I Am A Feminist.

I am a Feminist. I will put my hand up and shout loudly that I AM A FEMINIST. I am getting more and more pissed off with the continual attempt to make Feminism out to be something it isn't, and that any one who considers themselves to be Feminist is somehow a misandric sociopath.


WHY I AM A FEMINIST:

 * I have automatic and autonomous rights to my own reproductive system and sexual behaviour.

 * I have the same right to work, earn money, save money, spend money as any other individual, irrespective of their gender. If I am have the same experience and qualification, am doing the same work at the same level of competence, then I have the right to the same pay.

 *I also have the right to choose a more traditionally viewed way of life, to stay at home and raise my children. However, this right is also not dependent on my gender and is a role that any parent should be able to choose, rather than have to make a decision purely based on economics.

 * I believe that sex is a natural part of healthy life, that has been trivialised and demeaned to a state where it is used a commodity to subjugate society into behaving in particular ways.

 * I believe that raising healthy, independent children is one of the most important things that human beings can achieve, but there is no BEST way of doing this, and the hetero-normative view of Married, Female Mother and Male Father is not always the best way of achieving this.

 * I believe that all people are equal, and this equality is not defined by gender, sexuality, religion, race or any other such definition. I do also accept that equality does not mean that every one is the same, and should be treated as such. Every person will have different needs or have different limitations, just that no one person is worth more than someone else.

I could elaborate more on these points, and add more, but I think at this time, this encompasses the most salient points of my Feminism.

More Links to my Feminism:
http://hystericaljugglings.blogspot.com/2010/10/what-would-you-call-it-then.html
http://hystericaljugglings.blogspot.com/2009/03/froyw.html http://hystericaljugglings.blogspot.com/2008/10/pro-choice-does-not-equal-pro-abortion.html
http://hystericaljugglings.blogspot.com/2008/09/quick-simple-post.html
http://hystericaljugglings.blogspot.com/2008/09/fertility-at-any-cost.html
http://hystericaljugglings.blogspot.com/2008/09/feminism-for-all.html
http://hystericaljugglings.blogspot.com/2009/03/patriarchy-hurts-men-too.html

THE ONLY WITCH IN THE VILLAGE!!!

I am moving overseas at the end of August. Exciting but eversoslightly terrifying as well. It has literally been on the cards for years, just have never been completely sure what the Big Change that was promised would actually be. (Was really really hoping it wasn't another baby as I so don't want/need to be doing that again.)

So yeah, when Hubs got a job on the other side of the world, I Knew that this was it. A chance to leave behind all the crap of the UK and start again.

It is rather overwhelming when I think of it too much and I wonder what it will be like. The seasons are opposite to here, so we will be moving into the Spring Equinox energy when we get there. It gives us the opportunity to move away from the Christianised version of the Sabbats, since Easter will be at the Autumn Equinox, and Christmas will be in the middle of the Summer. (Which undoubtedly will mess with my tiny little mind a lot.)

The one thing is does mean that although Christmas may be happening in the Summer, we can still have our Winter Solstice celebrations (Yule) and make a big deal out of it, which will help to alleviate some of the confusion that the kids may have. (Yes, Pagans get to have two Crimbos!)

What I have wondered though, is will I be the only Witchy type Pagan out there? I have been told that there is someone out there, (described as a White Witchy type, which makes my hackles rise, but may just be a Non-Pagan's description of them.) Whether or not they will have anything in common with me, remains to be seen, but it would be nice to think that we might do.

However, if we don't, so be it. I shall cope. It will be interesting to see what happens to my Witchcraft and stuff when I have more time and space to get on and do it. Who knows, I might even set up my own Trad! :P

Sorta Rape, Not Real Rape... (Warning...possible triggers.)

There has been a lot in the press this week stemming from comments made by a couple of Conservative MPs (and one MEP.)

Firstly Nadine Dorries introduced the Bill, that if passed would mean that girls between the ages of 11-15 would have lessons in sexual abstinance. Just girls, mind you. Not boys... Guardian article on the Bill

Then in a television interview, she came out with, I quote;
“If a stronger ‘just say no’ message was given to children, there might be an impact on sex abuse. A lot of girls, when abuse takes place, don’t realise until later that that was wrong because sex is so common in society."

