Saturday, September 8, 2012

All I Am.

You call me fat
To try and make me cry.
What’s it got to do with you?
I always wonder why.
My body is mine,
And none of me is yours.
To do with as I wish,
To please and adore.
My body is made of beauty 
And has created life.
My body makes me a mother
And makes me a wife.
My body holds my spirit inside.
There gets no better than that.
So I really don't need to give a shit,
If you think all I am is fat.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides.
Just like hopes springing high
Still I rise.

Do you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Digging' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness.
But still, like air, I rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I am a black ocean, leaping and wide
Welling and swelling I bear the tide
Leaving behind the nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors grave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave,
I rise
I rise
I rise.


Friday, July 20, 2012

Fifty Shades of WTF?

     I have finally finished reading the Fifty Shades trilogy. And Wow! Just Wow... but so not in a good way. Firstly however,I will make the caveat that if it floats your boat, then absolutely Fair Play to you. It just sank mine to the depths. I think that this probably is my biggest issue with the series. I have no issue, if you find these books sexy. What I do have a massive issue with, is the assumption that all women should find this sexy. These books have been touted to be ’the user’s guide for women’. While this may have been said with a certain amount of humour, I don’t find this funny. To be told that this is what all women want is both highly irritating and nauseating. 
The media explosion surrounding these books fills me with disgust. Along with the Twilight fervour, the open acceptance of the constant manipulation and denigration of women is unreal. I mention Twilight because it is well known that the characters Edward and Bella were the inspiration for EL James’ stories. Both sets of novels present damaged and dangerous ’ideals’ of relationships. Downtrodden and despondent teenager Bella and her manipulative, but rich and beautiful Edward with his barely contained violence. Naive Ana, twenty one years old, but almost idiotically (and unrealistically) innocent and the rich, handsome, but damaged Christian with his barely contained violence. I can’t imagine that barely contained violence is s turn on for most women. Books like this make it seem that it is the case. 
I know girls as young as nine who have read the Twilight saga. Learning that it is okay for an one hundred and eleven year old man to ask you to lie to your friends and family, to sit in your bedroom and watch you sleep. That it is okay for him to dictate all the boundaries within your illicit relationship. To tell you he wants to kill you. That all this is fine, as long as he is beautiful and tells you that he loves you.
Ana and Christian’s relationship is no less dysfunctional. His irrational need to control Ana’s every move. His constant bullying that’s for her own good since she is unable to care for herself properly. His statements that he really would like to hurt her. Again, this is portrayed as acceptable. Christian constantly warns Ana that he is no good for her, he isn't what she wants or needs, but at the same time manipulating her into wanting to save the sad little boy he truly is inside. Both girls are made out to be at fault for wanting what they shouldn't have. 
This once again perpetuates the idea that woman are somehow at fault for succumbing to such manipulations. It is always her fault if she believed the ’I Love Yous’ after the nasty comments and vicious blows. 
These novels set a dangerous precedent that if he is gorgeous and loves you despite all of your faults (that he has pointed out to you), then none of his behaviour is unforgivable. And anyway, if it is, then your love can change him, no matter what. Both Bella and Ana behave in ways that shocked me as a reader, both in their naivity and passivity. Although they are the lead character in the books, they just didn't make me have any emotional rapport with them. They are all cardboard cutouts of human beings, no real emotions, just superficiality and sparkle.
The BDSM within the books didn't shock me in any way. As Christian describes sex with no toys or added extras as “vanilla”, the “kinky fuckery” is probably raspberry ripple at most.  What did annoy me a lot though, was the impression given that those with BDSM tendencies have them due to some kind of damage that has been done to them in the past. 
Christian is into BDSM because when his birthmother was a “crack-whore” who neglected him while her pimps abused him. He was adopted at four, but then was sexually assaulted and abused for years by an older woman (a family friend).  Not only do all Christian’s issues stem from abuse from women, there is a disturbing implication that BDSM is caused by some kind of sexual abuse. BDSM is a lifestyle choice, probably not understood by the majority of people outside of the culture, but it isn’t something evil and nasty. Although characters within the books state there is nothing wrong with it, there is very much the underlying message that there is.
Plot aside, it just isn't particularly well written. Especially when it is meant to be erotica. Coyness is all well and good, and yes, I understand that the author is meant to be portraying a young, innocent, and naive woman, but personally I found it to be annoying and rather vacuous to constantly read “he kissed me ’there’” instead of her vulva, vagina, cunt, pussy or other more descriptive words. I understand that these words may be too medical or too vulgar, but seriously there are a more poetic ways to describe your genitals if you actually think about it and use your imagination. “There” isn't very concise language. The whole point of “there” is it could be anywhere. Her elbow? Armpit? Left nostril? Surely a writer can use their imagination to find a more fitting description without upsetting anyone's sensibilities. 
Ana’s character is just too unrealistic for me. Virginity aside, to have had no sexual attraction or sensation until she mets her Mr Grey is frankly too unbelievable. I have no issue with a twenty one year old virgin, but to have never even fancied anyone before is beyond belief. It is said that Christian has had no adolescence, but neither has Ana. This is an adolescent relationship based on physical attraction and manipulation. Hardly healthy in any shape or form. 
And yet, this is something we as women are meant to aspire to? She has had no experiences with the opposite sex other than some feeble “making out” sessions. The amount of time that it takes for Ana and Christian to meet, fall in love, and decide to marry is ridiculous. But I suppose this was meant to inject the romance that was lacking. In a matter of weeks, Ana has cured Christian of his “sadistic” ways and by their honeymoon he can no longer bear to see restraint marks upon her wrists and ankles. He is still essentially an overbearing prick, but at least he doesn't want to physically mark her anymore... 
Love changes everything, remember?
Ana also seems to have some kind of multiple personality disorder. In her mind she is three people. Anastasia, her Subconscious, a bespectacled shrew and her Inner Goddess. Essentially her Inner Goddess is Ana’s Id. Her inner dialogue alternates between herself and the Shrew, while her Inner Goddess dons lingerie, red lipstick and spreads her legs at the sound of Christian’s voice. After a while, you actually just want Ana to stop talking to herself and her Shrew, and then lock her skipping Inner Goddess in a cupboard somewhere. It is nonsensical and distracting.
In a nutshell, I can't really understand why this set of stories has caught everyone’s imagination so much. There are so many erotic stories out there, sexier, hotter, racier, kinkier, and just simply, better written.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

