Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Being A Weirdo.

I am proud to say that I have been a Weirdo my entire life! (As in an odd, eccentric, or unconventional person, not a scary psycho!)

I have my moments of wanting to fit in with the normal people, but often I find that the normal people aren't very accomodating. Normal people like everyone to be the same, have the same views, ideas and beliefs, and they don't think very highly of those that dare to be different.

I can't help being different. I have always danced to my own tune, and my children do too. Unfortunately for my son, he goes to school with all the normal people's children who are all learning to be normal too. So he is feeling it a bit at the moment, on the one hand wanting to fit in, but on the other knowing that he really doesn't in his heart.

I find that the internet has opened the door to those who don't think, do or feel that same as the majority of other people. It ranges from just us types that are just apart from the mainstream to those that are completely out there. (No offense, but Otherkin Na'vi? WTF?)

Being weird in my books usually makes you a more thoughtful person. Not necessarily a clever person, but one that at least takes the time to think things through before making a judgement or decision. A weirdo is not a Daily Mail reader. (And if they are, it is usually for the WTF quality.) A weirdo knows how to think outside the box. A weirdo doesn't want or need to be validated by meaningless standards.

Being a weirdo is cool

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Being Vegan...

I am coming up to the end of my 21 days of being vegan. I would say I have been about 75% successful. I certainly have been vegetarian the entire time, and plan to continue. The veganism has been harder work simply because there have been occasions where I haven't checked the labels properly, and there have been those "extra" ingredients. (And once I completely fell off the vegan wagon with a veggie pizza!) However, I did do 7 days of veganism, so have completed that part of my 101/1001 days.

Another problem I have found is that I can't just afford to replace stuff that we already have, so it is a case of use it all up first, and then get a vegan subsitute. Eating out can problematic as most restaurants can just about cope with the idea of vegetarianism, but veganism just blows their minds. As for having dinner at other peoples' then I think it will depend on who they are, some will cope better with veganism than others.

Hubs isn't completely sure about the veganism. He is supportive up to a point, I just think he feels it is a bit weird. The kids like some of the stuff, and it does mean that the whole family is eating more vegetables.

It is a work in progress. The vegetarianism is just a given now, but I will have to try harder with the veganism.

Monday, January 11, 2010


What is Friendship?

1. the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person's friendship.
2. a friendly relation or intimacy.
3. friendly feeling or disposition.

2. harmony, accord, understanding, rapport.

Throughout a person's life, friendships tend to be quite fluid and ever-changing. As we move from school to work, through different relationships, marriage, parenthood etc, the people that we consider to be friends can differ quite considerably. As children and teenagers, our friends are usually felt to be the most important people in our lives, surpassing parents and family. As adults we keep some of our childhood friends, and shed others. We develop more through different stages of our lifes, and again, they change as we get older.

I don't think we get to a point in our lives where we don't need friends. And it can be very hard when they are scarce on the ground. I know that people say "oh, my partner is my best friend" which is true, I do consider my husband to be my best friend. Just, he is one of my best friends. There are things that I don't want to share with him, that he doesn't need to know, that sometimes need to be whinged about by someone else who cares, but doesn't care too much!

A best friend can be just a phonecall away, but sometime a friend needs to be there in Real Life too. Which makes it hard when you don't have that person anymore.

And there I shall stop. Otherwise this may turn into a whine.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

"Daughter" by Nicole Blackman

Photo by me - DO NOT NICK!

A poem by Nicole Blackman

One day I'll give birth to a tiny baby girl
and when she's born she'll scream and I'll make sure
she never stops.

I will kiss her before I lay her down
and will tell her a story so she knows
how it is and how it must be for her to survive.

I'll tell her about the power of water
the seduction of paper
the promise of gasoline
and the hope of blood.

I'll teach her to shave her eyebrows and
mark her skin.

I'll teach her that her body is
her greatest work of art.

I'll tell her to light things on fire
and keep them burning.

I'll teach her that the fire will not consume her,
that she must take it and use it.

I'll tell her to be tri-sexual, to try anything
to sleep with, fight with, pray with anyone,
just as long as she feels something.

I'll help her do her best work when it rains.
I'll tell her to reinvent herself every 28 days.
I'll teach her to develop all her selves,
the courageous ones,
the smart ones,
the dreaming ones
the fast ones.

I'll teach her that she has an army inside her
that can save her life.

I'll tell her to say Fuck like other people say The
and when people are shocked
to ask them why they so fear a small quartet
of letters.

I'll make sure she always carries a pen
so she can take down the evidence.
If she has no paper, I'll teach her to
write everything down on her tongue
write it on her thighs.

I'll help her to see that she will not find God
or salvation in a dark brick building
built by dead men.

I'll explain to her that it's better to regret the things
she has done than the things she hasn't.

I'll teach her to write her manifestos
on cocktail napkins.
I'll say she should make men lick her enterprise.

I'll teach her to talk hard.
I'll tell her that her skin is the
most beautiful dress she will ever wear.

I'll tell her that people must earn the right
to use her nickname,
that forced intimacy is san ugly thing.

I'll make her understand that she is worth more
with her clothes on.

I'll tell her that when the words finally flow too fast
and she has no use for a pen
that she must quit her job
run out of the house in her bathrobe,
leaving the door open.
I'll teach her to follow the words.

I'll tell her to stand up
and head for the door
after she makes love.
When he asks her to
stay she'll say
she's got to

I'll tell her that when she first bleeds
when she is a woman,
to go up to the roof at midnight,
reach her hands up to the sky and scream.

