and the sky I will wed,
For they say I’m owed a warrior bold
To protect the fields in my stead
To preserve the land in my stead.”

Will Sheelah-na-Gig then jig for joy?
Will fairies then dance in a ring?
Or will Morgan le Fay angrily say,
“We’ve started a terrible thing
Oh, begun a terrible thing.”

“Oh, Mother”, we said, “don’t marry that man,
We need no warriors bold and brave -
His kind will call you whore and hag,
Rip minerals from your caves,
Yes, rape iron and oil from your caves.

“No, Mother, don’t marry the son of the sun,
His sons will bring you sorrow -
They’ll shit in the ocean and piss in your wells,
For you there’ll be no tomorrow,
For all of us no tomorrow.”

And Sheelah-na-Gig won’t jig for joy,
The fairies won’t dance in a ring -
And Morgan le Fay will sadly say,
“We’ve started a terrible thing
Oh, begun a terrible thing.”

We’ll give you a day like you never had
A day of praises, joy and mirth -
Far better than tying yourself to that lad
A day for Mother Earth
Just to celebrate Mother Earth.

We’ll dress you in green; we’ll dress you in brown,
We’ll polish your lakes, from swords make ploughs,
And braid wildflowers into your crown -
And berries for your brow,
Gather berries for your brow.

And Sheelah-na-Gig will jig for joy,
The fairies will dance in a ring -
And Morgan le Fay will gravely say,
“We’ve avoided a terrible thing
Oh, escaped a terrible thing.”

But oh, my darlings, sad to say,
She wed the warrior bold and brave.
His sons forced all our maids away,
Ripping minerals from the caves,
Raping iron and oil from our caves.

So we went down to Troytown,
One cold and bitter winter’s day -
And danced into the Maizey Wheel,
And never came out again,
Not for five thousand years and a day.

And Sheelah-na-Gig is forced to church,
The fairies are no longer near.
And Morgan le Fay’s called bitch and whore,
There’s no place for the Lady here,
No, no place for the Lady here.


Now the dragon paths are trod again,
The veils are lifting from our eyes -
As earthen mother breaks her chains,
Flicks the warriors off like flies,
Flicks the warriors off like flies.

We’ll dress her in green; we’ll dress her in brown,
And polish her lakes, from swords make ploughs,
And braid wildflowers into her crown -
With berries for her brow,
Yes, to bind around her brow.

And Sheelah-na-Gig will jig for joy,
The fairies will dance in a ring -
And Morgan le Fay will gladly say,
“Our mother is everything
Mother Earth is everything.”

And Sheelah-na-Gig will jig for joy,
The fairies will dance in a ring -
And Morgan le Fay will sing all day,
“Our mother is everything
Mother Earth is everything.”

©2004, Geraldine Charles

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

101 Things To Do In 1001 Days

Am starting to think about doing this. There are lots of things I would love to do, and lots of things I need to do and I usually procrastinate my way out of them. Which is defeatist and silly. 1001 days is about 2 and 3/4 years. There isn't really much that can't be accomplished in that amount of time.

So I am going to start my 101 list and see where it leads me.

EDIT: This took me ages, and isn't really in any order of importance. Basically they were written as they popped into my head. I tried sorting them out, but it was too complicated.

