Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Thunder, Perfect Mind

The Nag Hammadi Library
The Thunder, Perfect Mind

Translated by George W. MacRae

I was sent forth from the power,
and I have come to those who reflect upon me,
and I have been found among those who seek after me.
Look upon me, you who reflect upon me,
and you hearers, hear me.
You who are waiting for me, take me to yourselves.
And do not banish me from your sight.
And do not make your voice hate me, nor your hearing.
Do not be ignorant of me anywhere or any time. Be on your guard!
Do not be ignorant of me.

For I am the first and the last.
I am the honored one and the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am and the daughter.
I am the members of my mother.
I am the barren one
and many are her sons.
I am she whose wedding is great,
and I have not taken a husband.
I am the midwife and she who does not bear.
I am the solace of my labor pains.
I am the bride and the bridegroom,
and it is my husband who begot me.
I am the mother of my father
and the sister of my husband
and he is my offspring.
I am the slave of him who prepared me.
I am the ruler of my offspring.
But he is the one who begot me before the time on a birthday.
And he is my offspring in (due) time,
and my power is from him.
I am the staff of his power in his youth,
and he is the rod of my old age.
And whatever he wills happens to me.
I am the silence that is incomprehensible
and the idea whose remembrance is frequent.
I am the voice whose sound is manifold
and the word whose appearance is multiple.
I am the utterance of my name.

Why, you who hate me, do you love me,
and hate those who love me?
You who deny me, confess me,
and you who confess me, deny me.
You who tell the truth about me, lie about me,
and you who have lied about me, tell the truth about me.
You who know me, be ignorant of me,
and those who have not known me, let them know me.

For I am knowledge and ignorance.
I am shame and boldness.
I am shameless; I am ashamed.
I am strength and I am fear.
I am war and peace.
Give heed to me.
I am the one who is disgraced and the great one.

Give heed to my poverty and my wealth.
Do not be arrogant to me when I am cast out upon the earth,
and you will find me in those that are to come.
And do not look upon me on the dung-heap
nor go and leave me cast out,
and you will find me in the kingdoms.
And do not look upon me when I am cast out among those who
are disgraced and in the least places,
nor laugh at me.
And do not cast me out among those who are slain in violence.
But I, I am compassionate and I am cruel.

Be on your guard!
Do not hate my obedience
and do not love my self-control.
In my weakness, do not forsake me,
and do not be afraid of my power.
For why do you despise my fear
and curse my pride?
But I am she who exists in all fears
and strength in trembling.
I am she who is weak,
and I am well in a pleasant place.
I am senseless and I am wise.

Why have you hated me in your counsels?
For I shall be silent among those who are silent,
and I shall appear and speak,
Why then have you hated me, you Greeks?
Because I am a barbarian among the barbarians?
For I am the wisdom of the Greeks
and the knowledge of the barbarians.
I am the judgement of the Greeks and of the barbarians.
I am the one whose image is great in Egypt
and the one who has no image among the barbarians.
I am the one who has been hated everywhere
and who has been loved everywhere.
I am the one whom they call Life,
and you have called Death.
I am the one whom they call Law,
and you have called Lawlessness.
I am the one whom you have pursued,
and I am the one whom you have seized.
I am the one whom you have scattered,
and you have gathered me together.
I am the one before whom you have been ashamed,
and you have been shameless to me.
I am she who does not keep festival,
and I am she whose festivals are many.
I, I am godless,
and I am the one whose God is great.
I am the one whom you have reflected upon,
and you have scorned me.
I am unlearned,
and they learn from me.
I am the one that you have despised,
and you reflect upon me.
I am the one whom you have hidden from,
and you appear to me.
But whenever you hide yourselves,
I myself will appear.
For whenever you appear,
I myself will hide from you.
Those who have [...] to it [...] senselessly [...].

Take me [... understanding] from grief.
and take me to yourselves from understanding and grief.
And take me to yourselves from places that are ugly and in ruin,
and rob from those which are good even though in ugliness.
Out of shame, take me to yourselves shamelessly;
and out of shamelessness and shame,
upbraid my members in yourselves.
And come forward to me, you who know me
and you who know my members,
and establish the great ones among the small first creatures.
Come forward to childhood,
and do not despise it because it is small and it is little.
And do not turn away greatnesses in some parts from the smallnesses,
for the smallnesses are known from the greatnesses.