Later that same week, Ken Clarke came out with comments that could be construed as meaning that some rapes are somehow less than other. He did try to clarify what he meant, but still managed to show his little understanding of what he was talking about in the first place. Ken Clark Clarifies?

He was then defended by the MEP, Roger Helmer, who definitely feels some rape is worse than other rape. "Women share some of the responsibilty"

Let's just say it's been a bad week for Tory politicians opening their mouths without thought, but also a bad week for us all when we look at these views in a broader perspective.

Nadine Dorries...WTF? Seriously? My mind cannot comprehend that a modern woman would come out with this claptrap. But when you take on board her religious and political beliefs (Fundie and very RightWing) it all becomes clear. I really don't even have to pull her ideas apart to show how ridiculous they are. But unfortunately, there are those that while agree that her Bill for single sex abstinance education is ridiculous fail to see how those ideas translate into the comments that her male colleagues make later in the week.

If we are teaching young girls that they must hold ALL sexual responsibility, as women, they STILL must hold that responsibility at all times, and if they are raped, then somehow it must be their fault. Your clothing, your attitude, your whereabouts, your alcohol consumption are all questioned in an attempt to show how a woman's actions contribute to her rape. And if you happen to be raped by someone you know (the majority of all rapes) then all of that, AND your sexual history is taken into account.

Dorries' comments that “If a stronger ‘just say no’ message was given to children, there might be an impact on sex abuse. A lot of girls, when abuse takes place, don’t realise until later that that was wrong because sex is so common in society."

Because when a sexual predator is about to abuse someone, saying no always stops them...What? You mean it doesn't?

Abuse isn't about sex. Like rape, abuse is about POWER! The power of one person over another!

I know I will be preaching to the converted here, but rape and abuse is about violent power over another. It isn't just about sex, or sexual gratification, it has a whole load of other nasties wrapped up along with it.

But the bottom line is, if a woman or man says they don't want to have sex at ANY point of the act, they have that right, and whoever they are with MUST STOP NO MATTER WHAT!

It infantalises and demeans men when the notion that they are somehow incapable of stopping having sex at any given moment is put forward as an excuse, and that when they have an erection or intercourse, that their minds switch off entirely and they become little more than drooling sexual automatons.

On a very personal note, I will share some of my more nasty sexual experiences...(Possible Trigger Alert)

The first time I had sex. I was sixteen, a bit of a social klutz, and generally a bit of a emo teenage mess. I was unsure if I wanted to do anything, but found myself led along and plied with alcohol, so when I really did want to stop, it didn't happen. I "changed my mind" at the last moment, so I know that I fall into that catagory of "it's not proper rape", but imho he had the power, he didn't stop when I wanted him to, and while I don't feel I have any long lasting damage from the event, it still means the first time I had sex is not something I feel fondly about.

I once met someone and went on a few dates with him. He was quite a bit older than me (at Uni while I was still at school.) He was nice enough, and then one Saturday morning, I met him at his digs thinking we were going to go out. As I turned up, his housemates were leaving. He was still in a dressing gown. To cut a long story short, I spent most my time trying to fend off his advances, to stop him trying to "persuade" me to go upstairs with me, and it ended with me managing to get out of the house. (Thank the Gods it wasn't locked.) and ran to a friend's house around the corner. At her house, I managed to rearrange my clothes and refasten my bra that he had managed to undo. Was this a sexual assault? Probably. Did I tell anyone other than my friends? No. Did I think I was an idiot for getting myself into that situation? Yes. However, I didn't ask for any of it, I wasn't expecting it, and why should he have thought he could get into knickers just because he felt like it.

On more than one occasion, I have had my hand forced down someone's trousers to get them off. Even to the point, that the young man in question didn't want me, he wanted my friend, but when I went out of the party to tell him that, he felt he would make do with me instead...

I have lost count of the times I have had my breasts groped and poked by men thinking that because I have spoken to them, maybe even kissed them, that I was "up for it".

It doesn't happen anymore. I am older and wiser and know how not to get myself into those situations. (Or as some arse would say, I am fatter and uglier now...a whole different issue in itself).

I never reported or told anyone (who could/would do anything about them) about these incidents, but I can guarantee that every woman out there probably has similar tales. Does this mean we were all asking for it?