101 Things To Do In 1001 Days.

1) Get down to between ten and a half/eleven stone.
2) Do an elimination diet and work out exactly what I am allergic to. DONE (dairy)
3) Establish an exercise routine that I enjoy and want to do.
4) Investigate laser eye treatment. DONE - CAN'T HAVE IT, EYES TOO WONKY
5) Save up for breast reduction.
6) Have at least one decent complementary therapy a month.
7) Buy myself a decent pair of trainers. DONE - Bought MBTs
8) Learn Yoga from a private tutor.
9) Go swimming every week. (DOING)
10) Learn how to do a handstand.
11) Join a Life Drawing class
12) Make space for a creative area in my home. (DONE)
13) Draw/Paint every week. (DOING)
14) Re-learn to use the sewing machine.
15) Learn to adapt/make clothes.
16) Make myself an outfit that is fit to be seen in.
17) Make a dress for Josie.
18) Learn to crochet.
19) Learn to knit
20) Make all my presents for the year.
21) De-clutter the flat (DONE)
22) Redecorate the flat (DONE)
23) Sell the flat (DOING)
24) Move into our lovely new big house (DONE) but not our forever house.
25) Create a garden following Permaculture ideologies
26) Do another Permaculture course
27) Grow most of our fruit and veg
28) Buy Organic Box Scheme fruit and veg to make up
29) Teach Owen and Josie how to garden
30) Create an outdoor temple space.
31) Start/join a Goddess group - DOING
32) Start/join a Pagan moot
33) Create a dedicated space in my home (DOING)
34) Celebrate the Esbats and Sabbats more formally. (DOING)
35) Visit Avebury
36) Go to the Goddess Conference again
37) Make myself a silk ritual robe
38) Memorise The Charge of The Goddess
39) Go on holiday to Malta and visit the Goddess sites
40) Go on a Bush craft course
41) Read a fiction book every month
42) Read a non-fiction book every month
43) Subscribe to a magazine for a year (Spirit and Destiny?)
44) Rejoin a library (DONE)
45) Join an Real Life book club
46) Charityshop all the books I will never read again
47) Write a children's storybook and illustrate it myself.
48) Write a novel, even if it's crap and I am the only one that reads it.
49) Write a proper Diary/Journal as well as Blogging
50) Do a formal course in Herbalism
51) Become less reliant on the telly for company (DONE)
52) Paint a fantasy world in Josie's bedroom (when she has her own room)
53) Let Owen decorate his own room.
54) Take singing lessons
55) Learn to ride a horse
56) Learn to belly dance
57) Get the tattoo I have always wanted
58) Get my nose pierced again
59) Go to a Farmer's Market DONE - new one to go every other month at least
60) Take more photos of Life and the Kids
61) Learn Welsh
62) Get over my fear of Maths (DONE)
63) Get my Maths GCSE DONE - passed Aug 2011
64) Look into options of becoming an English teacher
65) Find a job that I actually want and like to do
66) Set up a joint account for bills and such (DONE)
67) Set up a single account for odds and sods
68) Save money.
69) Go to the park once a week with the children
70) Go for summer picnics
71) Get hair cut really short and dye it a wacky colour DONE>
72) Stop being such a frump and let that inner BoHo out.
73) Learn to drive
74) Ride a motorbike
75) Wear sexy shoes at least once a month
76) Have only attractive underwear
77) Stay out alone all night in the "wilderness"
78) Start making own cosmetics.
79) Write my Will
80) Buy some expensive jewellery
81) Buy an original piece of art
82) Buy flowers once a month
83) Have a painting exhibited.
84) Teach Owen how to make a Journal
85) Make a "Date-Night" with husband
86) See friends at least one every other month.
87) Go to the cinema every other month (if haven't gone on Date-Night)
89) Print off photos on PC and put in proper albums
90) Get an article published
91) Create a rockabilly outfit for going out
92) Sponsor a child
93) Go vegetarian for a month DONE, AND STILL DOING
94) Go vegan for a week DONE
95) Go to a concert of someone familiar SONISPHERE
96) Go to a concert of someone completely random SONISPHERE
97) Bake a cake once a week.
98) Start making own herbal remedies
99) Get a Northern Inuit dog
100) Create a monthly budget and stick to it
101) One takeaway every other month. (DONE) Less than that infact.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Ethical Thinking

There is a theme going round the pagan blogsphere to post up about pagan ethics. Lots of them have made interesting reading. I can't promise that mine will be that interesting though. Sorry.Although a lot of people think I am everso liberal, I do have ethics. They might not be what other people agree with, but they aren mine. They have little to do with Paganism. I personally feel that I would have the same ethics if I wasn't pagan. (However, if I was a Fundie Christian, I imagine some of them would be a bit different! :P )

My ethics are as follows:

Thou shalt use your brain and clear up thy own shit.

And that's it.I suppose I should explain this a bit. It encompasses a lot.

1. Don't mess up the environment, as you aren't the only one using it. And why should my children and my childrens' children have to clear up your shit?
2. Take responsibilty for your actions. You did it, you deal with it. Whether that be good or bad. If you have wronged someone, then so be it. Sort it out and make it better.
3. If sometimes your intentions aren't the purest, deal with it. Don't make excuses. Know what you are doing and why you are doing it, and if it all goes horribly wrong, make sure you can deal with the consequences.
4. Listen to what others tell you, but just because someone says it's true, doesn't make it so.

It's all about taking responsibility for yourself. Since you are the only person you can truly be responsible for. We are responsible TO others, but not for. We have a responsibilty to our children to bring them up safe, healthy and sane.

Paganism to me, isn't about rules and restrictions. No thou shalt not, and if you do, you are eternally screwed. There is no Higher Power looking at you, wagging a finger. The PTBs give us the choice to choose. Sometimes I don't think it is the choice that is the important thing, it is the choosing.

Monday, June 8, 2009

A Bad Thing


The BNP now have two MEPs!!!!!!

I am disgusted. I am disgusted at the stupidity and ignorance of the people that voted for them. I am sure that they would not have looked into the BNP's policies or past the shallow rhetoric saying what they think people want to hear.

The irony of it being the anniversary of the D-Day landings this weekend, and our country elects fascists to represent our country in Europe is just sad and horrifying beyond words.

Sometimes I have very little faith in humanity.

Friday, June 5, 2009


When you vote for a political party, do you expect to agree with every single policy that they have, or do you choose the party that is closest to your views?

I have heard from several people that they didn't vote Green because they disagreed with one or two of their policies. Huh? So you agree with every single policy of the party that you voted for? Really? Considering the alternatives that were available?

