Overemotional?

When people meet me for the first time, and possibly for a few more times, they seem to get the impression that I am a hard-nosed cow. And tbh, I probably am. It takes a long time for me to be completely open with someone, and sometimes it doesn't happen at all. It wasn't always like that. Too often I would meet someone that I felt had a certain kindred spirit quality about them, and I would burn too hot, reveal too much, and get my fingers burnt.

I could be too enthusiastic, too full on, and too much. No one seemed to be able to cope with the unabashed me. So the walls went up. And up and up.

The problem with these Great Walls of Hysterical Juggling means that all the emotion and feeling that would spew forth with abandon is kept in, safe and quiet to the outside, yet constantly bubbling away like a great big Cauldron of Power. Occasionally it erupts and can be a force for good or for evil depending on the situation.

I need to be able to dismantle these walls, but rein the emotional abundance in. I know there is nothing wrong with emotion, but mine have always seem to frighten people. They just don't GET it, they don't GET me.

However, I am very much getting to the stage in life where I don't care about that anymore.

Does it matter that I cry at mushy films, at poetry, at music, in empathy to someone on the telly, in real life etc?

Does it matter that I have to turn off the news because I become overwhelmed by the sadness, trauma, hatred that we are constantly bombarded with?

Is it wrong that the more I hear about the state of the world and what the "governments" of the world are doing to it, and I want to scream in their faces "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

Is it wrong to want to teach my children survivalist skills, because I am coming to the conclusion that they, or their children are going to need them?

Am I the only one that wants to wear pink leopard spotted high heels, dance on tables, drunk on red wine, kissing strangers and jumping in fountains?

Am I the only one that wants to run through the woods at night, and skinnydip in the moonlight?

Am I the only one that looks at a life that isn't bad in any way, but it isn't the life that they ever expected...?

Typical Hysterical Jugglings and Waffle

I want to be Vegan. I am pretty much Vegetarian most of the time (although I had some major slippage over the holidays, but am getting back on track now.) I don't eat dairy whatever, as it does Bad Things to me, so when combined with the veggism, I am about 65% on the way to being fully vegan, since I don't eat that many eggs.

Why I would like to be Vegan.

I think it is an ethical thing to do. The meat and dairy/egg industry is not nice in any way, shape or form. By abstaining from their products, I am no longer condoning an industry that has a devastating environmental effect on our world. Neither am I part of a business that sees animals/meat as a commodity to be bought and sold, and treated as a Thing rather than a Living Being.

It seems to be a healthier option for me. I take care over what I eat, and I plan and create interesting menus. If the added bonus that it helps me lose weight, then cool bananas as well.

However, I have several dilemmas that I am working through. As a Witch, I am very aware that Death is an integral part of Life, and that I, as a human being cannot survive in this world without something sacrificing its life for me. Whether that be plant or animal. Seeing the world as all interlinked and all Life being part of each other, on a spiritual level, how can I rationalise one form of Life over another?

On an environmental level, agriculture is not always the best use for land. Although we have taken raising animals for meat to an obscene extreme, there is an argument that says we need a certain amount of animals on the land to maintain the natural environment. Think sheep grazing on lowlands, they eat the grass that if left to its own devices would decimate the local flora. They are a part of the "circle of life" and to remove them from the ecosystem (which is the ultimate conclusion to veganism) then that ecosystem is destroyed.

What do I do with all my old animal products? Make up and toiletries with honey in them. Leather shoes, bags, boots, coats, etc... Wool? The list goes on and on.

I am not a WhiteLighter Witch. I am a Sweat, Spit, Blood and Shit kinda Witch. I am not scared of getting my hands dirty when I need to. So where does this leave Veganism?

I want...I want...I want...

These shoes are Made Of Awesome...

Hot Pink Leopard Spotted High Heeled Mary Janes!

Very impractical for a marriedmumof2, but I don't GIVVASHIT! (Sorry) I loves them!

And if we had the spare monies, I would so get them!