WTF?

In the USA, a woman is executed, although she didn't actually murder anyone...

I appreciate that I won't know all the details in this matter, but essentially it is reported that Teresa Lewis has been executed for her part in the murder of her husband and stepson. However she didn't actually kill them. And the TWO MEN that did got life imprisonment...

I am not saying she shouldn't have been punished for her part in this awful event. But SHE DIDN'T PULL THE TRIGGER. SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE!

She had a limited mental capacity, one of the men in his suicide note wrote that HE instigated it all, and she didn't kill anyone.

But she has been executed all the same...

Why?

Uncomfortable posting.

But I am gonna have to say this.

The oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico is a tragic, awful, indescribable horror. And BP should be held accountable, should be making more effort to clear up this catastrophic mess. We all, as citizens of this planet should be doing all we can to help out.

The US government is right in saying that BP should be held accountable and set money aside to deal with this.

However.

I have one word to say.

Bhopal.


That said, I don't blame the US people that a US company caused such devastation on foreign soil.

The UK General Election

is 2 days away. I have absolutely no enthusiasm for it. That doesn't mean that I won't be voting, I definite will be. Unfortunately I have no enthusiam for who I will be voting for. It will be a tactical vote, made to help stop unwanted candidates from getting in.

What this election has done, is opened my eyes up to see there are things that I had previously realised, but have really become obvious in the last few months. I have always known that I must be wired differently for the majority of other people, but politics is the one area where that difference becomes very apparent.

My politics are Green, and I cannot get my head around the fact that there are people out there that don't believe in Climate Change, don't realise that the Environmental issues are probably going to be the most important factors for EVERYONE in the next 100 years. I don't understand those that think the Economy can grow and grow, and we became richer and richer, consume more and more, and it not have any kind of impact? What planet are these people living on?

I am sick of short-term knee-jerk politics where politicians and big business look only to line their own pockets and never see further into the future to see what impact their policies have on our lives.

I do not understand people who blame economic downturns on a particular type of people. We are not in a recession because we have too many immigrants, or because the politicians took liberties with their finances, we are in the shits because the b(w)ankers took the royal piss out of us all, took our money, lost it, and then expected us to give them more of it, without ever giving it back. Yes, politics should be clean and transparent, but you know what? So should fucking Banking! Give us our money back, you shitheads!

(My inner conspiracy theorist found it very interesting that the politicans' finances fraud neatly replaced the banking fiasco story. You know, the one where the banks lost BILLIONS of our money, compared to the politicians' smaller amount. Now I am not saying that the politicians shouldn't have been brought to book about what they did, but in the big picture, why wasn't more done about the b(w)ankers?)

I read the Green Party's Manifesto. It makes sense to me. But I wonder how many people out there have actually read the manifesto of the political party they are going to vote for.

Am I really so weird that I try to make informed decisions about things in my life? Am I really so odd that I can see the bigger picture and want to do something about it? Why am I wired so differently from so many other people?

*People I am friends with tend to also see the big picture and care about stuff, which is probably why I am friends with them in the first place. Just a shame most of them are only on the interwebz*

Being A Weirdo.

I am proud to say that I have been a Weirdo my entire life! (As in an odd, eccentric, or unconventional person, not a scary psycho!)

I have my moments of wanting to fit in with the normal people, but often I find that the normal people aren't very accomodating. Normal people like everyone to be the same, have the same views, ideas and beliefs, and they don't think very highly of those that dare to be different.

I can't help being different. I have always danced to my own tune, and my children do too. Unfortunately for my son, he goes to school with all the normal people's children who are all learning to be normal too. So he is feeling it a bit at the moment, on the one hand wanting to fit in, but on the other knowing that he really doesn't in his heart.

I find that the internet has opened the door to those who don't think, do or feel that same as the majority of other people. It ranges from just us types that are just apart from the mainstream to those that are completely out there. (No offense, but Otherkin Na'vi? WTF?)

Being weird in my books usually makes you a more thoughtful person. Not necessarily a clever person, but one that at least takes the time to think things through before making a judgement or decision. A weirdo is not a Daily Mail reader. (And if they are, it is usually for the WTF quality.) A weirdo knows how to think outside the box. A weirdo doesn't want or need to be validated by meaningless standards.