Realistically, if the Green party ever got in, it would probably drop some of their more contentious views. (Embryonic Stem Cell research, etc.) However, what it might mean is that there would be more discussion about the pros and cons of such research, rather than the current "well, you will do what we think is right!" attitudes which current and previous Governments have had.

Would you consider actually joining the party that shares most of your views, and actively try and work with them at changing policies? Or would that mean actually making an effort?

Why can't we stop being so apathetic about these things and actually do something?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Starting a Group

I am seriously considering trying to set up a group. I know there are groups I could go to the further I go into London, but actually travelling in can be time-consuming and expensive. I also am feeling that there MUST be more likeminded people out there, that aren't either arseholes or flakes.

So what do I have to do? Firstly work out what type of group I want to do? Do I want to set up a Pagan Moot? (A monthly meeting in a pub for socialising/drinking.) A Circle at my home? I honestly don't know. I want to develop friendships with the possibility for working together. Am I looking at a women only group, or a mixed one? A Circle works better with just women, if I am honest, but a Moot works better with men. (Strange how having it in a pub changes the dynamic of a group.)

Then on the other hand, there is a distinct possibility that we will be moving from the area with the next 6 months, so is it worth even trying?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, just dunno.


I am begging you, from the depths of my soul, VOTE GREEN!!!!!!!!!!

Why? Because they are the only ones with any idea of what problems we will be facing in the future. And they are the only ones with any sensible and practical ideas to solve them. We NEED them in positions of power in Europe. Not the Tories,
New Labour, Lib Dems (I am sorry to say), the UKIP, or gods forbid the BNP.


READ IT! Even if you have no intention of voting Green, read it so at least you know what you don't like!

Saturday, May 30, 2009


Totally unrelated to anything, but I thought I would share my happy news!

My beloved cat Wayland who has been missing for over 7 weeks HAS BEEN FOUND!

He is now safely back at home, and hasn't stopped purring!

All I can say is I am so happy that we got him microchipped all those years back!

So very pleased to say the least!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Quelle Surprise!? Ummm, non...

We all now that politicians are often sponging, grasping arseholes. Now we have the proof, thanks to the publication of all British MPs' expenses by the Daily Telegraph.

Don't get me wrong, it is disgusting that these people have made up their own salaries and own bonuses and own expenses and have basically sponged off the taxpayer for years, however at the moment this is all the media is talking about. And whilst very very embarrassing for the Government, I am pretty sure there is other newsworthy stuff going on in the world! I personally feel that we need to spend less time discussing how greedy these people have been, and more about sorting out the situation that let this happen in the first place. Why have we let our Government (that we elect and pay for) create a situation where they take and take and take with very little in return.

Our whole society is based on the principle that Profit is God. That making money is the only and most important thing to do, no matter what your job is. Every public sector service is now run with the view to making profit. (I have always wondered how you can make a monetary profit from the NHS and Education, but our Governments liked to have a damn good try!) So why are we so shocked that our politicians would be any better behaved. I KNOW they should be, but they ain't!

And while all this furore goes on, people lose faith in the main parties and look for alternatives. It would be nice to think that it was the Green Party and the likes they are turning to. But unfortunately, this probably isn't the case. Other parties who start saying what they think the public want to hear, with their hot air and false promises. I wonder how many seats the BNP (WILL NOT put a link to their website) will get, because their shameful comments about how they are the only party with the UK's wellbeing at heart, and their insidious blaming of every one who doesn't fit into their ideals.

I hope that British public will see that while the state of British politics is pretty shameful at the moment, to vote in the likes of the BNP will make things a thousand times worse.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Babies and Children

Why do so many people have issue with children? I am not talking about the "I don't want kids" brigade, or the "obnoxious children are obnoxious" ones, since having kids isn't for everyone, and kids can be horrid. I am talking about those people that see children and babies as something somehow alien. Children aren't aliens, to quote Whitney (try not to puke!) Children are our future. And how we treat them, and how we respond to them has a direct effect on how they develop and what our future will be like.

I appreciate that I am a mother, and therefore somewhat biased, but lets face it, children are the only section of society who we can condemn on mass without thought. Whether it's the screaming baby in the restaurant, (believe me, the parents are more upset about that one than you are, so really can do without the tuts), the tantruming toddler in the supermarket, or the hooded teen walking down the road. All of these people (and they are people) deserve some slack.

I am not saying that children should be free to do what they like, or that there aren't occasions where there are issues. However, kids' problems are our problems, since in the long term we all have to deal with them. My issue is with those who consider children to be subhuman somehow. What the hell does that say about us?

Sunday, May 3, 2009

"On Marriage" Khalil Gibran

"On Marriage"
Khalil Gibran

Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Friday, May 1, 2009

IT'S BELTAINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And on a more personal, but as important level, it's my husband's BIRTHDAY! Happy Birthday!

I am happy to say it actually FEELS like Beltaine today. It's sunny, warm, the blossoms are out, and it is lovely. I am sitting by my patio doors listening to birdsong. It looks like we are finally going to have a proper Summer this year.