New iPad

My first post using my iPad. Very exciting. No, it is. Life at the moment isn't the great adventure that people think it is. I know moving to the bottom of the world is more adventure than a lot of people experience, but really if I am honest, all I really did was sit on a plane for 20 Hours, and exchange houses. That probably sounds more bitter than I mean it. It has been fun meeting new people, and doing the few new things that we have experienced. However, because we have come here to live and work, not a lot of real adventuring has gone on. (I am aware that there is a certain amount of hormonal blah going on here, but can't help that.)

Neil works, the kids do school and I potter around the house doing bits and pieces. I have retaught myself to knit. And have knitted two scarves and three hats. (One hat and scarf ended up being for a Baby Annabell doll as I got the proportions completely wrong!) I am going to dig out the sewing machine and see what I can accomplish with that.

I realised that the deadline for the 101 things to do in 1001 days passes. I didn't do them all, but at least I did some of it. I am going to try and start another list, with the ones that I didn't manage with some new ones added. Depending when I start, the finish date will be around date will be about February 2015.

Missing my chums in the UK, and witchy peeps. I haven't found any other like minded people so far, although I have been told they are around. Until then, I will have to suffice with being more active online.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

On a lighter note...

We human beings are all the same. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do, we are all the same quirky, slightly flawed beings finding our paths in the Universe. I will never be intimidated by ANYBODY ever again, thinking they are better than me because of their position or wealth, intellect or circumstance. Because they are often just as silly, funny, nice, naughty, and rude as I am if you get them in the right circumstances.

(And if any of my fellow readers have a clue who and what I am talking about, then please keep stum (quiet). I am probably on enough lists already! :D)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Sometimes I wonder if I was born on the right planet.

Seriously WTF is going on?

I am watching the UK government tear the NHS apart to make it more like the United States system.
I then watch what the US government is doing to their system, and wonder whether this is not only of the beginning of the end of the NHS, but also the start of something much much more frightening?

Thursday, March 15, 2012

A circle cast.

She sat in the circle. Alone and vulnerable, with only a line of salt to protect her. Her only light a single candle. They looked at her from the outside. They couldn’t reach her without breaching the circle.
They knew what she was getting herself into, but they could not warn her. They knew nothing would be the same once again. They hope it would not burn her soul too much.
Placed in front of the woman was a goblet. Dark liquid filled its bowl. They watched her mutter some strange incantation and lift the vessel to her mouth. She drank it down. Her eyes opened and her Universe shattered into sharp pieces.

Ó Michelle Ward Feb 2011

Here be Dragons...