Being a weirdo is cool

Those Pesky Vampires.

You would think that the Vatican would have better things to worry about. Or rather SHOULD have better things to worry about.

I certainly don't think that sparkly vamps are much of a threat to Catholism. I would suggest that outdated dogma and hypocrasy are much bigger threats.

Where have all the Grown Ups gone?

There is a side effect of our Youth obsessed culture that doesn't seem to be talked about much. But a number of events that have happened in the past few months have made me realise that most adults are so by chronological age, rather than maturity. There seem to be more and more examples of people that just need to grow the fuck up.

I don't mean that everyone should be sensible all the time, boring and unable to kick loose, but overall there are too many people I know who range in age from 25 to 60+, for all intents and purposes meant to be Grown Ups, who behave like immature adolescents.

I am really very tired of adults whinging about how crap their lives are, and how mean everyone is to them, and how the world owes them something. Too many people have Redwood size chips on their shoulders that they won't take responsibilty for.

I am the first to admit there are occasions where I drink too much, muck around and generally behave in a manner "unbecoming of a lady my age"!! But I don't do it often, I don't see it as a right and I certainly don't do it in front of my children.

In the workplace, bullying is rife. It is either ignored, condoned or encouraged. Therefore, because bullying is so commonplace, it is easy to slip into a victim mentality that isn't healthy. Now, don't get me wrong, being bullied is shit whoever you are. But recently I have experienced grown women pulling the "I am being bullied" card, because they aren't getting their own way. It seems to be so easy to pull out these labels and hide behind them, rather than actually working the situation out, even if it is hard work.

In every walk of life I am seeing it. Everything is always someone's fault. Why have we lost the ability to take responsibilty for our own lives? WE can't be looked after for ever.

The scariest part of it all is our future. What happens to children when their parents don't act like Grown Ups?

Fitting In

Human beings are social animals. We like to be part of a group. Ideally this would be a group of like-minded, friendly peers of our own choosing. Eventually if we are lucky, we have established a group like this (of varying sizes) by our adulthood.

However, for some reason society insists on throwing our children into large groups where the only thing in common is the year of their birth. Group dynamics and social status are set by who you are friends with and what your interests are. Often however, there is one child, for whatever reason doesn't quite fit in.

This would be my son. He is nearly 8 years old. The youngest of his year. I feel guilty as I know that it is somewhat my fault. We don't socialise with the other parents, other than superficial chitchat outside the classroom, but then we have very little in common with them. The area where we live, success is based on what car you drive, how big your house is, how much stuff you have. And in those terms, we are not successful. We don't drive, we live in a too small maisonette, and we don't do stuff. We are a bit weird, a bit radical, a bit different. Those aren't good things to a child.

It has come to a head this year when my son's best friend left school without a word. Owen came back from his holidays and his friend just wasn't there anymore. And the worst thing, he didn't even bother saying goodbye. (His mum has my contact details. There was no excuse to do that to a child.) But having his buddy gone has meant that his position in the class has changed. He is bestfriendless, and it hurts. The other kids seem to now barely tolerate him. He isn't allowed to join in games, he is told he is "rubbish", and that "boys with O in their names and who wear glasses can't join in..." Talking to the teacher hasn't really gone anywhere. We had assurances that things would be kept an eye on, and that support would be given. I mean, adults miss their friends, and this is an eight year old! However, I don't really think the support has been given to him.

I honestly don't know what to do. While I understand what is going on, the repercussions for us are that we have a miserably and stroppy child who argues and sulks over the slightest incident at home, because he is unhappy at school. I can't condone the bad behaviour, but I hate telling him off constantly for rudeness and inconsideration. It is upsetting as I feel so useless.

I know kids can be cruel. However, now having children of my own, I know that some of that cruelity is based on parental response. If your kids see you taking the piss out of other people they aren't going to think twice about doing it themselves. If you make a huge deal about your plasmascreen tv, then someone that doesn't have one must be weird.

We need to change our materialism, thatcherite/blairite, dogeatdog attitude, yet I look at the majority of the children around here, and it isn't happening.



This depressing post was brought to you by fed-upness irritation, and hopelessness.