I almost killed myself yesterday. Seriously. But not intentionally. I have a serious allergy to Brazil Nuts, but it is pretty rare that I come across them. However in an innocuous cereal bar yesterday, I did. 6% worth. Not a pleasant experience, but fortunately I could tell as soon as it went in my mouth, and I had anti-histimines on me, so I was ok. But yeah, back to checking the labels for me!

Back to Beltaine.

I won't go through all the history since we all really know it, and there are plenty of other sites that can give you that information. To me, it is the start of Summer. We don't usually have the weather to go with Summer, but it feels like it today. I even have pictures of what I think is blossoming Hawthorn on my phone, but typically I can't find the lead to connect it to the pc, so you will have to wait. I think we are going to go into countryside this weekend. I feel the need. We live quite close, but don't go as often as we should.

Here is some Beltaine Mood Music from Youtube.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


What is love? A chemical reaction that causes us to attract suitable mates to reproduce? Or a spiritual, and emotional state that makes us human beings? Is our love for our children just a genetic tie to make us look after them? Or are our children part of our very being, and to love them is what makes us real?

There are so many types of love, the word doesn't really encompass them all. One thing that always makes me wonder is the assumption of the ONE TRUE LOVE.

We are brought up on the ONE TRUE LOVE from the moment we are told stories. Nearly all the fairy tales tell us that we must look for, wait for the ONE TRUE LOVE, and if we don't we are somehow deficient.

But what does this believe in the ONE TRUE LOVE mean? It kinda makes sense to me if you look at it from a "christian" point of view. Of course you would only have ONE TRUE LOVE, because you have only ONE TRUE GOD. The OTL sets up a very neat and tidy paradigm, so we all can fit nicely into our prescribed boxes. We are taught to believe that we can only love one person and that must be our OTL.

But are we limited into loving just one person? Or do we actually just not look down that road less traveled, because, well, because we aren't allowed to? "Nice, well-behaved people" don't have those thoughts or do those things. Yet we all love more than one person in all other areas.

Once we have more than one child, our love isn't shared between the two. It just grows. We love family and friends, in different measure and perhaps with a different love, but it's still love. We don't ever run out of love. So why must we only ever love our OTL?

The OTL dynamic also means that any love before or afterwards is somehow made less, less important and meaningful. If a relationship ends, and another one starts, comparisons are made with the OTL, and usually it ends up with a denial that the previously relationship was the OTL, or that this current relationship will never "quite" come up to scratch.

Love isn't a commodity, it should be given and taken freely and with joy. Maybe one day, we will be able to see what really should be our ONE TRUE LOVE is ourselves, and that sharing love doesn't mean that someone else is going to get less of it.

Funky New Music

New to me anyway. It's very addictive.

Fever Ray

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Profit is God part 2

Gaia Sculpture - Oberon Zell

Post Earth Day thoughts...

I wonder what the state of the world would be in, if our "world leaders" had put the same kind of money into green fuels, averting climate change, etc etc that they have in their desperate efforts to save Capitalism as we know it?

It is so reassuring that the "people in charge" have the right priorities in mind. (That's sarcasm, btw.)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Dear Readers,

You have probably noticed of late that I have been a right miserable old bag. It is more a mood of "argh! at the world" than anything else, as situations beyond our control are making my family's life not as nice as it should be. Sadly, I don't think I am the only one feeling like this at the moment.

However this post is a concerted effort to be a bit more happy. The Sun is trying to shine and warm up, Spring is here and I am sick of being so fucking glum all the time.

So here are some Happy Things. We all deserve more of them in our lives.

"God Says Yes To Me"
Kaylin Haught

I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly
what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I'm telling you is
Yes Yes Yes

funny pictures of dogs with captions
see more dog and puppy pictures

funny pictures of dogs with captions
see more dog and puppy pictures

We need to remember sometimes life is shit enough without any help from us, so we have to make the effort for our own happiness.

Friday, April 10, 2009

A More Uplifting Post.

Taken from Sia's FULL CIRCLE * Earthwise News & Notes Elizabeth Gilbert - A New Way To Think About Creativity

Creativity is something that I have been thinking about a lot of late. I am intending to put creativity back in my life. It has been missing in a big way for many years. (Well, unless you count creating children, which is definitely creating, just not with paintbrushes!)

May add more later.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I know, I know.

I am probably on a list now.


I am not really a fan of dystopian science fiction, but I have quite a lot of it. And because of that I decided to wait a while before I wrote this post. I waited to see if I would calm down. I didn't.

This week we saw the announcement of the Government's new Anti-Terror Strategies. And you know what? They make me really really fucking uncomfortable. Why does it make me feel like this?

Shopping centre and store managers will be among 60,000 workers trained to help deal with terrorist threats.

Will they get special armbands and powers? Are we, the public being trained to spy on each other?