Do you believe in Dragons?

Dragons are real. But they don’t give a rat’s arse whether we believe in them or not. They don’t suddenly disappear if someone says, “I don’t believe in Dragons”, and we don’t have to clap to save their lives. You might be walking down the road, and walk past one without truly seeing them. I did that once. It was probably a mistake on their part, since when I looked again; it was just another plane flying through the sky. But I know it really was a Dragon.

They aren’t massively impressed with the Human race. We are, as they say, Crunchy and Taste Good With Ketchup. However, sometimes we can strike up conversations with them, and if we don’t irritate them too much, develop reasonably good relationships. I mean, you don’t want to push it too far. They don’t take too kindly to our silly sense of self-importance, and that frazzled hair looks doesn’t look good on anyone and smells bad to boot.

Traditionally they are meant to have large hoards of treasure, but to be honest, the ones I know tend to have, umm, collections of Tat. They like their shiny bits and pieces, and they probably do have some priceless artefacts in there, but you have to get through the piles of strange object d’arts first. (And don’t even ask about the MacDonald’s Happy Meal toy collections!)

Dragons are getting really old these days. Think really eccentric University Professor that might eat you if you piss them off. You have to stay on your toes to even be interesting enough to have a conversation with them. As to why you would want to have a conversation with them, they do have an extraordinary sharp insight on the universe as we know it, or more importantly as we don’t.

So if you ever have the pleasure of meeting a Dragon, then remember to treat them with respect. Bring something for them to add to their Hoard of Treasure (Obviously Disney Happy Meal toys work well. Or something from Regretsy, that will always crack them up!) Tread carefully and speak thoughtfully and you might find you have the time of your life.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

29th February

Since I won't get to post on this day for another four years, I thought I should.

Sad news in show business today, as Davy Jones from The Monkees. has died. I had quite the crush on him as a kid.

Daydream Believer

Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings of the bluebird as she sings
The six o'clock alarm would never ring
But it rings and I rise wipe the sleep out of my eyes
The shavin' razor's cold, and it stings

Cheer up, sleepy Jean, oh what can it mean
To a daydream believer and a homecoming queen?

You once thought of me as a white knight on his steed
Now you know how happy I can be
Oh, and our good times start and end without dollar one to spend
But how much baby do we really need?

Cheer up, sleepy Jean, oh what can it mean
To a daydream believer and a homecoming queen?
Cheer up, sleepy Jean, oh what can it mean
To a daydream believer and a homecoming queen?

Cheer up, sleepy Jean, oh what can it mean
To a daydream believer and a homecoming queen?
Cheer up, sleepy Jean, oh what can it mean
To a daydream believer and a homecoming queen?

Cheer up, sleepy Jean, oh what can it mean
To a daydream believer and a homecoming queen?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I Am A Feminist.

I am a Feminist. I will put my hand up and shout loudly that I AM A FEMINIST. I am getting more and more pissed off with the continual attempt to make Feminism out to be something it isn't, and that any one who considers themselves to be Feminist is somehow a misandric sociopath.


 * I have automatic and autonomous rights to my own reproductive system and sexual behaviour.

 * I have the same right to work, earn money, save money, spend money as any other individual, irrespective of their gender. If I am have the same experience and qualification, am doing the same work at the same level of competence, then I have the right to the same pay.

 *I also have the right to choose a more traditionally viewed way of life, to stay at home and raise my children. However, this right is also not dependent on my gender and is a role that any parent should be able to choose, rather than have to make a decision purely based on economics.

 * I believe that sex is a natural part of healthy life, that has been trivialised and demeaned to a state where it is used a commodity to subjugate society into behaving in particular ways.

 * I believe that raising healthy, independent children is one of the most important things that human beings can achieve, but there is no BEST way of doing this, and the hetero-normative view of Married, Female Mother and Male Father is not always the best way of achieving this.

 * I believe that all people are equal, and this equality is not defined by gender, sexuality, religion, race or any other such definition. I do also accept that equality does not mean that every one is the same, and should be treated as such. Every person will have different needs or have different limitations, just that no one person is worth more than someone else.

I could elaborate more on these points, and add more, but I think at this time, this encompasses the most salient points of my Feminism.

More Links to my Feminism:

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

101/1001 Days Countdown.

It ends on Saturday 28th April 2012.

I have done 25% of the list. Not entirely sure whether I feel like a failure or not. I am quite pleased I have at least got some of it done.

I have three months and three days left to get the rest done. Perhaps will be making a new list soon with some of the same stuff on it again.