I'll teach her to be whole, to be holy,
to be so much that she doesn't even
need me anymore.
I'll tell her to go quickly and never come back.
I will make her stronger than me.

I'll say to her never forget what they did to you
and never let them know you remember.

Never forget what they did to you
and never let them know you remember.

Poem by Nicole Blackman
Photo by me, DO NOT NICK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


We have lots and lots of snow.

DS is off on a SnowDay from school, but Hubs has got into work, but I am a bit concerned about how he is going to get home again!

We will be out later to go make snowpeople, snowangels, and to have snowfights. Josie has seen snow before (last week) but hasn't really experienced it properly. When it snowed last year, she was too little to be taken out of the bebe-carrier.

I love snow. I know it can be problematic, but as usual what is actually the problem is our response to snow, rather than the snow itself. It isn't like we aren't told it is probably going to snow. So we should be able to get enough food in, etc etc to cope with what is usually little more than a day or 2 of not being able to get to the shops. (I can, as I walk there, as long as it is open that is!)

We will play in the snow, make hot choc, with marshmallows (well, the kids will have them, they have egg in them! :( ) We will make bean stew or butternut squash curry, and we will be warm and cosy. Which I am very grateful for.

Monday, January 4, 2010

First dose of 2010 cutezzzzz


The Gaian Tarot - What will 2010 bring me?


3 - the Gardener
Sensuality, creativity, abundance

It is a time of great fertile and abundant opportunities for you. You are pregnant with new creations — an art form, a book, a project, even a baby. You embody both the nurturing Mother and the sensual Lover. You are a steward of the land when you plant, weed and nourish your garden in a sustainable manner. At harvest time, you offer the best possible of all foods to those whom you love. You are a hard worker, but you take great delight in the scent of lavender fields on a hot summer day and the dizzying riot of color, shapes and textures in the garden. You love your own body; you love your mate, your children, your friends, your community; you love the natural world around you. Your appetite for connection, sensuality and creativity seems boundless. The people around you are blessed to have you in their lives.


9 - the Hermit
Sacred solitude

You are being challenged to spend time in sacred solitude. You need to withdraw from the world to focus on your inner life and spirituality. Perhaps you have been wounded in the "wars of the world," or perhaps you are fatigued and empty from putting out so much energy, especially if you are a caregiver. Your well is empty and it needs to be filled. Take some time out for a retreat. Go away to the mountains or the sea, by yourself, without partner or friends. Spend time outside in nature, observing the changes in your environment day by day. Your inner wisdom and sense of well-being will grow effortlessly the more time you spend outside. When you once again enter community life, others will be drawn to the light they see inside you and may come to you for guidance. For part of your purpose is to share what you've learned with others.


2 - the High Priestess
Dreams, voices and visions

Resolution comes through intuition and going within. Pay close attention to your dreams, as they may carry potent messages for you. Let your intuition flow. Listen for the subtext in the words of others; hear the words they don't speak out loud. Watch for synchronicities and omens in your everyday life. Study the "dark arts" of divination — reading the cards, astrology, scrying, interpreting dreams. Listen for voices in the wind, look for patterns in the clouds. Meditate. Study the language of symbol and myth. At the dark of the moon, or when your wise blood flows, listen to the still small voice within. It is Her voice, and it speaks of mysteries, secrets, and truth.


The Faeries' Oracle - What will 2010 bring me?

Using The Faeries' Oracle by Brian Froud

It is time to accept change, to move on to the next phase. Power and strength in the present and future come from releasing the past. This is a time of liberation, and we might as well cooperate with it. It will happen, whether we want it to or not. Release and liberation may be painful or joyful, depending on the circumstances. Cry if you need to, be joyful if that is appropriate, but in either case trust the process, acknowledge what you feel, and prepare to move on.

Ultimately, Lys is trying to help people develop true self-respect and self-esteem, but she has to start much further down the scale of idealism than that. She tries to inspire practical help for those who need it most. She is the inspiration for the first wobbly steps taken toward healing by a damaged soul. Her presence in a reading indicates that something that had seemed lost and fixed in that loss is now open to healing. Someone is ready to begin, with help, the climb out of the inner mire. There is hope here, and a need for loving kindness tempered by practicality. If you call upon Lys for assistance in helping another, she will always give it, often by encouraging them to be receptive and others to also be helpful. She always has time to support those who have time for others.

Epona's Wild Daughter, Dorcha, is the sphinx, whose riddles must be answered lest we otherwise be destroyed by our own internal conflicts. Dorcha reminds us that we cannot go forward until we have faced something buried within us that is holding us back. Her presence in a reading tells us that finding and working through this is a task of some urgency. We can expect help in this from other people, from the faeries, and from our dreams, but we must be open to these difficult questions and answers and be ready to face things about ourselves that are not as we would wish them to be. She urges us to heal the unresolved issues about who we really are and what we truly want to be. This is part of the required course in Self Transformation 101 that we are all enrolled in here on Planet Earth. The answers to her riddles often come in a sudden burst of enlightenment, like the 'solution' to a Zen koan. We may watch a leaf fall or catch a glimpse of the tiny sliver of the new moon in the sky and suddenly be hit by the answer. Before that happens, we usually work long and hard upon the question, searching and digging for an answer. The realization, when we really have it, will be transformative; we will no longer be the people that we once were. You don't like this interpretation? Well, I have been telling you all along that we (you and I and everyone else) will all receive varying messages from the faeries in the cards. Yours may well differ from mine. Ask Dorcha what message she has for you--and don't be surprised if her answer is another question or riddle. She and I both wish you well in solving it with all our hearts.