I appreciate that this could be considered quite a simplistic interpretation of what these strategies mean, but I personally think that we could be in danger of slipping down a very dangerous slope. If indeed we aren't already sliding down it with our eyes closed already. (See my post of Phillip Pullman's essay here .)

It is all very well saying that this private group of citizens will only use this training for Terrorist threats, but at the end of the day, who are the Terrorists? At the moment, they are extremist Muslim fundamentalists. What happens when that definition changes? And even before the goalposts change and we have a new enemy to be fearful of, what does this mean to the UK as we know it now. Do we really need specifically trained supermarket supervisors, and security guards watching us while we shop to see if we are doing anything suspicious? What is deemed suspicious? Who makes those judgement calls? Why does this warrant a special type of person looking out for them?

The reasons we are given for why we need these strategies is because this is New, and More Scary. That These People cannot be reasoned with, and we Must Keep Safe and Vigilent. So what, more scary than bombs going off in London parks, and outside major tourist attractions? I grew up with the IRA bombing London. I grew up with my dad coming home to tell us that he had just missed being bombed, and that he had to hang on to the scaffolding on the building he was working on as it shook from the vibrations. Terrorist threats to London are nothing new. There have been no bins in any of London's train stations for years now, and those that do have some kind of litterbags, well, they are see-through. Any unattended bags are watched suspiciously and reported. So what really is the difference?

The difference is now that there will be people around that will be specially trained to watch you and report on you if you are doing anything suspicious.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Is there anybody out there?

Wave please, if you are reading this blog. I am feeling all lonely and unloved. Well, not really but it would be nice to know if someone was here. Otherwise I think I am just barking (mad) at the moon!


The Spring Equinox has been and gone. And the weather was lovely. I didn't do anything on the day itself, but I did get together with a friend over the previous weekend (with glorious weather then too.) It was her first "ritual", although she has been pagan for donkey's years. She is very much not into the "public pagan" thing, and isn't really interested in covens, pagan politics and the like, so we are a very good match.

It was good to know that I could do a ritual from scratch, since although I had worked out a planned ritual, I couldn't find it. (That's the problem with memory sticks, you put them down and they are gone!) My friend felt that it worked, and that's the main thing. We had a bit of Temple Time, which is the phenomenom of being in Circle, feeling like it has taken no time at all to complete, and realising that an hour has gone past.

It is nice to have someone to work with. I have known this person for years now (at least 20!), so finding out that we have so much in common feels like such a blessing. We are working on an exchange of ideas. She is from a more complementary health side of things, whereas I am more esoteric (sort of), so it works out quite well.

Hopefully I will be able to blog more about the Work we do together.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Bitch - Meredith Brooks. LYRICS

(I absolutely love this song. I have claimed it as my theme song. Along with a million other women I imagine! :P)

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet.
Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one

I'm a bitch
I'm a lover
I'm a child,
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell
I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be
A stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing


Just when you think
You've got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool
You do what you do
And don't try to save me.


I'm a bitch
I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt
When you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numbed
I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way.

The DFhs were right.

Pinched from Hecate's Blog Not worksafe, has rude words in it.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Personal stuff. Please walk past if not interested.

I have been having some stomach issues for a while now, and I am finally getting them investigated. The general consensus is either IBS or Coeliac's, but probably IBS. However, just to be safe I have had some pretty invasive tests to see if there is anything to be worried about.

The ultrasound found something. It isn't anything to do with the issues that I was having investigated. It is a 4cm cyst on my right ovary. It looks benign, and the sonographer said it probably wasn't anything to be worried about since they are really common and usually go away of their own accord. It does mean I have to book an appointment with the GP and be rescanned in about 5-6 weeks.

I am really not sure how I am feeling about this. I have googled for information, as you do and the main thing that I am concerned about is that it might not go away and I have to have it surgically removed. I don't think it is anything worse than that, but obviously it does go through your mind.

But I can't worry about it, since until I have something to worry about, there is no point. Yeah. I know, easier said than done.

I also googled the spiritual implications of ovarian cysts. I don't completely follow the belief that such ailments are caused by spiritual imbalances or past actions, but perhaps there might be something to it. It certainly isn't going to hurt looking down these paths. Especially when certain aspects of it make sense.

I have been complaining like mad that I have let my creative side slip by the wayside. There is part of me that longs to get creative again. And I haven't been. And apparently a cyst of the ovaries (which are considered to be part of the woman's creative centre) means that the creative flow that isn't being released is growing where it shouldn't. Makes for some interesting thoughts.

So this time, if this is a hint to get off my arse and get doing, then I am taking it. I can't afford not to.

Monday, March 16, 2009

“Guest” essay by Philip Pullman (From Issac Bonewits' blog)

This was written by the children’s author for the Times Online, then yanked from their website and scrubbed from Google Cache. I think it’s important enough that it should be widely distributed. If Mr. Pullman objects, I’ll be happy to delete it.:


Malevolent Voices that Despise Our Freedoms
by Philip Pullman

Are such things done on Albion’s shore?