Why do you curse me and honor me?
You have wounded and you have had mercy.
Do not separate me from the first ones whom you have known.
And do not cast anyone out nor turn anyone away
[...] turn you away and [... know] him not.
What is mine [...].
I know the first ones and those after them know me.

But I am the mind of [...] and the rest of [...].
I am the knowledge of my inquiry,
and the finding of those who seek after me,
and the command of those who ask of me,
and the power of the powers in my knowledge
of the angels, who have been sent at my word,
and of gods in their seasons by my counsel,
and of spirits of every man who exists with me,
and of women who dwell within me.
I am the one who is honored, and who is praised,
and who is despised scornfully.
I am peace,
and war has come because of me.
And I am an alien and a citizen.
I am the substance and the one who has no substance.

Those who are without association with me are ignorant of me,
and those who are in my substance are the ones who know me.
Those who are close to me have been ignorant of me,
and those who are far away from me are the ones who have known me.
On the day when I am close to you, you are far away from me,
and on the day when I am far away from you, I am close to you.

[I am ...] within.
[I am ...] of the natures.
I am [...] of the creation of the spirits.
[...] request of the souls.
I am control and the uncontrollable.
I am the union and the dissolution.
I am the abiding and I am the dissolution.
I am the one below,
and they come up to me.
I am the judgment and the acquittal.
I, I am sinless,
and the root of sin derives from me.
I am lust in (outward) appearance,
and interior self-control exists within me.
I am the hearing which is attainable to everyone
and the speech which cannot be grasped.
I am a mute who does not speak,
and great is my multitude of words.

Hear me in gentleness, and learn of me in roughness.
I am she who cries out,
and I am cast forth upon the face of the earth.
I prepare the bread and my mind within.
I am the knowledge of my name.
I am the one who cries out,
and I listen.
I appear and [...] walk in [...] seal of my [...].
I am [...] the defense [...].
I am the one who is called Truth
and iniquity [...].

You honor me [...] and you whisper against me.
You who are vanquished, judge them (who vanquish you)
before they give judgment against you,
because the judge and partiality exist in you.
If you are condemned by this one, who will acquit you?
Or, if you are acquitted by him, who will be able to detain you?
For what is inside of you is what is outside of you,
and the one who fashions you on the outside
is the one who shaped the inside of you.
And what you see outside of you, you see inside of you;
it is visible and it is your garment.

Hear me, you hearers
and learn of my words, you who know me.
I am the hearing that is attainable to everything;
I am the speech that cannot be grasped.
I am the name of the sound
and the sound of the name.
I am the sign of the letter
and the designation of the division.
And I [...].
(3 lines missing)
[...] light [...].
[...] hearers [...] to you
[...] the great power.
And [...] will not move the name.
[...] to the one who created me.
And I will speak his name.

Look then at his words
and all the writings which have been completed.
Give heed then, you hearers
and you also, the angels and those who have been sent,
and you spirits who have arisen from the dead.
For I am the one who alone exists,
and I have no one who will judge me.

For many are the pleasant forms which exist in numerous sins,
and incontinencies,
and disgraceful passions,
and fleeting pleasures,
which (men) embrace until they become sober
and go up to their resting place.
And they will find me there,
and they will live,
and they will not die again.

Selection made from James M. Robinson, ed., The Nag Hammadi Library, revised edition. HarperCollins, San Francisco, 1990.

A bit US orientated, but...

Are you sure you aren't a Feminist?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Really, really sorry, Grandad, but...

I find myself in agreement with a Conservative politician. And of people, bloody Ken Clarke!

But lets face it, he is apparently slagging off David Cameron, so all good there.

Ken Clarke calls Cameron's marriage policy 'social engineering'

Glad to be British

It isn't often that I can say I am proud to be British. Which is quite a sorry state of affairs. However, because I am a Brit, because we have a free NHS (no matter how much we moan about it) this means we have FREE contraception.