To The Royal British Legion

Hear, bloody hear!!!!!!

A Bad Thing

*Spits*

The BNP now have two MEPs!!!!!!

I am disgusted. I am disgusted at the stupidity and ignorance of the people that voted for them. I am sure that they would not have looked into the BNP's policies or past the shallow rhetoric saying what they think people want to hear.

The irony of it being the anniversary of the D-Day landings this weekend, and our country elects fascists to represent our country in Europe is just sad and horrifying beyond words.

Sometimes I have very little faith in humanity.

Upset and really ANGRY!

Footage of the man who died at the G20 protests.

United Kingdom - 03/08/08

Will nothing be done?




Spread the word.

WE ARE WATCHING YOU

I am not really a fan of dystopian science fiction, but I have quite a lot of it. And because of that I decided to wait a while before I wrote this post. I waited to see if I would calm down. I didn't.

This week we saw the announcement of the Government's new Anti-Terror Strategies. And you know what? They make me really really fucking uncomfortable. Why does it make me feel like this?

Shopping centre and store managers will be among 60,000 workers trained to help deal with terrorist threats.

Will they get special armbands and powers? Are we, the public being trained to spy on each other?

I appreciate that this could be considered quite a simplistic interpretation of what these strategies mean, but I personally think that we could be in danger of slipping down a very dangerous slope. If indeed we aren't already sliding down it with our eyes closed already. (See my post of Phillip Pullman's essay here .)

It is all very well saying that this private group of citizens will only use this training for Terrorist threats, but at the end of the day, who are the Terrorists? At the moment, they are extremist Muslim fundamentalists. What happens when that definition changes? And even before the goalposts change and we have a new enemy to be fearful of, what does this mean to the UK as we know it now. Do we really need specifically trained supermarket supervisors, and security guards watching us while we shop to see if we are doing anything suspicious? What is deemed suspicious? Who makes those judgement calls? Why does this warrant a special type of person looking out for them?

The reasons we are given for why we need these strategies is because this is New, and More Scary. That These People cannot be reasoned with, and we Must Keep Safe and Vigilent. So what, more scary than bombs going off in London parks, and outside major tourist attractions? I grew up with the IRA bombing London. I grew up with my dad coming home to tell us that he had just missed being bombed, and that he had to hang on to the scaffolding on the building he was working on as it shook from the vibrations. Terrorist threats to London are nothing new. There have been no bins in any of London's train stations for years now, and those that do have some kind of litterbags, well, they are see-through. Any unattended bags are watched suspiciously and reported. So what really is the difference?

The difference is now that there will be people around that will be specially trained to watch you and report on you if you are doing anything suspicious.

F.R.O.Y.W.

Isn't it interesting how long some men stay "liberal" when it's a choice between his job and HER job? "Oh yeah, I am all for equality!" Yeah, right. Until it is a choice of being equal in who keeps their job! Let the part-timers (predominantly women) and those on maternity leave (umm, women) lose their jobs first!

The old chestnuts of "men need to support their families", "women must choose between a career and having babies". Since apparently men don't have babies. That's quite outstanding scientific news. I am surprised there hasn't been more made of it. Since I had always thought men that had babies were called FATHERS!

So yeah, the title of this post stands for FUCK RIGHT OFF, YOU WANKERS!

Disillusionment...part deux

I have started to tentatively put my nose back out on the pagan scene. I was quite active a few years back, but after some horrible experiences I pulled my head back in. But I do miss it. I am not entirely sure why, but I want people that feel the same way about things as I do, or at the very least people that don't think I am a freak for feeling the way I do.

I just find that a lot of pagans/witches/insert your appropriate label here just don't seem to be on the same mindset as me. Now I have never expected people to be exactly the same as me, but I do get tired of being the odd one out.

I often have the conversation with my husband where we ponder if we really are the weirdos. The conclusion that we have come to is that we must be. We look at our peers, and we have very little in common with them. Our concerns and priorities aren't the same. And I just don't understand why that is. My concerns and priorities are based on what I consider to be common sense. But that appears to be different from what others consider common sense.

I am very disillusioned with People at the moment. I am just not that sure what to do about it.

A quick simple post

Everyone should read Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale.

And then think of the state of affairs mixing religion and politics.