The image of this nation that haunts me most powerfully is that of the sleeping giant Albion in William Blake’s prophetic books. Sleep, profound and inveterate slumber: that is the condition of Britain today.

We do not know what is happening to us. In the world outside, great events take place, great figures move and act, great matters unfold, and this nation of Albion murmurs and stirs while malevolent voices whisper in the darkness - the voices of the new laws that are silently strangling the old freedoms the nation still dreams it enjoys.

We are so fast asleep that we don’t know who we are any more. Are we English? Scottish? Welsh? British? More than one of them? One but not another? Are we a Christian nation - after all we have an Established Church - or are we something post-Christian? Are we a secular state? Are we a multifaith state? Are we anything we can all agree on and feel proud of?


* £34bn cost of state-run surveillance databases
* Former spy chief says UK is now a police state
* First ID cards are to be issued within weeks
* COMMENT: that’s a bit rich, Dame Stella

The new laws whisper:

You don’t know who you are

You’re mistaken about yourself

We know better than you do what you consist of, what labels apply to you, which facts about you are important and which are worthless

We do not believe you can be trusted to know these things, so we shall know them for you

And if we take against you, we shall remove from your possession the only proof we shall allow to be recognised

The sleeping nation dreams it has the freedom to speak its mind. It fantasises about making tyrants cringe with the bluff bold vigour of its ancient right to express its opinions in the street. This is what the new laws say about that:

Expressing an opinion is a dangerous activity

Whatever your opinions are, we don’t want to hear them

So if you threaten us or our friends with your opinions we shall treat you like the rabble you are

And we do not want to hear you arguing about it

So hold your tongue and forget about protesting

What we want from you is acquiescence

The nation dreams it is a democratic state where the laws were made by freely elected representatives who were answerable to the people. It used to be such a nation once, it dreams, so it must be that nation still. It is a sweet dream.

You are not to be trusted with laws

So we shall put ourselves out of your reach

We shall put ourselves beyond your amendment or abolition

You do not need to argue about any changes we make, or to debate them, or to send your representatives to vote against them

You do not need to hold us to account

You think you will get what you want from an inquiry?

Who do you think you are?

What sort of fools do you think we are?

The nation’s dreams are troubled, sometimes; dim rumours reach our sleeping ears, rumours that all is not well in the administration of justice; but an ancient spell murmurs through our somnolence, and we remember that the courts are bound to seek the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and we turn over and sleep soundly again.

And the new laws whisper:

We do not want to hear you talking about truth

Truth is a friend of yours, not a friend of ours

We have a better friend called hearsay, who is a witness we can always rely on

We do not want to hear you talking about innocence

Innocent means guilty of things not yet done

We do not want to hear you talking about the right to silence

You need to be told what silence means: it means guilt

We do not want to hear you talking about justice

Justice is whatever we want to do to you

And nothing else

Are we conscious of being watched, as we sleep? Are we aware of an ever-open eye at the corner of every street, of a watching presence in the very keyboards we type our messages on? The new laws don’t mind if we are. They don’t think we care about it.

We want to watch you day and night

We think you are abject enough to feel safe when we watch you

We can see you have lost all sense of what is proper to a free people

We can see you have abandoned modesty

Some of our friends have seen to that

They have arranged for you to find modesty contemptible

In a thousand ways they have led you to think that whoever does not want to be watched must have something shameful to hide

We want you to feel that solitude is frightening and unnatural

We want you to feel that being watched is the natural state of things

One of the pleasant fantasies that consoles us in our sleep is that we are a sovereign nation, and safe within our borders. This is what the new laws say about that:

We know who our friends are

And when our friends want to have words with one of you

We shall make it easy for them to take you away to a country where you will learn that you have more fingernails than you need

It will be no use bleating that you know of no offence you have committed under British law

It is for us to know what your offence is

Angering our friends is an offence

It is inconceivable to me that a waking nation in the full consciousness of its freedom would have allowed its government to pass such laws as the Protection from Harassment Act (1997), the Crime and Disorder Act (1998), the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act (2000), the Terrorism Act (2000), the Criminal Justice and Police Act (2001), the Anti-Terrorism, Crime and Security Act (2001), the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Extension Act (2002), the Criminal Justice Act (2003), the Extradition Act (2003), the Anti-Social Behaviour Act (2003), the Domestic Violence, Crime and Victims Act (2004), the Civil Contingencies Act (2004), the Prevention of Terrorism Act (2005), the Inquiries Act (2005), the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act (2005), not to mention a host of pending legislation such as the Identity Cards Bill, the Coroners and Justice Bill, and the Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill.


And those laws say:

Sleep, you stinking cowards

Sweating as you dream of rights and freedoms

Freedom is too hard for you

We shall decide what freedom is

Sleep, you vermin

Sleep, you scum.

Philip Pullman will deliver a keynote speech at the Convention on Modern Liberty at the Institute of Education in London tomorrow (Feb. 28, 2009).