Living the the Free and Glorious US of A, you don't get this. As we all know health is something you HAVE to pay for in the states. So if you are suddenly ill, or have an accident, you had better pray to whatever Gods you believe in that your Health Insurance is in order. If it isn't, or you don't have any...well, from the outsider's point of view, it looks like you are screwed.

The reason why I am blogging about this, is because of this here. Hekate's Blog What a sorry situation that is, where politians are actually saying the contraception has no bearing on economics. Even I, who failed her Socialogy A'level understand the links. If women have better contraception, then they can control the size of their families, which impact on how much help from the government they take. It can also free up an extra worker, which makes more money for the economy. It isn't bloody rocket science.

It also links into my rant about Pro-Choice vs. Pro-Life. If the Pro-Lifers put as much time, energy and money into helping end poverty, increase sexual education and put money into free contraception, than villifying women for making difficult choices then there would be less abortion! A complete winwin situation. But no, that just makes too much sense.

So yeah, to my US chums out there, I am really sorry that your government can't get their heads around the fact that a National Free Health Service does not equal Socialism, and I wish they would pull their heads out of their arses.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Mercury in Retrograde

It is nearly finished...honest!

In 2009, Mercury is in retrograde from…
January 11th to February 1st
May 8th to May 30th
September 8th to September 29th
December 27th to January 15th (2010)

This is a great little article about Mercury in Retrograde here; How to survive Mercury in Retrograde.

I always forget that it is happening, and then wonder why ever thing is going to crap. Well, those dates are there to remind me! :P

Friday, January 23, 2009

Rain Rain Rain

I like rain, but I am really feeling the SAD at the moment. I look out of the window and it is murky, grey and damp. I think it stems from the dull summer last year, dull autumn and dull winter we have had. We had one week of summer holiday last year that I would call summer. Fortunately it was the week we chose to go on holiday, but I am missing sunshine at the moment.

Imbolc is on it's way, but the weather at the moment is so changable that the signs of Spring are all over the place. Some days there is a definate tang of Spring in the air. And then by the end of the week, we would have snow. I hark back to a previous post about the WOTY and I think we will have to look at following it as a series of calendered events rather than the seasons themselves as such, since the seasons are such a mess. On one hand, I think we do live in a modern society, so we need to adapt to make sense, but on the other, there is a real sense of loss because of the reasons WHY we have to make these changes.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

John Keats - La Belle Dame Sans Merci

O WHAT can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge has wither’d from the lake,
And no birds sing.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms!
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The squirrel’s granary is full,
And the harvest’s done.

I see a lily on thy brow
With anguish moist and fever dew,
And on thy cheeks a fading rose
Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the meads,
Full beautiful—a faery’s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.

I made a garland for her head,
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She look’d at me as she did love,
And made sweet moan.

I set her on my pacing steed,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A faery’s song.

She found me roots of relish sweet,
And honey wild, and manna dew,
And sure in language strange she said—
“I love thee true.”

She took me to her elfin grot,
And there she wept, and sigh’d fill sore,
And there I shut her wild wild eyes
With kisses four.

And there she lulled me asleep,
And there I dream’d—Ah! woe betide!
The latest dream I ever dream’d
On the cold hill’s side.

I saw pale kings and princes too,
Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They cried—“La Belle Dame sans Merci
Hath thee in thrall!”

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gaped wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill’s side.

And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely loitering,
Though the sedge is wither’d from the lake,
And no birds sing.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Out with the old, in with the new.

Today Barak Obama becomes the President of the United States of America. I am not particularly hyper about it, since I am not an American. However, it is a historic day. If I was American I probably would be very excited, I am quietly hopeful. It would be nice to have a decent leader of one of the most powerful countries in the world.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Ummm, wtf?

Bit political this, but apparently the Extradition agreement between the UK and the US are such, that if the US government decide that they want a British citizen to stand trial in America then there is pretty much nothing that the UK will or can do about it. HOWEVER, if the British government want to do the same to a US citizen, they have to have probable cause, and jump through a loads of hoops!

Article from The Times

What the hell is that all about? I have no issue with lawful extradition, but we all need to be doing the same thing. The thing that gets me the most though, is the British government say there is nothing they can do about the situation, however, they are the ones that made the agreement up in the first place! *Head meet Desk!*

Invitation to The Fourth Annual Brigid in the Blogosphere Poetry Slam - taken from Moonroot's blog

Feel free to copy the following to your blog and spread the word. Let poetry bless the blogosphere once again!

WHAT: A Bloggers (Silent) Poetry Reading

WHEN: Anytime February 2, 2009

WHERE: Your blog

WHY: To celebrate the Feast of Brigid, aka Groundhog Day

HOW: Select a poem you like - by a favorite poet or one of your own - to post February 2nd.

RSVP: If you plan to publish, feel free to leave a comment and link on this post, where the Slam originated. Or link to whoever you hear about this from and a mighty web of poetry will be spun. Moonroot's Blog

Feel free to pass this invitation on to any and all bloggers. Thanks to Reya, who began what is now an annual event, and Deborah Oak for continuing it.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Hippy Puppy!

funny pictures of dogs with captions
see more puppies

Just to make you smile. :D

A note to my Prime Minister

Dear Prime Minister

I chose to become a beneficial owner of Greenpeace's land on the
proposed third runway site because I disagree vehemently with the
decision to built another runway.

Your comments that it will be a "green runway" are meaningless. There
is no such thing as a "green runway". Just because a few planes might
have slightly more efficiant engines does not negate all the wasted
energy and resources in building it in the first place.

You should be looking at ways in which to reduce people's reliance on
air travel. We need to drastically reduce emissions in both aviation and
road transport, so adding more planes in the sky, and cars on the road
is blatantly not the answer.

Climate change is one of THE most important issues of our times, and it
is about time that politicians take it seriously. I don't want my
children to grow up in a world that we have irreversibly damaged. And we
are very close to doing that.

I am from a family of ardent Labour supporters. However, unless Green
issues are taken much more seriously by yourself and your Party, I will
no longer be voting for you.



Click here if you want to do the same.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Friendships (my musings and crappy self psychobabble)

My feelings about friendships are quite mixed. They have been for quite some time now. Throughout my life I have had friendships with people that haven't been particularly healthy. I think a lot of women at some point in their lives have the "Best Friend/Worst Enemy". That friend that is your BFF, yet manages to undermine you and make you feel small at every given opportunity. I spent my entire secondary school life best friends with "Mandy". Why? I have no idea. She made me feel like a great big, fat, stupid heffalump. Yet I didn't have the guts to break away, and on the rare occasions when I tried it, she manipulated the situation so most of my other friends would suddenly be on her side.

Once I left school we rarely saw each other, but now I have been thinking about it, I haven't really had a consistant BFF ever since. (Not in the sense of seeing regularly, iykwim). Is that down to opportunity, or did "Mandy" make me close off part of myself that I find it really difficult to trust people? How sad if that is the case, since it has been nearly 20 years now since I left school.

Don't get me wrong, I do have some great friends. But the RL ones are few and far between. (Literally!) Cornwall, Liverpool, New Zealand, so not people I can just pop around the corner and have a cuppa with on a whim. Other people who are closer, are harder work. I know people have their own lives, my own keeps me busy enough, but sometimes I do feel that it's always me that makes the effort. And then, on the other hand, I know I am equally crap on occasion.

However, I am married, and have been with my husband since I was eighteen. (Just realised that in 3 years time we will have been together for 20 years! HOLY SHIT!) Does that mean that I now forgoe the best friend? It has felt like that, with some people I am no longer friends with. I am still me, even if I am married, and being in a serious partnership doesn't mean we are a twinned set. I can and do and want to do things on my own.

I am finding it harder and harder to find people that I know I could develop a good, longlasting friendships with. I get on with people, and have mums to talk to on the school run, but that is about it. Nothing more. And being honest, I am quite lonely at the moment.

What do I want from a friendship at the moment;

1) Local - sounds silly, but it would be nice to have a mate that I could just go and see on a whim. Ring them up for a chat and a cuppa.
2) Gets my sense of humour (or lack of it on occasion) - I am a bit weird sometimes.
3) Nonjudgemental - I can be pretty out there on some ideas. As mentioned before I can be a bit weird.
4) Similar outlooks on life - we don't have to agree on everything, but generally a greenie, liberal pagan type would be good.
5) Mature - not necessarily in age, but I am sick of people behaving like teenagers when they haven't seen their teens for about 20 years. Being silly occasionally is fine, but being a twat 24/7 will just get on my nerves.
6) Not stupid, ignorant nor arrogant - super intellect isn't necessary, but having a mind and using it is a good thing.
7) Open-minded - willing to listen to anything and everything.