The words he is attributing to the Power Elite sound frighteningly familiar to this American. Pass them on.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Response to my email

Apparently they will be using the offerings in an appropriate manner. It is unlikely that I will be going, but lets hope so.

Sent this to some people.

I found a group online that are having a weekend do. In their "stuff to bring" list, they have "biodegradable items such as, flowers, seeds, ribbons and crystals".

So I sent them this,
Dear all at ...............,

I found your site and read with interest about your retreat this year. It sounds like a lovely weekend, which I would love to attend. However, I have some concerns about your list of things to bring with you to the retreat. You list biodegradable items such as flowers, seeds, ribbons and crystals. What would be done with these items? I am sure that you are aware that leaving items as "offerings" is something to be frowned upon if not done appropriately. All of the above items if placed in the countryside without consideration to where they are being put are at best unsightly for others and at worst a menace to the local flora and fauna. Certainly seeds and flowers would hopefully be eaten by the local wildlife, but ribbons and crystals? If the ribbons are completely natural they will degrade eventually, but not quickly. As for crystals, they won't biodegrade at all, and are considered by some to have very negative effects on the local "unseen and unknown".

I hope you can appreciate where I am coming from with my concerns. While I am sure that you would act properly with such items, it isn't unknown for sacred sites to be clogged with debris from ritual work.

Thank you.


I will be interested to see what their response is...

Friday, March 6, 2009

Patriarchy hurts men too.

Patriarchy doesn't just suck for the women. Let's not kid ourselves, it's pretty shit for men too.

No decent role-models
Who exactly are men meant to aspire to be like? Sporting heroes? Please! Politicians? I don't think so. God? Jesus? Yeah, right! Seriously, sit down and try and think of a decent, real, honest role model. It is really hard to do. Since even the most enlightened men usually have some major issue going on. (Often with women, but what's new there?)The ultimate role model God is a babykilling, hating psychopath when you get down to it. (Read your bible, it's all there). So no wonder men are lost in our starvation culture.

Violent culture idealised
Men must be STRONG. For what exactly? Fighting wars? Or working in an office? The dog eat dog heirachy of the average office, where profit is God is based on the idea that to survive one must kill or be killed. Performance related pay where to get your bonus you must go above and beyond what your actual job is, well, what happens next year when you have to suppass that goal? Work to live, or live to work? What are you doing? Our whole society is geared towards a way of surviving, rather than living. When war and profit are the most important factors of how and why we "live", no wonder we are all losing the plot.

Emotionally crippling
What emotions are men allowed to show openly? Joy? Only up to a point, too much and they are a bit soft. Fear? Only if it manifests in anger. Sadness? Only if it manifests in anger or if your footie team loses. Love? Only if by love you mean sex. Now, of course there are blokes out there that are open with how they feel, but society tends to look at them in a slightly bemused attitude. Like it doesn't know how to deal with them.

Two examples that really really piss me off. They reduce men into either petulant difficult spoilt children, or immoral sociapaths. The first is the response to women on how to treat their men when they have a baby. It basically tells women that they must find time to reassure their men that they still love them, and that they aren't being replaced by the baby. "Make sure you give your man that special time"...WHAT THE FUCK!?! Yeah, if you are talking to a 2 year old then fine. But this is a GROWN UP MAN! You have the intellectual capacity to understand that a baby is a helpless tiny individual that needs 24 hour care. YOU DON'T! Deal with it. It's your baby too. It isn't a case of you "help", a baby is as much your responsibility as the mums. Thankfully, most of the men I know, do realise that they are the adult in this situation, and therefore devote their time and love to their new member of their family. Without being jealous about it. THAT'S WHAT A REAL MAN DOES.
The second one. That men have no sexual control. If there is a woman and she looks like she is "up for it", then you can't help yourselves. What an absolutely patronising crock of shite. Being drunk isn't an excuse (since it isn't for us women either). WE ALL have responsibility for our actions. If a women is guilty for being pissed up and dressed in a provocative manner, then the man is as guilty for behaving like an immoral sociopath. It is that simple. You are the ones in control of your dicks, not the other way round. So it shouldn't matter what the situation is, you can stop. To try to imply anything else is to admit that men are somehow inferior to all other mammalian life. And this woman knows that you are not.

Where can you go under patriarchy? We are all made to fit into the role it sets out for us, whether it is right for us or not. Expections from society as a whole expects us to behave in a set way. And it isn't just women that are trapped. You are trapped by lack of real opportunity, real adventure, real meaningful power. We have completely forgotten what it like to be truly free. And if you are gay, well, that's just wrong as far as patriarchy goes. Not on at all, young man!

Ultimately patriarchy kills men. But it's alright, since us women are just here to replace you as quickly as possible. The status quo that says you are working towards this, that and the other, but really you are just another cog in the corporate wheel that is killing you off, and replacing you with the next cog. Patriarchy does not give a shit about you. You are the flesh that makes its money.


Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Isn't it interesting how long some men stay "liberal" when it's a choice between his job and HER job? "Oh yeah, I am all for equality!" Yeah, right. Until it is a choice of being equal in who keeps their job! Let the part-timers (predominantly women) and those on maternity leave (umm, women) lose their jobs first!

The old chestnuts of "men need to support their families", "women must choose between a career and having babies". Since apparently men don't have babies. That's quite outstanding scientific news. I am surprised there hasn't been more made of it. Since I had always thought men that had babies were called FATHERS!

So yeah, the title of this post stands for FUCK RIGHT OFF, YOU WANKERS!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

New community on Ning

It is the next stage of evolution of the Yahoogroup of the same name. It is quite small at the moment, but hopefully will gain momentum as it goes on. It is a site for Dianic women to get together and interact with each other. We have even set up our first meeting in Real Life!

Now I know that Dianic Wicca has a bit of a reputation. I have even heard Dianics called the Daleks of the Goddess. (Nice, don't you think!) But the stereotype of misandric seperatists is very outdated. (IMHO anyway.) Like all movements there is progress and evolution, changes that make the Dianic movement inclusive and relevent.

I hope that this site will go some way in showing this. So if you are a woman with witchy and feminist leanings, come and have a look to see what you think.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Some things I just think are weird...

A Christian Witch
A Jewish* Witch
and any other variation of an established patriarchal religion that demonised witchcraft and magick use, and believes only in the One True GodTM Witch.

I just don't understand it, and I have never had anyone explain it in a way that makes me understand. I have had plenty of people tell me that people can believe anything and any way they like. Which is undeniable. That doesn't mean I think they are right in what they believe.

This apparently makes me Teh Evilz and Big Bad Michelle. I just wish someone would explain how it is possible to put the two together and make a viable, workable spirituality? Yes, take influence from it, take inspiration from it, but actually calling yourself a Christian Witch?

Why it doesn't work for me:
-Whether you consider witchcraft to be a spiritual path, or a structure of occult skills, both of those views are not compatible with the doctrine of Christian belief. As a Christian, Jesus Christ is the one and only One True God. No Goddess, no Mother Earth, no Female Divine. There can be no divination, no spellwork, no idols, nothing that is actually Witchcraft. So what is it you are actually doing if you are a Christian Witch? (Same goes for all the other religions that have an anti-occult doctrine.)
-It ignores the history of Christianity. The history of violence, anti-homosexuality, anti-women, all those "goodies" that fill the Bible.
-It smacks of an inferiority complex. Being a Witch isn't good enough, it has to be pre-fixed with a label that gives it a respectable meaning. Why can't you embrace and reclaim the word WITCH? If you walk like a duck, and quack like a duck, why do you pre-fix the word duck with chicken?
-It is insulting to Christianity. Not that I really care, but it is. Christianity and all its fellows have established doctrine and laws that you are meant to subscribe to.

If someone can give me some clarity on this, I would be really grateful. I don't think I would ever really change my mind about just being a Witch, but I would love an intelligent and non-emotive answer to my questions. Other than just being mean and horrid! :P

*Being Jewish is not only a religious path, it is a heritage. You are born a Jew. So technically, if you choose the path of Witchcraft, then you are still Jewish and a Witch. A good example of this is Starhawk. She is proud of her Jewish heritage, but still calls herself a Witch...

Not a Jewitch...

Disillusionment...part deux

I have started to tentatively put my nose back out on the pagan scene. I was quite active a few years back, but after some horrible experiences I pulled my head back in. But I do miss it. I am not entirely sure why, but I want people that feel the same way about things as I do, or at the very least people that don't think I am a freak for feeling the way I do.

I just find that a lot of pagans/witches/insert your appropriate label here just don't seem to be on the same mindset as me. Now I have never expected people to be exactly the same as me, but I do get tired of being the odd one out.

I often have the conversation with my husband where we ponder if we really are the weirdos. The conclusion that we have come to is that we must be. We look at our peers, and we have very little in common with them. Our concerns and priorities aren't the same. And I just don't understand why that is. My concerns and priorities are based on what I consider to be common sense. But that appears to be different from what others consider common sense.

I am very disillusioned with People at the moment. I am just not that sure what to do about it.

Monday, February 23, 2009


The meaning of disillusionment is "freeing from false belief or illusions". At face value this sounds quite positive, doesn't it? Unfortunately I think most of the time we become disillusioned when something we have believed to be true is found to be false. Which isn't necessarily a freedom that we always want. It might be the truth, but the truth can be cold, harsh and unwelcome.

I try very hard not to be a cynical, pessimistic person. It is becoming increasingly hard at the moment. I hate being in situations where I am watching from the outside and am helpless to change. All I can do is sit and wait it out.

What does this mean to me? There could be some radical changes happening in the not so distant future. They are changes that were on the cards anyway, however being prematurely pushed into the situation before we are ready could well be very uncomfortable.

To Be Continued...maybe...