It seems a lot to ask for, but I would hope I would be able to offer someone what I ask for from them.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Because the Magick works...

A lesbian woman* was gangraped by 4 men in San Francisco. Z Budapest facilitated this ritual. With a week of this ritual, all 4 men were in custody and charged. (Here is a link for more details on the ritual, and why it was needed. )
I have never been involved in magick of this nature and thank the Goddess I haven't ever needed to. It is satisfying to know that all which was asked for, was received.

There was a small part of me though, that wonders about the British pagan scene as I know it. (And I will be the first to admit, that I have been pretty much out of it for the past 3 or so years.) Would a ritual of this nature be pulled off over here? Do we have such a community? I know that individual groups are around, and probably doing stuff like this, but the community as a whole? I dunno about that. A call out across the forums for such a ritual? Sorry. Can't see it happening.

I know I have lost faith in the Pagan Public. I know where it stems from. Being involved heavily in some forums, and trying to make something of them was one of the biggest headaches in my life until I moved away from them. I know everyone is really proud of the phrase "herding cats". You know, that "getting pagans to agree is as easy as herding cats." No, herding cats is easy, just open a tin of tuna. Everyone is so proud of being "individual" they have lost sight of the fact we are as individual as everyone else is.

Being individual doesn't make your way right. Being individual doesn't mean that you should always come first. Being individual doesn't mean that you can't work towards the same goal. Being individual means you are strong in your beliefs, but not unbending to change. It means being different, without being difficult.

I suppose what I am saying is that being an individual does not mean being a obnoxious pedantic prat. And that I wish that I could find the faith to know that if the need arose, the pagan community would come together and kick arse.

*I know, I know, what other type of lesbian is there other than a woman, but just writing lesbian didn't look right, but lesbian woman looks clunky. And although I don't know all the details I am making the distinction because it was because she was a woman and a lesbian that she was pulled from her car and attacked so viciously.

Ickle bitty puddytat!

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

Am spreading some Awwwwwwwww, since you can never get enough.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

An example of my blackthumbedness.

It looks like I have killed my chilli plant. :(


Nearly a month from my last post. My excuse is illness, holidays, birthdays and Seasonal Celebrations, so I think that is fair enough really.

I am aiming to spend less time on the interwebz, and get a life again. However, what I want to do is spend more of my time writing, so hopefully if I manage to churn out anything decent, I will post it here.

2009 has started. Conflict in Israel and Gaza, credit crunch, same old, same old really. While I don't want to live in a complete state of avoidance and ignorance, I am trying to seperate myself from the news. I have come to realise (and had it pointed out in an astrology reading) that I worry too much about everything, and I let things I have little or no control over severely affect my mood. Much of the month of December was spent in a mild depression over the state of the world and the future of my children. Even coming to the conclusion that I need to up my skills, since the kids would be better off with Neil if the world goes to hell in a handbag. I didn't watch the new series of Survivers, since my thoughts were dwelling much too much in that kind of reality.

In some senses, my feelings haven't changed that much. However, my rational side has taken over somewhat and I realise that it won't be this year it all goes bad, so I will be investigating skills I hadn't thought of before. I don't care if it makes me sound like some kind of survialist freak. It is just how I am feeling at the moment.

ION, I have not got Coeliac's. Which is good in the sense that I don't have it. Obviously. However it would have at least been a diagnosis, so I am having to have "further investigations" for my dodgey tummy issues.

Josie has 4 teeth, 2 bottom, and 2 top ones. She is walking and trying to run, and generally being a independent feisty little madam. Much like her mum! Owen is growing like a very tall weed, and Neil is getting along at work. Hopefully we will be looking at moving next year, and things will all be good in our part of the universe.

That's all for now. I aim to be posting something else soon. And I won't be offline yet. But probably soon.